Radil Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Well I got involved with someone who was one of my best friends. We fell in love with each other. The problem, she was still splitting from her ex. They have financial ties so it was making it difficult for her to kill it completely. Their relationship is no more but she wasn't putting anything into ours. I know she loves me but I couldn't sit around and deal with a part-time relationship. It was killing me. Not only am I losing someone I love but I am losing my best friend also. She wants to be friends but I told her I cannot because I need to heal. If I continue talking to her I will just be in agony. From what I am reading here it seems the NC is the only way to go to deal with this. It inspires me to see people get past this and I cannot wait until the day I will feel better. I told her when she is ready to commit to me fully and her other relationship issues are done I would try again. I don't know if I will feel the same then but I do love her. I hope she respects my wishes and doesn't try to contact me because that will only make this transition worse.
Snap22 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Hi, I can really understand where your coming from. My ex was my best friend for 8 years (we were a couple for 4). He broke my heart and left me for someone else, he said he still wated to be close friends but has made no effort since the break up to do so. NC is the way forward! It's brutal for the first week or so but it does get so much easier. It allows you to get through the days without just wanting to hear thier voice and find out how thier day went. As the days and weeks go by, you will start to feel so much better and you'll realise that there is a life away from your ex. There are people that care about you loads and plenty of good times ahead. I had to go NC for my own sanity and it has been the best thing I have done. Try explaining to your ex that you need to collect your thoughts and you may be able to initiate contact at a later stage BUT ONLY WHEN YOUR READY. Good Luck x
Frankie24 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 its always difficult when starting a relationship with a best friend more than often they never work out i hope you can salvage something out of it and good on you for trying to sort it out
Author Radil Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 This was really hard for me to do because I know she loves me in some weird way. Because of her ex I really never would call her. She would always call me. So I hope she realizes that I am not going to be there to stroke her ego while she goes through her split with him. I guess sometimes people have to lose something to realize how good it was. I don't know if I can ever be friends with her again......time will tell.
ANGUISHEDandBROKEN Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 That sucks..... Almost everybody loses 2 in 1 In your case she was your best friend before, in other cases they become throught the relationship..... Breakups hurt very bad.... I have had people go away for dirtnaps....but I know ill be there with them one day too.... But to lose someone you care for and know theyre still around but with someone else having the privelige of having them just bites like a bitch..... Life sucks sometimes but thats just the way it is....
Author Radil Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 yeah this NC is going to be tough with her because she always calls me. I don't want to be a jerk and ignore her but I guess I have no choice.
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