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Posted

Hi all

I had a LDR with a girl who I met last summer. We saw eachother a few times during 2007, but I instantly made it clear for her, that I wasn't looking for a relationship since I found out from experience that LDR doesn't work for me. She was fine with this telling me that she also wasn't looking for anything serious. We had a great time together, sex was great and we generally enjoyed eachothers company. I was going to visit her over X-mas but fell sick. We both knew that it was probably over from then. She told me that she tried not to get emotionally involved with me, but that she actually had become quite fond of me, and it hurt her a lot knowing that she wasn't going to see me again.

Since we didn't have a relationship, there is no official breaking up. However, I still feel pretty bad even though I played with open cards all the way. I still care about this girl, I just don't see it going any further than it did. I haven't heard from her for a month now. Is there anything I can say to help her or are things just better left unsaid ?

Posted

She's trying to get over you, and there for contacting her would make it harder on her. So I advise against that.

 

The fact that you guys were having sex with no relationship, is probably a big reason why she felt attached. It would have more likely been better off to not have sex, as many women get emotionally involved at that point.

Posted

The reason you feel guilty for hurting her is because you started to feel something for her too. It's very challenging for most people to become intimate with another person while not getting emotionally involved.

 

If you truly see no future together with her, then NC is the right thing to do.

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