underpants Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Have you made the heart out of Legos yet? I liked the idea of seeing him on Wednesday and enjoying the early part of Valentines Day with him. Let him know that you made long term plans for that evening with your friend. I don't see how it would be a problem as long as he is aware of your time schedule on that day. Just talk to him about it and work out a compromise that suits everyone.
tanbark813 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Chicks before dicks, hon. Attitudes like that hurt romantic relationships. Would you want your bf to prioritize his guy friends over you?
Jilly Bean Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Attitudes like that hurt romantic relationships. Would you want your bf to prioritize his guy friends over you? If he had pre-existing plans with a friend, why would I expect him to break those plans for me?
tanbark813 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 If he had pre-existing plans with a friend, why would I expect him to break those plans for me? I don't know, that's a different question. But "chicks before dicks" implies that the bf should always be second best. People just shoot themselves in the foot when they adopt attitudes like that.
Jilly Bean Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 (edited) I don't know, that's a different question. But "chicks before dicks" implies that the bf should always be second best. People just shoot themselves in the foot when they adopt attitudes like that. It was a quick answer to her question of breaking existing plans with her BFF as opposed to blowing her off to spend time with the new BF. I just think friendship outweighs a new relationship. Particularly when one has previous plans. This had nothing to do with shooting herself in the foot, but in honoring a commitment. If her BF tweaked to the point that he breaks up with her because she "shot herself in the foot" as you said, by choosing her existing plans with a friend, then I am sure it would be a whole other thread, and everyone would pigpile that he was being needy and unreasonable. When you first start dating someone, it is understood that there is a transition period where each party will have existing plans that need to be honored. Ultimately, most friendships outlive our relationships, and that needs to be considered. No one likes the friend who gets a new BF/GF and then starts breaking plans all over the place. Edited January 30, 2008 by Jilly Bean
tanbark813 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 If her BF tweaked to the point that he breaks up with her because "shot herself in the foot" as you said, by choosing her existing plans with a friend I didn't say choosing the existing plans would be shooting herself in the foot. I said adopting a rule of always placing a relationship below your friends would be. It sounded like that's what you were advocating. I agree that there's a transition period but I also think it's dangerous to rationalize things like "My friends will always be around but bf's/gf's come and go." And yeah, maybe they do, but entering into a relationship with that kind of mentality kind of sets it up for failure. It's almost like saying, "Well it's only temporary so why bother?" But this is getting on a tangent.
climbergirl Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 New relationships (not to mention long term) need nurturing and compromise. I think most friends would understand the need to do that. Especially that day. While I agree with you and your attitude about V'day...it seems important to him. If you want it to work with him, I'd say compromise. I think he's trying to tell you how he feels about you.
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