brlewis22 Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Hello everyone...I am knew to this forum but would like to share my story and get advise. Well I met this guy at work when I was in a rotation. I always said I would never date anyone at work but I fell for him. We were together 3 months and I broke up with him. This man swept me off my feet and I fell in love with him-32 yrs and his 9 yr old son that he has custody of. Now let me share alittle about myself. I am going to be 26 in march was married to a man for 7 years that I had my 2 daughters with. My ex husband was abusive physically but mainly emotionally. It is honestly amazing that I never killed myself after everything he put me through. In order to protect my kids I finally got out of it and endured an ugly divorce that last 2 years. Lucky for me we live in seperate states. I have never sought any type of therapy for the abusive I endured and have really done fine taking care of myself and my kids. Until I fell in love. Our divorces were very similar with different states being involved. We just clicked and it was an unlikely match. He is a redneck lineman and I am a high maintenced city girl. He has all the qualities and the stability that I desire. This is the thing when I fell for him it opened up a whole other world of emotions that I have never felt. I felt vulnerable and became very insecure...to the point that I was so scared of getting hurt so I pushed him away. He has been dealing with alot of family issues and instead of allowing his space and time to deal with them I though it had to do with me and broke up with him. I had regret right away and cried non stop. I didn't beg for him back but wrote him a letter telling him how scared I was, and that I know I made a huge mistake but have to work on myself. I said I don't want anyone but him and to not let me go. I know pathetic but honest. Anyways...It has been 2 weeks since we broke up. I have talked to him several times since then and he just ended up confusing the hell out of me. He told my friend that we were not together but that we are friends and that I need to relax when it comes to me and him. His son asked him when I could come over again and he stated " When she earns her way back into my good graces." He was joking but there was probably some truth behind it. Well we talked all weekend but he said he wasn't ready to see me. It has been 3 days since I talked to him and I filled my schedule up with time to see my friends this weekend. Then when I was really not expecting his call...wham! He called me this evening. I didn't answer the first time then called my friend, he then called again but left no messages. I finally called him back and he said he had been trying to get ahold of me for 2 days. He called my work phone today to see if I wanted to have lunch bc He was at my office.(I was gone though.) Then he starts telling me about how he is depressed from dealing with so much and but I realized he was talking about me but would not say it! So I was little miss smart ass and told him " O I know u miss me! I am to damn irresistable! He laughed and said that was true. The he turned the subject to us. He told me he didn't like my call tone for him( Kelli Picklers "red high heels"). The he went on to the fact that I am use to drama bc of my marriage and he knows this bc he has been there.(I am use to drama) He is just at a point that he doesn't want the drama. He misses me bc we had so much fun. I asked him if we would like to meet and talk and he said he didn't know. I assured him that I would not have sex with him, he told me that he would not resist if I tried. I don't want to do that though. I am not going to play games. I love this man...I know its only been 3 months but I do. He says he is so scared to let me in, but I also told him that if he is just wanting to be friends, that I cannot give that to him right now bc I would have to take the time to get over him. He told me he doesn't know what he wants. What should I do from here? Wait on him to call me and set up a time to meet and continue to give him his space? I want this man back. I know I am what he needs and he is what I need. He understands me. How long do I wait and do u think there is hope for us?
Author brlewis22 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 O by the way I am seeking help for my issues. I am finally getting counseling and reading alot and truely doing some soul searching because I realize now that whether I am with him or anyone else I will make the same mistakes and need to work on me.
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