PandorasBox Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I read a thread called, 31 reasons to NOT have an affair. Then someone else made a thread on, 31 reasons TO have affair. I see that porn is still an ongoing isuse just as affairs. Its something that will probably always be debateable. So, thought we could do a thread on reasons TO watch porn, while in a relationship. And reasons NOT to watch porn while in a relationshp. What are your reasons? Ok, lets hear from both sides of the fence. Ready, go.....
Pyro Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Why don't you start? As for me, I am neutral in this debate She can watch porn if she chooses, just don't try and hide it.
KittenMoon Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I support porn. -It's a great aphrodiasiac for both parties -It's a "quick fix" helper when you're frisky and your partner isn't around -It can help you play out fantasies you can't do, or wouldn't really want to do, in real life -It can help a couple identify things they find sexy to each other w/o having to just come out and say it awkwardly -It can be sweet, sensual, erotic, kinky, bizarre, depraved, and everything in between; there is something for everyone Yay porn!
ElvenPriestess Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 As I stated in the other thread, lusting is a sin. In marriage at least if not in any other type of relationship. I'm religious so that plays a part as well. Bottom line: Porn=lusting, lusting is a sin There, I started it.
Author PandorasBox Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Why don't you start? As for me, I am neutral in this debate She can watch porn if she chooses, just don't try and hide it. I'm neutral too. I see both sides in a way. I only have a few. -can spice up the bedroom department(if both agree to it) -ways of learning/trying new things together. -can be damaging if done in excess. -can be damaging if its always hidden or kept a secret from spouse.
ElvenPriestess Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I support porn. -It's a great aphrodiasiac for both parties -It's a "quick fix" helper when you're frisky and your partner isn't around -It can help you play out fantasies you can't do, or wouldn't really want to do, in real life -It can help a couple identify things they find sexy to each other w/o having to just come out and say it awkwardly -It can be sweet, sensual, erotic, kinky, bizarre, depraved, and everything in between; there is something for everyone Yay porn! KM! I was hoping to see you here, col the way you and I have managed to have opposite views with out going at each other's throats. I do like many of the things you listed, I just find I can make them happen with out added material. (sweet, sensual, erotic, kinky, bizarre,)
ElvenPriestess Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Sex and intimacy are not just black and white, nakedness is a part of intimacy as well. There for, my next reason I am anti-porn in a relationship: It demeans the relationship by demeaning those aspects.
Author PandorasBox Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 As I stated in the other thread, lusting is a sin. In marriage at least if not in any other type of relationship. I'm religious so that plays a part as well. Bottom line: Porn=lusting, lusting is a sin There, I started it. I can see your point EP. As I said earlier I kind of can see both sides. But just out of curiosty, since lusting=sin. haven't we all sinned at some point in our lives? Do you think that if someone looked at porn and lusted, or even at another woman in clothes and lusted they would not be forgiven? Just wondering.
ElvenPriestess Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I can see your point EP. As I said earlier I kind of can see both sides. But just out of curiosty, since lusting=sin. haven't we all sinned at some point in our lives? Do you think that if someone looked at porn and lusted, or even at another woman in clothes and lusted they would not be forgiven? Just wondering. I will try and stay on topic best I can, but a valid ? indeed. Yes lusting is a sin, no it is not unforgivable. (That being my religious side talking) It is more the CHOICE to resist wrong temptation, or to succumb to it. If one truly feels remorse, they can be forgiven. Basically, it's a choice. A man or woman can choose to say yes or know to these temptations. All things are forgivable if the one committing it wants that. If not, that's a whole other issue.
KittenMoon Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 KM! I was hoping to see you here, col the way you and I have managed to have opposite views with out going at each other's throats. I do like many of the things you listed, I just find I can make them happen with out added material. (sweet, sensual, erotic, kinky, bizarre,) I try to understand both viewpoints, and I do. I have a group of friends where the porn debate is pretty much 50/50. But the relationship quality doesn't seem affected at all by it. I mean, I used to love going down on my exbf while he watched porn- didn't stop him from breaking up with me. Conversely, a friend in this group is very uncomfortable about porn, and doesn't like it in the relationship, and it didn't stop her bf from becoming her fiance, or the love I see between them. And a third couple are married and watch porn together, and both of them are very moral, very wonderful people. A liking of porn doens't make someone bad, or make them a bad SO. Like anything else (alcohol, drugs, shopping, eating, etc) it's how you choose to involve it in your life.
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Sex and intimacy are not just black and white, nakedness is a part of intimacy as well. There for, my next reason I am anti-porn in a relationship: It demeans the relationship by demeaning those aspects. It can demean a relationship.. but it doesn't mean that it does.. Each relationship is different and can't be painted with such a broad brush as you are using... If you make blanket statements it takes the power out of your position.
