Author konfuzd Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 I find it interesting to see the varied responses to this. Thanks for all the opinions. He is 24 and I'm 27, so there is a bit of the age/maturity gap, which I've noticed on a few occasions, but typically I just roll my eyes and move on. I definately plan on talking to him further about this, in person and I guess his response will ultimately determine whether it is in fact a deal breaker. I don't think it was his intent to hurt me, when we are together, we act more like buddies than bf/gf which I think led him to believe something like this was okay, since he sent it to other people. I know he and his ex are really good friends still. He is currently living in a really small town, similar to the one I grew up in, so I understand the need to keep close with his ex. There is a lack of people his age in his town, so he only has 3-4 close friends who are in the same circle, so he can't really get away from her even if he wanted to. As for the other girl, I don't know who she is, but I will ask about her for sure.
Author konfuzd Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 That's funny. I can picture one of my exes doing this, but he really had unresolved issues with his ex, who dumped him because she wanted to experience being with other guys. That's exactly the way these two broke up. I do wonder if maybe it was sent it a harmful way, not to me, but to her to prove that he is getting attention from other girls.
MakeLemonade Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 It certainly seems like a strange thing to do, but may not be as bad as it sounds like it COULD be. This other guy, on the mail list, that you are good friends with - did you ask him about it at all? Get his take? Maybe see if your guy has done things that are strange in this vein before? I wouldn't necessarily say it's a deal breaker, but I would certainly ask the questions about the ex, the other girl, etc.
BentSpine Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 A mature, self respecting guy wouldnt take a picture like that AND SEND IT TO A COUPLE OF PEOPLE just because....I agree. A mature guy would have at least had five recipients. It's a de facto deal breaker because you cannot take his humour without judging if it's appropriate or not. There would have been hope had you asked him if that was the best joke he could come up with?
Author konfuzd Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 The picture isn't the problem here. I can see the humour in it, if he were to send it to me, and maybe his male friends... Kinda creepy, not my style of humour, but not an issue. The problem is the ex and the other girl who got the picture. I don't think that's acceptable by any stretch of the imagination.
Author konfuzd Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 I decided to drop the issue until he came down to visit, but out of the blue he sent an apology by e-mail. He said he realized that some things are funny in his head, but in reality may be hurtful to others and he'll try to be more respectful to me in the future.
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