Lucky555 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Why do some guys play games? The guy that i had asked about that i was fond of seems to have been playing a game with me. One minute hes into me and the next he is not. Games why play them? My problem is i am too nice and too caring. I am easily manipulated because i wear my heart on my sleeve. Its chances that i take until i find the right one i guess.
mortensorchid Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Why do guys play games? Because they can. When you encounter someone like this LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK. All they will do is play with your emotions and make you crazy.
clueless24 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 i hate it that guys play those games to confuse and disrupt your emotions. i really liked this guy and i did everything he asked me to and was very receptive to his needs and feelings. he would give me subtle hints that he liked me but he was very insensitive to my feelings and my efforts. at first i did not care because i felt happy that he at least was enjoying my company. i am very much like you, i show people that i care and i envision only the best of them and is often too acceptance of flaws. i am not perfect and do not expect anyone else to be perfect, but i have come to realize now that i have done too much and lack of appreciation has diminished my feelings. i absolutely understand how it feels to like someone and to have him take advantage of that feeling. yet you can't forget or even dislike him because you hope it's going to be better. i told myself to suck it up too, but eventually i became too disappointed and though i know i still think about him, i have distanced myself and stepped away from the scene. to my surprise he is attempting to move closer to me, is actually concern that i am not in class or not feeling well. he texts and and calls everyday to make conversation. i guess guys are just immature and don't know how to deal with their feelings appropriately (we are in our mid 20s). sorry i didn't mean to ramble, but to end, i guess my advise to you is just to step away from it and see how he reacts. don't put too much effort into someone just to get yourself hurt. let him do the initiating and chasing, that way he appreciates you more.
D-Lish Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 People will only play games with you if YOU let them. The best way to stop a guy who is being hot and cold with you is to pull back and keep him at arms length. You set a precedence when you allow someone to manipulate you. Games are designed to test people. He is testing you right now.... seeing how you respond to his behaviour. When he pushes and pulls- and he remain available to him... you are letting him know you don't respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself. You can be a nice person without allowing yourself to be manipulated and walked all over. If he plays cold- ignore him right back. If he comes calling again.... don't immediately allow him back into your bubble. You can still be kind and caring... but if he pulls a stunt or treats you poorly- that is the time to take action and stand up for yourself. Otherwise, all you are telling him is that he can treat you any way he wants and you will still be there. He needs to know- through your actions- that the only way he gets a positive response from you is when he is treating you with respect. You can be nice without being a doormat.... you really can.
Cad Rake Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Um, why are you assuming he's playing a game? Maybe sometimes he's into you and sometimes not. Women get that way with men, and men get that way with women. I always find it humorous when women think that if a guy isn't always into them he's "playing" or "pretending" that he's not interested. Maybe he's just NOT THAT INTO YOU.
spookie Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Maybe he's just NOT THAT INTO YOU. This may be true, but it becomes a game as soon as there's an element of leading on involved.
Cad Rake Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Only if it's intentional. Maybe he just swings back and forth. The "leading on" would be entirely unintentional. Been done to me aplenty and I've done it to girls with no intention to play games. When you're KINDA INTO someone you send mixed signals and if they're into you then they're often "led on."
NineGirl Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 the thing i have noticed about SOME guys is that they like a bit of a chase... as you said, you wear your heart on your sleeves, which is not entirely a horrible thing but you need to learn to hide some of those feelings away. Your should read the book "why men marry Bitches" it says a lot about the mentality of both men and women, and what their really thinking when it comes to first impressions, dating ETC
Cad Rake Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I read both Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches and it was 100% bass-ackwards. Men Love Beautiful Women. Period. Yes if they have no self esteem and seem like they're desperate, sure it's a turn off. But men don't like a "chase." It's insulting. Do women like a "chase?" Hell no, they're insulted too if a guy plays hard to get. And they should be. People, believe it or not, like other people who clearly show they like them back. Once it hits desperation, then there are problems. Let's nip this "men love a chase" in the bud. Maybe some do, but I bet if you surveyed 10,000 men, a good 80% of them would say they like a woman who shows she's attracted to the guy. Those who run away are seldom caught.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Well actually i know hes into me now, he gets really jealous when i talk about other guys and from our conversations its obvious. but he is Trying to manipulate and control the situation. All this time i have been very caring, really just getting along great with him. However, hes just trying to maintain control of his feelings and everything. I feel as though if i keep talking to this guy that I will be unavailable emotionally to someone else. Which i see that i have not been able to meet other guys with an open heart because hes in the back of my mind so I am probably sending the wrong signals to people. There is a stranger that i am interested in but i can't get the nerve to make even eye contact and thats when i know that i had to do something instead of letting time pass. I have severed ties, when you have feelings for someone and you wear your heart on your sleeve it really takes a lot distance yourself, but i have done this since i have first posted about this. And people have been really great at helping me understand these things because when emotions are tied into this its hard to actually see what is happening. Yes i too believe that it is a test, i have taken enough tests in my life i dont want one in a relationship. lol I have been told to read the book "why men love bitches" actually! Maybe i should this is about the 5th time i have heard it. I don't think its really becoming mean to guys i think it just strengthens our hearts to deal with the bs they throw out and to weed out the good from bad i hope.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 "All they will do is play with your emotions and make you crazy." Yes thats about all it comes down to.
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Well actually i know hes into me now, he gets really jealous when i talk about other guys and from our conversations its obvious. but he is Trying to manipulate and control the situation. All this time i have been very caring, really just getting along great with him. However, hes just trying to maintain control of his feelings and everything. How do you know this?
Author Lucky555 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 i know that he is being maniplulative because hes playing the yo yo game. Its just best i sever ties. No matter what hes not ready and i know why now. its because he wants to be free and detached to do what he needs to do. He is fairly busy and has things going on to focus on right now. Hes not with anyone else, and i know he likes me but i dont live on false hope. So i am not angry just not the right time.
Kamille Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Why would you want to get involved with someone you think is already using emotions to be manipulative? I would be running the other way as fast as I could. Rule number one of dating: choose wisely.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 3, 2008 Author Posted February 3, 2008 "circular argument" Yes, i agree 100% and i have told him this. Its all it ever is with him. And no i should not be with someone who uses my emotions to be manipulative. I have not been speaking to him or contacting him. I have tried to keep things civil so now "disappearing act" is what i have done.
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