mortensorchid Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 My friend "Ken" and his girlfriend "Tanya" broke up last summer. They had been together for seven years, living together for six. I feel like part of it was my fault. Ken and I have been friends for a very long time, nearly ten years. He met me before he had met Tanya, they started dating then moved in together. They were working opposite schedules (Ken during the day and Tanya at night), and Ken and I would get together and do things. I took an active interest in things that he did (guns, motorcycles, etc.), and introduced him to new things (sushi, tennis, etc.). Tanya, meanwhile, did not seem to have many active interests besides working. After they broke up (she was angry that Ken wasn't going to ask her to marry her after they'd been together for seven years), Ken reveiled to me that they had had several fights about me. She accused him of cheating with me. I assure all that NOTHING ever happened between me and him, we are friends and we always will be friends. I feel bad. I had always suspected that she felt intimidated by me, even though all the times we were together or chatted we were friendly. I feel like I played a part in their split. Tanya has disappeared, Ken and I are still friends. He said he doesn't blame me for their split, but I felt like I could have done things differently somehow.
Balthazar Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I don't think it is your fault. It sounds as if Ken and Tanya had issues, and you may have been the catalyst to bring these issues to light. Tanya is better off finding a man who will commit to her, and Ken is probably better off with you, since you seem to have so much fun. Why not make it official with him?
maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 It is always easier to blame someone else for your problems, than to look at your situation and take responsibility for your part. Don't feel badly. Ken is free to have his own friends and maybe Tanya should have made more of an effort to be part of their relationship. Maybe Ken should have as well- but don't sweat it. I can see why she would be jealous, but I think if she had made an effort to get to know you, she would have felt a lot better.
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