THE THRONE Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 And don't ask closed questions. You need to ask open ended questions that require her to give specifics.
Author alano7 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 open or closed questions draw the same response which is a blank simple and therefore easily repeated denial.although she has stopped telling me that the latest call to him was a practical joke ! It's only a question of how much was going on not " if ".I think. Sex has resumed, friendship has resumed, affection has resumed, making the effort has resumed.Conversation has resumed.Is it genuine? only time will tell !!In the meantime my private investigations continue.I am as you can tell unsure.
THE THRONE Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 open or closed questions draw the same response which is a blank simple and therefore easily repeated denial. You must not know how to ask them, you should let THE THRONE ask her the questions as he will get the truth from her. although she has stopped telling me that the latest call to him was a practical joke ! It's only a question of how much was going on not " if ".I think. Sex has resumed, friendship has resumed, affection has resumed, making the effort has resumed.Conversation has resumed.Is it genuine? only time will tell !!In the meantime my private investigations continue.I am as you can tell unsure. It will resume for a bit, and as soon as you let your guard down or she feels that itch she'll do it again.
Author alano7 Posted March 7, 2008 Author Posted March 7, 2008 I have just discovered that the guy phoned my wife's mobile over 70 times in one month -- at a time when she told me that they did not speak !! I kept digging and found out. Wife now says it was just a friendship !!!! Admits to it being "inappropriate "--one way of putting it !!!
SoHotZanzibar Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I have just discovered that the guy phoned my wife's mobile over 70 times in one month -- at a time when she told me that they did not speak !! I kept digging and found out. Wife now says it was just a friendship !!!! Admits to it being "inappropriate "--one way of putting it !!! We have a spy shop in our town. You can buy little bugs to put in phones, etc. And record everything. I would do it if I were you Then, post the conversations on a website so we can listen!
american-woman Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I have just discovered that the guy phoned my wife's mobile over 70 times in one month -- at a time when she told me that they did not speak !! I kept digging and found out. Wife now says it was just a friendship !!!! Admits to it being "inappropriate "--one way of putting it !!! If shes hiding it from you. Its not JUST A FRIENDSHIP.
shanny Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 If she wasn't hiding anything she would let you check her phone. Her excuses are lame... faulty battery? Does she think you were born yesterday? It sounds like she is up to no good.
twice_shy Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 I will try to keep to the facts and not add any opinions .On my wife's day off she sent a text to a neighbour who was at work himself saying" In.just woken up". I asked 2 days later did she ever text the neighbour? She said " no". I said let's check the phone .She went crazy that i didn't trust her threw the phone accross the room and threatened that it was all over if i checked up on her. Yup, she is lying. No doubt about it. 2 days later I told her about the text. She was not mad just said it must have been a mistake.I asked whether the realtionship was more than it should be.She said "no".I asked whether he had responded to the text either by phone or text or just mentioned it in passing. She says he has not. 3 days later she made a call to his mobile from home at 10.10 p.m. whilst I was in a hotel away on business.Only 18 seconds long. On her next day off her mobile was turned off for 3 hours . Then it came on and i chatted for 15 minutes.When i asked why was her mobile off she said "low battery". "How then did you speak to me for 15 minutes on it? "She said it's a faulty battery. She wasn't at home and wasn't near a charger. The neighbour used to , annoyingly to me anyway, pop up every day almost .At the door , or come out if my wife especially was outside. We live in a courtyard environment.Since these calls his appearences have fallen dramatically.My wife agrees that this is the case. Do you think she has more than a neighbourly relationship with this guy? Oh ya, she is up to no good. an 18 second long phone call at 10:10 at night, followed by the phone being off after that. Sounds like that quick 18 second call was her asking, "do you want to come over?" I'd say she is cheating. Her defensiveness tells me so. If a SO out of the blue said that to me and wanted to check my phone, I'd say, "here you go". Once she finds that there is nothing there and I have nothing to hide, then I'd express my displeasure about her not trusting me. But I wouldn't get defensive about it and say we are through and throw the phone across the room. She got defensive because she has something to hide. And lo and behold, she ends up calling him at night when you are gone. yes, I'd say she is cheating.
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 Kick her ass to the curb. If she can't open up her phone and show you every call she's made and explain it, she's hiding something. Get rid of her soon.
