Lucky555 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Recently i have been talking to a guy that we have a lot of things in common because i have known him for over a year. However i have noticed that he does not initiate contact. i have been wanting to see where this goes but it seems obvious to me that hes keeping me at arms length. I have been keeping it casual myself. I also know that he does not live on his own he lives with his parents. I think this might cause a problem with him asking me out but i am not sure. I find myself not being able to move on and look elsewhere because i have become very fond of this guy. Should i forget about this
EYECANDY000 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 you have just met him, dont give up on him yet. See where it goes and feel him out a little bit. As far as you only contacting him, have you brought it to his attention?
samamelia Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I personally see red flags! Could it be he is not taking the initiative because he is otherwise involved??? Maybe he has laid the groundwork for a new relationship but is otherwise unable to fulfill that obligation...I say don't chase him...if he doesn't initiate contact with you, you stop making it with him...He'll come around if he is available and interested...Maybe he is pyscologically testing you...maybe he wants to see what lengths you'll go to keep in contact with him...I don't know why, but men do love to chase women...it becomes a game of how low will she go when women are chasing men... Think about it, be blessed
Author Lucky555 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 so how long should i give him? He is getting his own place soon should i wait and hope or leave it alone?
Jilly Bean Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 If you have known him for over a year, and he does not initiate contact and has not asked you out, then yes, I would say he considers you a friend and not a romantic possibility. Go find a new dude who will return your affections and interest. Life's too short to pine...
Author Lucky555 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 well it was just recently that we started talking on a casual level for at least once a week for about three weeks now. Thanks Jilly bean. I know i am basically thinking so yeah thanks. I am able to fully move on before i get in too deep so to speak and not have him reciprocate would be awful.
Jilly Bean Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 You know Lucky, sometimes when you detach yourself from a projected outcome, thats when things really happen. Weird how it works out. Im not saying if you give up on him he will chase you, but he may. In the meantime, I still it would be best to move on. If its meant to be with him, emotionally distancing yourself wont change his intentions.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 Yeah, i am not going to contact him anymore if he wants to he can. If i am already fond of him i would just be setting myself up for disappointment if he just considers me as someone to kill time with or whatever so thanks yeah definitely opening my eyes and meeting new ones again well trying at least
Star Gazer Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 If you have known him for over a year, and he does not initiate contact and has not asked you out, then yes, I would say he considers you a friend and not a romantic possibility. Go find a new dude who will return your affections and interest. Life's too short to pine... You know Lucky, sometimes when you detach yourself from a projected outcome, thats when things really happen. Weird how it works out. Im not saying if you give up on him he will chase you, but he may. In the meantime, I still it would be best to move on. If its meant to be with him, emotionally distancing yourself wont change his intentions. Again, I agree with Jilly. (I'm beginning to think I should just blanketly agree with *almost* everything you say, JB. )
Author Lucky555 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 thanks stargazer. I actually have been dwelling with the idea that maybe i didn't give him enough time because he did not have his own place but as u all say i should not wait. Its so wonderful when you connect with someone and i have not been able to do this for a long time and when i finally did it was like wow i really like this guy finally. Apparently finally is not final after all yeah i am not going to contact him. No matter what he has the ball in his court if he wants to pursue something. In the mean time i am going to pick myself back up and find things to do I recently have found a very attractive guy but i am sooo shy however i will have to work on this if i want something good.
reliance Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I dont think him living with his family would stop him asking you out....
Author Lucky555 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 yeah hes def. out of the picture now
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