blocked Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 My ex and I dated for about 2 years. We met during the last years of college. The first year and a half was great; it was the first serious relationship for both of us and we were very much in love. Later on, the relationship started deteriorating due to stress from finishing school and starting new careers. We broke up but were on and off for almost a year. This was a year ago. He asked me to get back together with him but we had an argument and we didn't end up getting back together. A month after we finally broke up, he met a girl from another country and they started a relationship. She left her country and lived with him for almost a year. During this past year, I have not had any contact with him because he felt that it would make his new girlfriend unhappy. When we first broke up he was very upset and almost begged me to remain friends with him. Anyway, I switched IM accounts when he told me he dind't want to have contact a year ago. Recently, I went back to the old IM account which has him on the contact list. I've noticed that he has been blocking me at night (I have friends who have him on their list) and unblocking me during the day. He also changes his IM name to a simpler name during the day. He has spoken to me once to say hi and chit chat. I have initiated converstaion two times after that. Both times we spoke very briefly andd not in great detail. He told me he was considering going to live in another country for a little while (I know this is where his new gf is from). He has said nothing about her but I know that she went back home recently to stay. My question is... why is he going to all this trouble of blocking and unblocking me? We hardly speak to each other anyway. I still love him and think sometimes of us getting back together but I don't want to initate anything since I don't know how he feels. I'm also a bit pissed off at being blocked for no reason -- sometimes I want to ask him straight out why he is doing this or change my IM name to "blocked" to show him I know what's going on. Has anyone experienced a similar situation? Help!
Lizzie60 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Please please.. don't waste your time and energy on this guy. My question is... why is he going to all this trouble of blocking and unblocking me? Who cares? Move on.. don't check on him.. don't try to read things where there is nothing to read... don't imagine him coming back... come on.. We hardly speak to each other anyway. I still love him and think sometimes of us getting back together but I don't want to initate anything since I don't know how he feels. I'm also a bit pissed off at being blocked for no reason -- sometimes I want to ask him straight out why he is doing this or change my IM name to "blocked" to show him I know what's going on. You sound very insecure and somewhat like a 'doormat'... come on.. leave him alone... don't mind his stupid games... be smart and independant. Don't talk to him.. don't even look up his account... get a life of your own... I assume that you're very young.. I was very insecure too when I was younger... it takes times but you got to work on yourself.
sally4sara Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 He is doing this so when his girlfriend questions him, he can say "Oh that psycho-don't worry about it. I blocked her a long while back". Plus that way you won't ever contact him when she is home to find whatever message you've sent sitting on his desktop. And then unblocks you when she isn't around in the hopes you will contact him..... But you probably already suspected this right? Heres the thing. If she is real scary smart, SHE is the one unblocking you (or he doesn't block you and she does) hoping you will say something that indicates what the nature of your friendship with her BF is. He puts you back on the block when he realizes it was changed. Lets just hope its actually him and not her pretending to be him when you are chatting.
Author blocked Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Thanks for the feedback. To clarify, I know that his girlfriend is no longer int he country. She moved back to where she's from so he is living alone now....so I don't think it's because of her that he is blocking me. I suspect that he is afraid of getting closer to me again. it's one thing to speak to me briefly while we are both at work, and another thing to talk to me a night when he may be lonely. But, since he doesn't really talk to me at all...I'm wondering if he is waiting for me to talk to him. I have already spoken to him twice already so, even though it's been pleasant (albeit very vague), I don't know if I should do it again. I think I am at a point where I am ready to try to feel happy for him, but I do want to see if we can be friends (or more).
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Could you explain why an Ex BF is even on your IM list to begin with ?.. How many other Ex's are on your list ? Also... Why haven't you just blocked and deleted him ?.. then you wouldn't see him unblock you and you would have peace of mind
Author blocked Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 We didnt' have a bad breakup and I am still very fond of him. I'm wondering if this is a sign of him trying to open the lines of communication....
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 We didnt' have a bad breakup and I am still very fond of him. I'm wondering if this is a sign of him trying to open the lines of communication.... If you had blocked him then you would have peace of mind and been moving on.. It seems you still have feelings for him.. 2 people cannot be friends if one still has romantic feelings for the other.. You need to give yourself more time.. months.. without talking to him.. why not block him ?
Author blocked Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 I have been using another account for a year, so it's the same as blocking him. My conclusion is, throughout this year I have had a lot of time to reflect on the situation, and I believe I want him back. What should I do (or not do)?
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I have been using another account for a year, so it's the same as blocking him. My conclusion is, throughout this year I have had a lot of time to reflect on the situation, and I believe I want him back. What should I do (or not do)? Then why not get online on the other account and when he unblocks you then say Hi to him and see where it goes ?.. I have always been in favor of following the heart till it hurts to much too.
Author blocked Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Hmm..that's what i have been doing. He said hi the first time and we talked for a bit. This was before Christmas. Since then I have initiated conversation twice. He hasn't initiated conversation since the first time but he continues to block and unblock me everyday. Should I just not talk to him and wait for him to talk to me?
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Hmm..that's what i have been doing. He said hi the first time and we talked for a bit. This was before Christmas. Since then I have initiated conversation twice. He hasn't initiated conversation since the first time but he continues to block and unblock me everyday. Should I just not talk to him and wait for him to talk to me? Are you sure he isn't just logging in and out of different id's instead of blocking and unblocking you ? If he logs in on one id and then changes his id to another it would look like he unblocked and then blocked you... He also might be trying to get you to IM him.. kinda like knocking on a door. I think you should try one more time and IM him and if nothing comes of it then move on...
Author blocked Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 He is blocking me for sure. I have friends who have him on their accounts...
Kamille Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 He is blocking me for sure. I have friends who have him on their accounts... Maybe it's a matter of the settings on his home computer versus his work computer?
Author blocked Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 I know this is starting to make me look borderline obsessive, but o well. I thought that could be the case but I checked with MSN and they said that's not possible. The latest settings are always automatically updated on the MSN server, no matter what version of MSN you are using.
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 He is blocking me for sure. I have friends who have him on their accounts... You are spending too much time figuring this out.... It is going to drive you up a wall.. I would suggest that you make a play for him and if that doesn't pan out then move on.
Author blocked Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 UPDATE: I left him alone for a few months, and now I found out he broke up with the girlfriend. I truly realize that I love this guy. What's the best way to get in touch with him again? I haven't been on the msn account often, but I know he has still blocked me. Is it better to wait things out andn see if we bump into each other or write him?
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 UPDATE: I left him alone for a few months, and now I found out he broke up with the girlfriend. I truly realize that I love this guy. What's the best way to get in touch with him again? I haven't been on the msn account often, but I know he has still blocked me. Is it better to wait things out andn see if we bump into each other or write him? Aren't you unblocked during the day? If so, IM him. Better yet, call him.
Author blocked Posted June 25, 2008 Author Posted June 25, 2008 I haven't been on that MSN account and he has reblocked me. Should I give him more time? I sense that he is not over his recent breakup.
v33 Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 We didnt' have a bad breakup and I am still very fond of him. I'm wondering if this is a sign of him trying to open the lines of communication.... Huh, what? You might be fond of him but he doesn't seem very fond of you. A sign of him opening the lines of communication would be calling you or writing you a letter or coming to find you. Man, I hate this IM, facebook, myspace, internet crap being a substitute for people actually communicating. It's so easy to block and unblock you, and who knows why he does it. Just the fact that the does this over and over indicates that the is incredibly immature and cannot communicate in a personal and honest fashion. And you are playing right into it. Delete him already.
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