Rooster_DAR Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 People who have nothing to hide and truly care about you will not show reactions like this (unless you have trust issues). This is the typical behavior of a cheater, they will lie and make excuses till the cows come home. Be careful,
Author alano7 Posted March 8, 2008 Author Posted March 8, 2008 he admits to pestering my wife with lots and lots of phone calls but that he was just having problems of his own. He says she asked him to stop more than once. I put this to my wife---"did he discuss problems with you" or " did he have any problems".She said "no " !! As the last post said lies and lies and excuses galore !!
chica_de_londres Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I have just discovered that the guy phoned my wife's mobile over 70 times in one month Oh my word, that's an average of more than two phone calls a day... Is the neighbour married as well? BTW, if he really was calling her against her will and she did tell him to stop, don't you think she would have let you know that the neighbour was pestering her? I reckon you'd have been the first person to know if he was stalking your wife. Is she still trying to convince you that nothing happened between them?
Darth Vader Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I will try to keep to the facts and not add any opinions .On my wife's day off she sent a text to a neighbour who was at work himself saying" In.just woken up". I asked 2 days later did she ever text the neighbour? She said " no". I said let's check the phone .She went crazy that i didn't trust her threw the phone accross the room and threatened that it was all over if i checked up on her. 2 days later I told her about the text. She was not mad just said it must have been a mistake.I asked whether the realtionship was more than it should be.She said "no".I asked whether he had responded to the text either by phone or text or just mentioned it in passing. She says he has not. 3 days later she made a call to his mobile from home at 10.10 p.m. whilst I was in a hotel away on business.Only 18 seconds long. On her next day off her mobile was turned off for 3 hours . Then it came on and i chatted for 15 minutes.When i asked why was her mobile off she said "low battery". "How then did you speak to me for 15 minutes on it? "She said it's a faulty battery. She wasn't at home and wasn't near a charger. The neighbour used to , annoyingly to me anyway, pop up every day almost .At the door , or come out if my wife especially was outside. We live in a courtyard environment.Since these calls his appearences have fallen dramatically.My wife agrees that this is the case. Do you think she has more than a neighbourly relationship with this guy? I say that she's riding the neighbor! Gather your evidence and contact a good lawyer!
Darth Vader Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 She went crazy about him wanting to check her phone. If she had nothing to hide she would have explained its meaning, not THROWING the phone. Come on. In my opinion, whether he's a jealous man or not, she is hiding SOMETHING. I agree, anger is an admition to guilt in many of these cases. As far as an 18 sec. call goes, it's just enough time to say "come on over, he's gone"!
Darth Vader Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 open or closed questions draw the same response which is a blank simple and therefore easily repeated denial.although she has stopped telling me that the latest call to him was a practical joke ! It's only a question of how much was going on not " if ".I think. Sex has resumed, friendship has resumed, affection has resumed, making the effort has resumed.Conversation has resumed.Is it genuine? only time will tell !!In the meantime my private investigations continue.I am as you can tell unsure. This tells me, (if there is an affair going on) that they are laying low for right now, but, it will resume when they feel that it's safe to continue! When it does resume, it'll be underground. They're gonna cover their tracks better now. I suggest that you get a good keylogger, just to cover the computer part of this!
Darth Vader Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 I have just discovered that the guy phoned my wife's mobile over 70 times in one month -- at a time when she told me that they did not speak !! I kept digging and found out. Wife now says it was just a friendship !!!! Admits to it being "inappropriate "--one way of putting it !!! 100% of ALL cheaters say this! Don't you dare let her project the blame onto you for her affair!
Darth Vader Posted March 8, 2008 Posted March 8, 2008 he admits to pestering my wife with lots and lots of phone calls but that he was just having problems of his own. He says she asked him to stop more than once. I put this to my wife---"did he discuss problems with you" or " did he have any problems".She said "no " !! As the last post said lies and lies and excuses galore !! More gaslighting! How much longer are you going to let this go on? Seriously.
