jlbora Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Last night my best friends boyfriend died. He was 23 years old and while he was wide awake- his heart just stopped and he had died before he arrived at the hospital. I didn't know him well, but my friend is really upset- understandably. I have never had to be in this situation where I have to console a friend. And I am really afraid that I will make lame jokes and say something about my boyfriend and end up making it worse. Im a good person and l really like to think Im a great friend, but Im going to visit her tomorrow for a day or two, and I dont know what I should do or say..Please help me find the words.
klee Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I have never been in your exact position, but just being there for her is going to help. Just be natural and listen to her and hug her. I am so sorry to hear of her loss. You are a good friend for going to be with her now. Don't worry about what you say exactly to her as long as you have good intentions behind it.
Meaplus3 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Last night my best friends boyfriend died. He was 23 years old and while he was wide awake- his heart just stopped and he had died before he arrived at the hospital. I didn't know him well, but my friend is really upset- understandably. I have never had to be in this situation where I have to console a friend. And I am really afraid that I will make lame jokes and say something about my boyfriend and end up making it worse. Im a good person and l really like to think Im a great friend, but Im going to visit her tomorrow for a day or two, and I dont know what I should do or say..Please help me find the words. I'm very sorry to hear of your friend's lose.Gosh... that's such a young age. I would simply tell her how sorry you are for her lose..mostly just be a shoulder for her to cry on....and a good friend who will listen to her. Best wishes. AP:)
Lyssa Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 You don't really have to say anything, just be there for her. Hold her hand, if you do feel the need to talk - it's never wrong to talk about her loss - it will help her. My best friend (Sandra; she's here next to me so I was FORCED to write her name!!) did just that when I lost my mother. It helped me a lot. I am sorry for your loss and it is very kind of you to ask how you should go about, that shows that you really care for your friend. Take care!
Ronni_W Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 It is lovely that you are going to spend some time with her. God bless you. I would suggest that you be honest -- sort of, "I want to be here for you but I'm not sure how to do that for what you need, so please feel free to let me know." Ask how she's feeling, if she wants to talk, what she wants to talk about, etc. And it is perfectly okay to just companion her in silence, too. If you say something that, upon reflection sounds lame or insensitive, acknowledge it -- something like, "Sorry, that came out wrong" is all that's needed to show that you care and are trying to be compassionate. Mostly just let her talk and cry and freak out and go silent. You don't have to "do" anything, or try to make her "feel better". Just let her feel your presence (rather than 'hear' you, if that makes sense?) May Angels be with you, your friend, and her b/f's family.
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