hesmyworld44 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 (edited) Hi everyone. Basically i have been with my bf since we were teenagers. We started dating at age 14, went to highschool and broke up a couple of times. Mainly because he dealt with the commitment issue different than i did. When we broke up he would talk to other girls, in fact we stopped talking for a whole year in our second year of highschool( i decided he needed his time alone without me). We then ended up talking again a year after and all was fine for a year, until i had discovered he was talking to some girl behind my back, and it bothered me he didnt tell me about it. No hes never cheated, and the times we broke up neither of us dated other people. Just talked to other people and etc..The last time we went through that stuff was last year of highschool. Now we are in our second year of college. But we have been through a lot of things, and i love him to death hes great, very smart, we have the same goals and plans, very respectful, doesnt cheat etc. Our familys really respect our relationship and get along. I feel like hes my soulmate. I feel very comfortable with him, couldnt imagine being with anyone else. I really look forward to getting married with him,moving out, finishing school, traveling, kids down the road etc. I dont pressure him about it at all, i mean i bring it up as so does he. Like i said we really share a lot of goals and plans together. But what i feel now is FEAR. I fear that us being together for so long, is gonna affect us down the road? Like maybe hes gonna tell me one day he never enjoyed other things because we had alway sbeen serious.. idk.. yesterday he said to me he felt uncomfortable, like something was missing. I said missing in our relationship, and he said that wasnt it at all. I guess he meant in life in general.. But it still got me thinking.. Im wondering maybe deep down were both kind of freaked out a little. Were now adults and dealing with adult issues. Having the whole conversations about our lifes together. I mean ive always been 100 percent sure hes the one for me, no doubts ever. But even i myself feel a little scared because this is all new to me. I just thought about it lastnight. Maybe i should let him go.. I mean maybe its for the best. I mean the thought of it kills me, and makes my heart feel torn. But maybe i should just tell him we should take a break. Let him have his time right now for himself, so when we do marry hes not left feeling like he didnt have it? hes never asked that from me, everytime ive asked that he says he has no doubts he wants to marry me and he loves me etc.. But i just dont want to be selfish here. Not for me, but for him. I want him to be with me being sure about it, and not having to look back( not that im saying he does) but what if he does along the road? that would hurt so bad. I feel so confused rightnow, i feel like cryng my eyes out just thinking about this. We have grown up with eachother, not only that together sharing the same things,wanting the same thing. I dont know if i should just let him breathe, let him be.. and if we were meant to be we can be together again. I mean is this worth doing? or is it dumb to consider that when your head over heels for someone, and dont imagine your life without them. I mean if we have been together for so long, we sure have managed to be in love,faithful, and never get tired of eachother really good. But what if that catches up to us? especially him. Men r always different. I just dont want to rob him of his youth what should i do? any opinions. from anyone please. Id appreciate it. Thanks Edited January 31, 2008 by hesmyworld44
Mistaken Identity Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 We always take the risk of being hurt when we love someone. What if you tell him he can date other girls and he leaves you for one of them? Would it be better for him to do that now instead of later? Wouldn't it be just as painful?
Maxi Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Its true that he may some day down the track feel like he missed out on stuff... but think of the things he has gained and experienced that not many other people have. He got to grow up with the person he loves! He would know so much about you and your histroy that not many people can when they get married... I mean he has had so many good and bad experiences with you! I have mates that have broken up with their gf's for the fact that they were really serious and worried that they were missing out on stuff by being with their gf... and you know what.. that ALL regret doing it! I think you should stop worrying about it! Enjoy and be focused on being happy with eachother today and every day that follows! It will all work itself out when the time is right! I think that breaking up "for him" would be the worst thing that you could do for him!
ahah2322 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 omg, i am going through the exact same thing as you. have been with my bf for 3yrs plus and i'm currently 18 while he's 19. we're in the midst of our youth and gosh, it seems like we should have so much more going on in our life... is it suppose to be this comfortable? are we missing out on something? oh gosh, i'm experiencing the exact same thing...
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