Author alano7 Posted March 9, 2008 Author Posted March 9, 2008 Sadly the only things that she has admitted to are those things that I have factually proven. After each disclosure I ask " is that it " and each time I am told " yes". Until the next time that is !!! I have spoken to him and he is genuinely tearfully remorseful and his wife is fully aware and has thanked me for bringing it into the open.She will support and continue her marriage to him because of family her beliefs and because she wants and needs and loves him . This guy is a church going halo polishing super helpful" nice "guy. The type of guy who isn't my type of guy.I do believe that my wife allowed this little actually quite unattractive nylon trousered tank top polished shoe individual to become infatuated with her and she enjoyed the attention and so long as she got something out of it then hang the consequences for anybody else.She scrambled his brain because he will never have had the attention of anyone like my wife before and that will have been an ego trip for her. The records show that he called her on some days as much as 10 times.My car being absent trigered calls plus days off etc etc.She went along with all behind my back. From the records she squezed in calls from him between our family meals our family holidays our lovemaking our every moment.And then was able to look me in the eye without a moments hesitation. She was bloody brilliant !! Perhaps the worst thing is the fact that I discovered this 3 months ago and have been through hell which she was all too willing to allow me to go through rather than dent her own publicly projected persona of perfect wife mother employee neighbour friend which she has always worked so hard on and was more important to her than me--clearly. The neighbour confessed within minutes of his wife confronting him.He is now telling the truth while my wife--well who knows--I'm not even sure she does. As a postscript !! SEX ! well who knows? He immediately brought his leave of absence records home to prove to his wife that he never took time off or time out to meet my wife.He works in a secure facility so these are likely to be accurate.With 5 young children between us and full time jobs the opportunities for sex will have been few but will have existed. I'll never know and will sometimes believe that they didn't and other times believe that they did.The fact is she isn't the person I thought she was to have screwed me and exposed our children to the trauma of break up over an extended period--perhaps years !!She admits to over a year.Thats a big lie !!!!!! Anyway thanks for listening -- anyone want her mobile number :)
City_girl Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 All sounds a bit unusual to me. I have learnt something in life and that's if it doesn't make sense it's because it's a lie. Fantasic quote.... Yeah she's up to no good, you can see it you know it but you don't want to believe it, naturally. You love her If I were cheating or intending to, I would wrestle you like a tiger to get that phone away from you. If I were innocent I would go out of my way to prove it to you providing as the other posters have said it wasn't a regular occourance.... You have a hard road ahead of you IMHO, such a shame if it's true, will never understand how people can do that to someone else
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 (edited) I also think she is beautiful even tho she isn't !! Well nothing says I love you like staying with some one you don't think is really that nice looking to Begin with? Um maybe shes picked up on the fact deep down you think shes ugly and decided to find some one who doesn't think this way? I don't get this so you think shes pretty or not? Sounds to me like maybe your not really overly happy and you have stayed with this women out of desperation in a way no offense meant. Women can eventually pick up on that after the hole honeymoon affect has worn off and it dose cause resentment. Edited March 9, 2008 by SpanksTheMonkey
Darth Vader Posted March 9, 2008 Posted March 9, 2008 I would get more info from the neighbors wife, she's more likely to cue you in on stuff that might help explain some of the recent activities. I would also share what you have with neighbor wife too. That way if one of them is lying, you'll know.
Author alano7 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 His wife and I are exchanging info. My wife is telling me things on the proviso that one more lie about the past and it is all over.It may be all over anyway but reconciliation is possible.He is also telling me things and I am crosss checking. Only when know all the truth can reconciliation have a real chance. i guess if there were no kids then we would split over this but we have and they are more important. My wife says she is very much in love with me and can't believe what she has done .Should I believe this or is she just trying to keep the family together ?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I can tell you as a child of a divorced home that it doesn't help if the parents are miserable but still staying together for the kids or for what ever reason. Please only stay together if there is some honest chance of putting it all behind you and really burying the hatchet with each other. Sure the divorce was hard but the constant bitterness and hostile living environment is what I now as a adult remember more. Just something to think about ether way your more then likely going to have to move out of that house and away from him I would think to truly get a fresh start.
witabix Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I can tell you as a child of a divorced home that it doesn't help if the parents are miserable but still staying together for the kids or for what ever reason. My children would back that up, they have told me the same. You seem to be hanging on to something that is slipping away, can you let it go? The brief pain maybe better than a long agonising period of doubt and uncertainty.
twice_shy Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 he admits to pestering my wife with lots and lots of phone calls but that he was just having problems of his own. He says she asked him to stop more than once. I put this to my wife---"did he discuss problems with you" or " did he have any problems".She said "no " !! As the last post said lies and lies and excuses galore !! You can believe that is a load of BS. If it was just a matter of him having his own issues and pestering your wife, you're wife would have been up front about it. Looks like he is helping your wife get out of the doghouse with you and is making it look like nothing is going on between them. If some crazy woman kept calling my cell phone, you better believe I'd be letting my girlfriend know about it!
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