hayati Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Here's a few conclusions I've made about couples breaking up: The girl usually has a rough go but she cries and cries and deals with her pain. Girls usually do move on a lil faster only because they fix themselves first. A guy usually will take much longer to figure things out and won't deal with his crap until much later. That's why us guys will try to get her back a year later or two or three or more! I think that if you love someone deeply, you always do. You can't shut off feelings. And for those girls who ignore the pleas us guys make a year or two down the line when we finally do figure out we want you back..........make sure you are ignoring us because you want nothing to do with us, not because you put some kind of wall up. You can blame the first break up on bad timing, and when he came back to you, you can also blame that on bad timing........but the day you realize that you do love him, it will be too late, there will be no time left!
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I agree. I had a great love years ago and he came back weeks later with an engagement ring. Over 18 years later, I still think of him. I love him, but am not in love with him. I do realize now that we had a great love and that's wonderful. He just got married and I am entering divorce (bad timing?). Either way, if I've fallen in love before, I will again - I just hope it's with someone who really loves me and just doesn't want me for a possession. And yes, men process the reality much later than women, want to know why? Because during the relationship, women try everything they can to make the man more of what she is wanting. She'll be patient and wait, until one day, she just says's "What am I doing?" He will never give me what I want. And then we bail. Men, like status quo and think, "if it's not broken, why fix it." When all the while every relationship is WIP (work in progress). If something isn't moving forward, it can die (like a shark). So, men are devastated when it's over and sulk during the first year of separation. While the women is out there living her life as best she can. Bad timing.
sandflea Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Generally speaking, I think guys practice avoidance when it comes to the WORK of relationships. Instead of listening in subtle ways, they assume that things are hunky dory, and therefore get blind-sided when a woman decides to move on. With most guys, there's probably also an air of stubborness to the process as well. The much-cliche'd 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' goes into this process quite a bit, and I tend to agree with what it says. Women communicate in more subtle ways - and if a guy isn't tuned into that process then he's setting himself up for a rude awakening.
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