ElvenPriestess Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I try to understand both viewpoints, and I do. I have a group of friends where the porn debate is pretty much 50/50. But the relationship quality doesn't seem affected at all by it. I mean, I used to love going down on my exbf while he watched porn- didn't stop him from breaking up with me. Conversely, a friend in this group is very uncomfortable about porn, and doesn't like it in the relationship, and it didn't stop her bf from becoming her fiance, or the love I see between them. And a third couple are married and watch porn together, and both of them are very moral, very wonderful people. A liking of porn doens't make someone bad, or make them a bad SO. Like anything else (alcohol, drugs, shopping, eating, etc) it's how you choose to involve it in your life. In THAT case, given your three examples, I suppose it would be about finding some one compatible with one's views on the topic yes?
ElvenPriestess Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 It can demean a relationship.. but it doesn't mean that it does.. Each relationship is different and can't be painted with such a broad brush as you are using... If you make blanket statements it takes the power out of your position. The OP wanted examples, I'm trying to stick to that and not hijack the thread of course. My views on this are very simple but require too much explaining and background. Porn pretty much destroyed the trust my H and I used to have. You're right AC, every relationship is different. And I know not every relationship is so black and white, it's merely my personal views which I paint to be so clear cut.
KittenMoon Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 In THAT case, given your three examples, I suppose it would be about finding some one compatible with one's views on the topic yes? That's pretty much the gist of it- but like in all relationships, there needs to be a little give and take on our views. Finding that person who matches up 100% is a fool's errand. Also, I'm saying that anything can damage a relationship, not just things like porn.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 The only reason I watch porn is just to heat things up a bit before I go rub one off, so to speak. Its completely a personal thing having nothing to do with any relationship I'm in or the sex I'm having in that relationship. I can't think of any other reason to watch it. I guess some could say that healthy masturbation can lead to a greater sexual self awareness that you can pass on to your partner, and since porn helps things along when you masturbate it can be said to be good for a couple's sex life in a roundabout way. I guess watching porn as a couple could help add a kink to a sexual experience as well. Reasons not to watch it? If you are masturbating so much that it interferes with your sex life, then drop the porn to de-intensify the experience, then perhaps you can slow down the masturbation and speed up your sex life. If it replaces your sex life, then its time to either step away from the porn and unhandle your d*ck and work on your problems to fix them, or either end the relationship and find a healthier sexual situation.
spookie Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I was just expounding on the perks in the other thread.... -Is a safe way to explore your sexuality (likes, dislikes, turn-ons), which you can then bring to the R -Can make one a better lover. Example: my bf was a virgin before he met me, but thanks to having indulged in porn for years, he is the best in bed I've ever because he's acquired so many ideas over the years about what to do with a woman. -It's a good outlet for lust. Preferable, IMO, to fantasies regarding people IRL, for example. Lusting may be a "sin", but it's unreasonable IMO to expect people not to do it. I'd rather bf jerk off to nameless plastic blonde online than to IRL girls in his past/present. -It's highly entertaining
blind_otter Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I used to be very pro-porn and I watched it often. For some reason, in my current relationship, I rarely if ever masturbate and never really watch porn any more. I guess I find it empty and unfulfilling and occassionally degrading. And I have sex on a daily basis so I don't really need to masturbate. I don't mind other people watching it...but I think in some cases it can desensitize the people who indulge too much.
ElvenPriestess Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I don't mind other people watching it...but I think in some cases it can desensitize the people who indulge too much. Agreed. It can at that.
JackJack Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Me and my wife watch it on an occassion together. Personally, I grew tired of it really. I think ever since I was a teen and started to look at dirty mags and vids, and have watched them off and on over the years, I just got kind of bored with it. And I have seen all kinds too.
blind_otter Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I noticed when I did watch porn that my interest in the bizarre escalated. Maybe it was just curiosity, but looking back it was mildly disturbing. I saw some freakish things. Like the lady who managed to stuff a football in her...special place.
JackJack Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I noticed when I did watch porn that my interest in the bizarre escalated. Maybe it was just curiosity, but looking back it was mildly disturbing. I saw some freakish things. Like the lady who managed to stuff a football in her...special place. Wow I must have missed that one.
spookie Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I noticed when I did watch porn that my interest in the bizarre escalated. Maybe it was just curiosity, but looking back it was mildly disturbing. I saw some freakish things. Like the lady who managed to stuff a football in her...special place. The other day I was watching 2 lesbians having sex with a dead fish.
JackJack Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I saw a video once of some asian women having sex with a octopus tentacle.
VinaAmez Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I saw a video once of some asian women having sex with a octopus tentacle. Must have made quite an impression for you to remember that.
Saxis Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 The other day I was watching 2 lesbians having sex with a dead fish. Tuna Sandwich anyone? Some people are fine with their partner lusting after others. I'm not. I want to be the object of their lust, as they are mine. As far as demeaning the relationship, I think it disconnects sex from intimacy. For those of us who connect the two very strongly, it becomes a problem. I agree, find someone with similar views on the issue
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