Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I am feeling okay, considering it's my first birthday without him. I haven't spent a birthday without him in 8 years. I wonder if he realizes it's my special day and if he cares? Part of me doubts he cares because he hasn't acted like he could give two sh*ts since the beginning. He's posting RUDE crap on myspace (I am not his friend on myspace and we are both private but I can see his qoute and mood) His mood is romantic and his quote says, "I have never been happier in my life than I am now." Those words hurt me worse than anything in the world. I know I shouldn't look but... It's a slap in the face and I just don't understand how he could possibly be that happy after being such a d****bag to me. How could he be such an @ss and not care that it hurts me when he posts stuff like that. He knows I look. I don't post anything like that on mine and I feel like it's a silly little game. It makes me sick. Anywho, not the point of my post but I went on a rant for a minute. I just want today to be the first day of the rest of my life. I want to get over what has happened and move. I am using this new age, new year (2008), new beginning as a fresh start! I hope I can just start fresh, move on, and stop caring about him and his happiness and start focusing on mine. I hope I can get through today without crying and without caring that at 12 AM when it's over...he probably won't have called or texted and I will be OKAY.
ElvenPriestess Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Happy b-day Confused!:):bunny::) Take pride in that you are starting out on your new path, one that doesn't include some one who isn't healthy for you. It's a hard thing to do, star over, and you're on your way. HUGS and B-DAY CAKE (if I could give you one in person I would)
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Happy Birthday! May you have the courage to be happy!
marlena Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I just want today to be the first day of the rest of my life. I want to get over what has happened and move. Happy Birthday, dear. If you really want to get over what has happened, a good starter would be to not check his Myspace.
base618 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Bit of a different take on today... it's my STBXW's birthday. She's living with the OM, so I'm guessing they have a nice night out planned (same for V-Day coming up). Funny thing is, I *finally* got through to her that I want no-contact... been 10 days with absolutely no contact, and I get an inane email about the patio furniture this morning (her birthday). Don't know why she keeps trying to keep lines of communication open. Myspace definately adds a new wrinkle to divorce. My page was always public, no real info, just a place to put jumping pics. She had created a page to look at his (checked IE history). I still don't put quotes, or anything mean, but I make sure to put pictures of recent adventures I've had, and I've added (3) friends that are pretty hot. Don't know if that bothers her or not. I know she looks at it, but I'm going to keep it friendly and not post anything about us on there.
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks for the birthday wishes. I am really trying to get over him. I just love torchuring myself with the myspace bullcrap! As for me...I HAVE to get through this. I have to get over him. I NEED to move on...so...on I go.
sandflea Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Happy Birthday! Go out and get something nice - just for you - and send us the bill. But, I agree, MySpace is part of NC. Stop torturing yourself.
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 I hear you Base, he contacts me for stupid reasons too. The other day he text messaged me from his friends phone...whatever...I didn't respond to him...just the friend who said, 'I didn't text anyone'. These people don't even know me or my number. They are 1,000's of miles away. There is no way it wasn't him...but I just let it go. I doubt I will hear from him today and that kills me, but I need to push through. As far as I know...he loves this OW. He is saying he does...so what good does it do to worry about whether or not it's true. He left. so...I need to move on. It hurts like h*ll though. I hate myspace. IT's evil. I need to stop looking but I can't. He's an @ss for posting that. I think it's to bother me and because he isn't happy so he wants to pretend to be. But, that's just my thoughts on the whole thing. Whatever helps me sleep at night I guess?
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 What's your address Sandflea? I will send you the bill for a nice new Coach bag!!!!! Say, 400.00 bucks?
sandflea Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 What's your address Sandflea? I will send you the bill for a nice new Coach bag!!!!! Say, 400.00 bucks? Grab a matching pair of pumps... Seriously, do something indulgent for yourself. Go get a massage, take yourself out to a nice cafe, do something kind for yourself. You deserve it - IT's YOUR BIRTHDAY! Cheer up! Do any of your friends know?
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 My 3 best girlfriends are taking me to dinner tonight and then SAturday night I am having a get together at my apartment and we are going to drink and have fun! To answer your question...yes, my friends know. I wouldn't have made it through without them. They have been great. I actualyl met a boy on Friday night and we smooched. First kiss with someone besides my x in 7 years. It was VERY strange but good. He called me that night and then again the next night...so I am hoping this will help me take my mind of the x. I am not looking for anything serious...but it's been almost 4 months...I guess I am sort of ready to at least date. Not like my x who is in a full blown relationship and has been since before we even broke up! UGH!
KenzieAbsolutely Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 you just happen to be another year old today. what does that have to do with your ex? it's your day. celebrate you.
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 I guess it's more that I am not with him to celebrate. 27 was the year I was suppossed to get married, etc. etc. You're right though...LET HIM GO ALREADY!!!!!!! : )
klee Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 alles gut zum Geburtstag! or Happy Birthday! Sorry you are so down today! Have some cake and ice cream!
stampdaddy Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Happy Birthday girl!.. Tomorrow is mine.. Let's get together and throw down.... We'll be OK...
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 alles gut zum Geburtstag! or Happy Birthday! Sorry you are so down today! Have some cake and ice cream! Thanks!!!! I like the way you say happy birthday. Is that German?
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Happy Birthday girl!.. Tomorrow is mine.. Let's get together and throw down.... We'll be OK... I would love to Stamp daddy!!! We'll have a blast. And yes, we'll be OKAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!!!!!
klee Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks!!!! I like the way you say happy birthday. Is that German? ja, auf deutsch! danke!
MakeLemonade Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Happy Birthday! Try not to the think about the ex - start some new traditions! Have fun! 4 Months is not very long considering how long you were together, it will only get better. Also - YES - stop with the myspace torture. It takes you two steps back every time you look. I speak from experience.
Bummed&Hurt Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Confused9, Pretty weird. It's my birthday today also. I've read many of your posts and can relate to the pain. I am also spending the first birthday without my wife. I will however have my kids around me tonight which will help. Hang in there and Happy Birthday.
PinkRibbon Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! This must be the week mine is Friday and my first without him in 7 years. Happy Birthday to everyone! So eats lots of cake and ice cream. Enjoy your day and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!!!!!
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Confused9, Pretty weird. It's my birthday today also. I've read many of your posts and can relate to the pain. I am also spending the first birthday without my wife. I will however have my kids around me tonight which will help. Hang in there and Happy Birthday. Happy birthday bummed. I am glad you have your kids around! That is great. Take care of yourself. We can get through this without them!!!
Author Confused9 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks for the birthday wishes pixie, pinkribbon (happy birthday to you soon as well), & Makelemonade. Suprisingly I feel good today. Better than I expected. Let's hope it continues!!! I am hopng I will be okay not hearing from him. I am not expecting it...but I have a feeling it will make me really sad if I don't.
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