johnmmm Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 iv been going out with my girlfriend for over 3 years now, just before christmas she broke up with me for about 4 or 5 weeks, i did the NC thing and after a while she started phoning and emailing me until we ended up getting back together. we have been back now about 1 month. while we where split up i started going out a lot to bar and clubs with friends, before we split up i would have always went out with her, while i was out and about when we were split i started to notice other girls, and constantly had friends tell me that girls where checking me out also (hope i don't sound big headed when i say that), i never looked at any another girls while i was with her before we split and never noticed other girls looking at me. while we were broke up i started to think about all the stuff that annoyed me about her and since we have gotten back i having relay been totally happy, i feel she is very emotionally immature, can be extremely selfish, is a bit of a commitment phoebic and also can run hot and cold, she can almost be like two different people which is very annoying. again, while i was with her before the break up i didn't notice this that much and if i did it didn't get to me as much as it is now. i feel rely insecure in this relationship at the minute, it feels like it could end at anytime for any resin. ill give an example of how unstable it is at the minute. about a week ago we had a fall out about something silly while on msn, at the end of the conversation she said she didn't think we were going to work out, i didn't even answer her and just got up and went out, she phoned me about an hour later upset and crying and asking were i was and why i didn't answer her, i told her that i knew that if i had kept talking to her that she would have said something she would have regretted and if she had of split up with me that i definitely would not have went back this time. she kept apologizing and saying she was confused and didn't know what to do. i know that if she had have broken up with me she would have been trying to get me back a few days later. i do not know if i can handily this anymore, i doint want to split up with her but if she dos not get it together i doint think i will have any other choice. i relay am stating to think that she may need professional help with some of her issues but i doint know how to get her to go get help and i am starting to question if it is worth all the hart ak. need help with this if you can please.
heartoutside Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 I"m kind of in the same boat. My ex knows she wants to be with me and knows that we are amazing together. (So I guess the only difference is we don't fight). We got back together for about 2 or 3 weeks and then she said she needs to figure herself out. Which is true. I knew that before we got back together and knew that she should get help before we got back together, but I didn't listen to myself (and others) and just jumped back into the relationship. If you think she needs help, that's fine. But she needs to think and know she needs help as well and want to get it! My ex knows she needs help, but just isn't ready to open that can of worms right now (she goes to school full time and works 20 hours a week, so she's already overloaded as it is!). The stand I'm taking right now with her is giving her her space, and at the same time being supportive. If she wants to talk I talk, and I check in every once and a while. But at the same time, I'm trying to move on with my own thing. I'm not ready to date anyone knew. As much as I want too. I too need to focus on myself for a little while and get my "act" back together and basically back to where I was before she and I started dating...only this time, only better. But I'm not sure about your situation. My ex is my best friend and I'm her best friend....but in the end that might not mean a thing!?
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