mortensorchid Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Here is a story about someone I was with for a very brief time about a year ago. It left me thinking that I screwed things up for a while, but I realized it wasn't so. First, the story ... I met this guy on line last year. We went out a few times, I met some of his friends (few as they were), and had a good time with them. Then he told me something about himself that put me off a bit. He told me he had some kind of personality disorder that he had been hospitalized for, as in psychiatricly hospitalized for. I was a little warry after hearing this, but I told him that I too see a shrink for my daily struggles, and we all have problems. He asked if I was considering breaking things off because of this, I said no but I would have to think about it for a while. For the next few days I didn't talk to him. I was busy doing other things and didn't get around to returning calls. I checked my voice mail one night and found that he had left an angry message saying "I would appreciate it if you took the time out to call me back sometime!". That really put me off. I called him back and said I was sorry I didn't call him because I'd been doing other things for the last few days. Then, I invited him over. Every Sunday I have a get together with three guy friends. In the summers we have a barbeque at my one friend's house, in the winter we move it over to mine and I make dinner. I invited him over for dinner with the three friends. He seemed relaxed and chatty with them. Later on, the three friends chided me because I had put him into a strange situation - They would feel a little strange if a gal they had just started seeing invited them over to have dinner with three other guys. They would wonder "What's this all about? One woman and three men?". As it turns out, so did he. The next day he called and broke it off. I said if that was the way he felt then I wasn't going to argue. And, that was that. At least, I thought ... Out of nowhere, I get an email from him 6 months later. He said he thought of me the other day and thought he would drop me a line. He said he regretted the fact that he had broken things off the way he did, he said he was plagued with guilt about it. I asked him why he choose to break things off. He said when he came over that night he felt like this was my world and he didn't fit into it. Plus, I was sitting around smoking cigarettes with them. I told him that I smoked, but I never happened to smoke around him all the other times I was around him. And he couldn't be with someone who smoked. And then, we were talking about things he couldn't comprehend (politics, gossip, etc.). And he felt I wasn't right for him and decided to break things off. But, he said, he wanted us to be friends. I was naturally wary about this. I go to his MySpace page, and I see him with his girlfriend on the photo spread. "This was taken on our engagement day". WTF?!?!? He meets and gets engaged to another woman within weeks of breaking it off with me?!? Weirdo. Was I stupid or what to give this guy a chance after telling me he had been hospitalized for boarderline personality disorder? I was moreso angry about being rejected rather than really being hurt. I felt like a real jerk, but then again I realized he was a bit of a loser too.
Cad Rake Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 You basically treated him like dirt after he told you about his personality problem. If somebody tells you something like that and you don't call him back, then you're not interested. He got mad because he was afraid you were no longer interested in him, which apparently you weren't. To add insult to injury you then invited him over with a bunch of other guys, in effect telling him "Dude, I'm sooooo not interested in you." How would you feel if he invited you over with 3 other girls? Not too good. So you blew him off. Big whoop. You're not interested. Quit torturing him and move on.
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