ballyhoo Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 M and I were dating each other for 9 months - we were close. i then decided to snap it. she was looking at long term and I was not sure. she was also very ambitious. not that i don't dig ambitious women. i just silently went away, no explanation, no answers. i always felt inadequate around her, she intimidated me. i don't know if someone will understand this. she tried calling a few times but i didnt take her calls. i did miss her but maybe not as much as she missed me. friends told me that she was in a bad shape though she never spoke about it to anyone when they tried to probe. one fine morning, after 3 months since we last spoke, she came to my loft. infact a friend literally dragged her or so it seemed. it was a holiday and i was spending time with some cousins from philly. she looked very frail and had lost weight. does it make me a devil to think and somewhere also be happy that a pretty dame could love me so much. i rememeber thinking on those lines. we spoke for about an hour where i made it very clear to her that i dont want to talk to her again and that it was anyway difficult for me to forget her (partially true) and i dont want to risk getting into an emotional attachment with her again. she wanted us to be friends and i firmly refused any such proposal. its been 10 months to that day and she has never called again or tried to contact me. not even on b'day/christmas/newyear. i saw her at the mall a month back and she seemed her normal self. even chirpy. i have been seeing someone else since, i don't know about her. should i call her, to know whats up? did she ever love me anyway?
Nemo Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 She's banging somebody else, now. Time for you to move on.
StartingOver07 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 M and I were dating each other for 9 months - we were close. i then decided to snap it. she was looking at long term and I was not sure. she was also very ambitious. not that i don't dig ambitious women. i just silently went away, no explanation, no answers. i always felt inadequate around her, she intimidated me. i don't know if someone will understand this. she tried calling a few times but i didnt take her calls. i did miss her but maybe not as much as she missed me. friends told me that she was in a bad shape though she never spoke about it to anyone when they tried to probe. You behaved badly with this woman. Feeling insecure is no excuse for disregarding someone else's feelings, especially not someone who you were in a close r/s with for 9 months. Have you resolved the issues that made you behave as you did? If not, why would you contact her again? It's irrelevant whether she ever loved you. You clearly did not love her.
Author ballyhoo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 lets say I want her back! maybe! how can i go about it?
StartingOver07 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 lets say I want her back! maybe! how can i go about it? Sorry, I can't/won't help you here unless you know that you want her back and aren't going to walk out on her again. What you did was awful. I can only imagine her pain and confusion to be just... left... no explanation and not even the courtesy to take her calls! It's bad enough when this happens after a couple of dates but you were together for 9 months! Do you really want her or are you just unhappy because she appears to have moved on? What is your motivation here?
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 lets say I want her back! maybe! how can i go about it? YOU DON'T DESERVE HER. You screwed up royally. You allowed your insecurities to kill any affections you had for each other. She may have done all she could to keep/get you back but you were too scared and prideful. Waste some one else's time. Find a mousy little lady that's needy and shack up. You don't deserve a confident woman.
Mistaken Identity Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Reverse the situation. How would you have felt? She's probably spent countless hours agonizing over what went wrong. Your behavior was cruel.
Jilly Bean Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 What are you rolling and lighting up over there? You DUMPED her with no explanation, no reason, and behaved so cowardly that you wouldn't even take her calls. Then, you got off on seeing she was in pain from the break-up. Now that she is happy, over you, and probably seeing someone better, you want her back? Sheesh. Why do I feel like this thread is really Cad Rake?
Author ballyhoo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 i might have been wrong though i had very good reasons then. i saw her the other day and i don't want to continue n/c while at the same time i don't want to call her. will she act pricey? i see it coming.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Having been in a relationship for 9 months and everything seems fine , and for the other party to just leave is hard to grasp. Im sure she was pretty distraught because she didnt know if you were injured or hurt. If you thought the relationship wasnt going well, you should have at least given her the benefit of the doubt and told her. But like they say What goes around , come around!!! and Karma is definately a B*tch!!!! So when you seen later on down the road were you surprised that she moved on with her life and was happy about life and relationships again. Do yourself a favor and stop feeding your male ego and leave her alone. Dont call her, dont email her, Nothing! Let it go
Author ballyhoo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 What is your motivation here? startingover, no hidden motive! just want to have her back as a friend. i'm seeing someone already though i don't see us longterm. i'm not looking forward to getting back with M. she must have a boyfriend herself. as far as the disappearing act is concerned, thats the only way i know. i hate confrontations.
Replicant Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 M and I were dating each other for 9 months - we were close. i then decided to snap it. There obviously is motivation behind this nonsense. Otherwise you would have not turned your back on such a person in such a disgustingly cold manner. Maybe she did care for you, maybe not...Either way the answer to that is not something you deserve to ever know. Nor does she owe you anything of the sort. Do you want both sides of the ego boost? Knowing she cared to possibly wear her down to the point of illness. Yet caring enough, she could carry on past the insecurities of yours only to have you turn your back on her. If you cared about her none of the above would have existed. Knowingly you allowed such an outcome, now suffer the consequences for such behavior. Simple as that.
Lucasarts Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 ballyhoo you're retarded or something is not right, up where your brain is. YOU BROKE IT OFF, YOU WANTED NO CONTACT, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH HER, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SEE HER EVER AGAIN, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER. Do you see where this is going? Also WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE HER? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR WITH SOMEONE ELSE? AND WOULD YOUR G/F APPROVE? (Although I don't think you really would care if she did or didn't either way) And why do you want to be friends with her again all of a sudden? I think you saw her and realized how good and happy she looked and that attracted you (you probably still have some lingering feelings for her in your loins that you need to get out) But you know what? I'm getting tired of people asking questions that are completely selfish and arrogant to the point of them looking stupid. So go ahead and make contact with her, if it will make you and your lil pal feel better, then go do it. I'm sure your ex would love to take you back as a friend after the way you guys left on such good terms. I'm sure she'll understand why you want to be friends with her all of a sudden after you told her that you didn't want to see her face again 10 months ago. Yeah, I think everything will work out and you'll be a happy man with a very destructive love life.
Nemo Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Chances are she's not talking to you because the guy she's presently boning has a larger member. I'm just saying.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 What is your motivation here? as far as the disappearing act is concerned, thats the only way i know. i hate confrontations. If thats the only way you know how to get rid of a relationship then you are in for some rude awakenings!!!! Your lucky she isnt the type who would have demanded an closure. Your lucky she isnt the type who would destruct all your possessions. Your lucky she only called you a couple of times and thats it, instead of calling you night and day! Your lucky she isnt a stalker! Your LUCKY!!!! for those reasons.
reliance Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 You treated her like ***** and now you want her back?? I dont think you have a right to even think about getting her back. Sorry if this sounds harsh but she deserves a lot better than you.
StartingOver07 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 What is your motivation here? startingover, no hidden motive! just want to have her back as a friend. i'm seeing someone already though i don't see us longterm. i'm not looking forward to getting back with M. she must have a boyfriend herself. as far as the disappearing act is concerned, thats the only way i know. i hate confrontations. Well, honestly, why would she want to be your friend?
thewholeshabangg Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 i would definitely have to agree with the other posters.. you suck. that has happened to me before and it makes the person feel worthless! if you cared at all about her, you wouldn't have done that. and you wouldn't be wanting her back now.. you always want what you cant have... please give her what you didn't before, and leave her be.
Mistaken Identity Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 A better question is did you ever love her? By the way, are you an American? Some of your words are odd...
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