carhill Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Thank you...at least not EVERYBODY on this discussion board is a total cynic! Hey, I want my MC to work too. Optimists unite! Seriously, that's the beauty of the community; a diversity of experience and perspective.
JustBreathe Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 You're right, you shouldn't divorce without giving it all you have. Maybe I'm jaded, but there are alot of people here who have been there and done that. Maybe it's not gloom and doom but merely responses to your initial post which was along the lines of should you go into an open marriage. Asked and answered, that's all. I wish you the best of luck in repairing your marriage, I wish we could have repaired ours. Maybe she has truly come to her senses and you will forgive her, who knows, and most of us will be proven wrong. I hope so.
Owl Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 People don't do ANYTHING for "no reason". People change for two reasons...either the change moves them closer to something they want, or it moves them farther away from something they don't like. Your wife goes on a weekend "getaway" and comes home changed. What was the catalyst? What happened this weekend that gave her that "epiphany"? SOMETHING triggered the change...have you asked her what, SPECIFICALLY...caused her to change? I think that there's more to this than you've been told.
mental_traveller Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 Her friend told her the whole thing was stupid and that she ran the risk of losing me to someone else. I'm not bragging but I'm a pretty decent looking guy with a very high income. My wife is currently enjoying a very comfortable life style. I seriously doubt I'd have a problem with life 2.0 if it came down to that. Part of our post trip discussion confirmed that she knew there was very little chance of her doing better on the open market. This says it all. The only reason she is staying with you is because you earn good money and provide a cushy lifestyle without her having to lift a finger, and she knows as a divorced ageing woman she is not exactly going to be deluged with marriage offers that would compete with the security and luxury she gets now. It's nothing to do with loving you - people don't change their emotions and do a 180 flip that quickly. She is just saying that because her friends told her to wake the hell up or risk losing you
MarriedLife Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 I don't think it's unreasonable to give her a chance to prove that she really is trying to resolve this. What's the point of bailing now? I'm curious after all is said and done will YOU start to re-evaluate and get the itch? Really look at yourself as a true catch, and then begin to look at your spouse as not being worthy of you? I see this happening. A light going off in your head, your wife realizing what she triggered in you and the reverse occurs: You realizing you want the variety and realizing it is indeed a man's world. Sorry ladies but once I guy builds his confidence his whole world changes. And if he's a confident good guy who will give the right woman the support, security and stability most women are looking for? Look out! I weep for your wife's future... ;-)
TMCM Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 This says it all. The only reason she is staying with you is because you earn good money and provide a cushy lifestyle without her having to lift a finger, and she knows as a divorced ageing woman she is not exactly going to be deluged with marriage offers that would compete with the security and luxury she gets now. It's nothing to do with loving you - people don't change their emotions and do a 180 flip that quickly. She is just saying that because her friends told her to wake the hell up or risk losing you While that MAY be true we are not there to witness their past and present interactions and thus we are woefully ignorant as to the true value of their marriage. Love between spouses is conditional and selfishness is present in differing degrees in all marriages. Personally, I'd rather have a marriage where my wife feels safe in confessing to me her deepest thoughts and feelings even if they are of a dark nature such as the desire to have sex with other men. This is true intimacy and instead of penalizing a spouse for it we should encourage it. To do otherwise we end up creating the kind of environment that makes affairs possible.
burning 4 revenge Posted March 1, 2008 Posted March 1, 2008 HAhahahahahahaha:laugh:pen marriagehahahahahaa:lmao:....
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