cant let go Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 ok... i'm a mess right now. who am i kidding? i'm not over my ex at all. I thought i was doing well... i WAS doing well. What the heck is going on today? It's my own damn fault for having a one-on-one lunch with him today. I really thought it would be easy. We've had conversations plenty of times. but we never before talked about her. it was like the brutal reality of it all slapped me in the face midday and i'm still feeling the whiplash. how can it still be going on between them? how is she making him happy? augh!!!! i don't even want him back i just don't want HER to have him. i don't want HER to be happy. believe me, i really want him to find happiness but i find it so hard to believe that this is real. may god strike me with lightening the next time i even THINK about contacting him again. i cannot wait to move. only 1 more month and i am out of here. i have decided that even though i told him that we would be friends, i am going to cut all contact with him as soon as i get out of this town. truth is that nothing has changed at all, i just no longer have my distraction to keep me from getting so emotional over my ex. the guy that i really liked just kinda dropped me and now i feel completely alone again. i was hoping it would last long enough to get me out of here but of course it ends. my ex rebounds day 1 into a new relationship that is apparently so strong at 4 months that whereever he ends up moving to in the next month or so, she will ultimately follow. wtf. i meet a guy and it lasts barely 3 weeks!!! i didn't want a relationship but DAMN! This life sucks! I need a new one!
katty774 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I can relate. I just wanted to tell you that you will have good days and bad days. I keep going back and forth. My ex is also in a rs and seems to be happy. I won't bore you with the details, you can check out my old post. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. It is hard to hear about their new life. I would cut off all contact and give yourself time to heal.
Square_1 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 After few months of TOTAL no contact you will begin to start getting some clarity about things. After a few more months...you start to "flip", and start to realize WHY your not together anymore an HOW it may not be such a bad thing afterall. Not to say it doesn't still hurt...it will...but less and less as time goes on. It is a hard journey, and the first 3-4 months are hard...but it does get easier, as long as you have TOTAL no contact. Remember....no new contact=no new hurt. Good luck sweetie! S1
FLOWERYSTARS Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Any rejection after being still unhealed brings all the pain back. The new guy probably realised you were not really ready for something new yet. Distractions can be useful, but, you really need to heal rather than just distract yourself, so it is probably a good thing this guy disappeared so you could start on some healing. Moving away will be really good, but you dont have to wait until then to stop contact with him. It rarely works out that people can be friends immediately after a break up. It doesnt matter what you said to him about friendship. It is more likely you will be friends again if you get over him.
Author cant let go Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 thanks everybody. despite my need to vent on here sometimes... i really do have my $hit together. my ex and i are on really good terms. we are very very supportive and caring of each other and our friendship is one of the most treasured things in my life and i believe he feels the same way. we truly are like two souls that just *click* when we are together and and can't for the life of me believe that he doesn't feel this connection between us. it's not just that we have a history together. i really truly believe that we were meant to be very influential parts of each other's lives. that being said. i feel that my ex is learning and growing and discovering himself and his potential. i love him to death, i adore him, i won't say that i idolize him, but i am truly proud of the person that he is and i will support him in everything he feels he needs to be happy. he knows that the way that he broke things off with me was wrong and he is truly sorry for it. i am the only person he has ever broken up with in his life and he had a really hard time doing it. he has never meant to hurt me and although he was very cold to me in order to enforce the breakup, he truly cares about me but just felt i wasn't the match that he envisioned for a marriage. contact with him does not hurt me. being friends with him isn't what hurts me. but what it does do is keep me in love with him. i have accepted things but i just cannot seem to stop loving him completely. it would hurt us both if we cut all contact from each other but i know that it is the only way to go. however, i will not be enforcing any nc until i have moved away from him. i will give him a proper goodbye and i will let him know fully my intentions with nc. the part that i have issues with, the part that i "can't let go" of at this point is the betrayal i feel from his current girlfriend. i cannot and will not forgive her and i will never speak to her again. honestly, she isn't really seeking forgiveness and she is perfectly fine with me not speaking to her. he, on the other hand, is filled with guilt and feels it is his fault that her and i aren't friends. i don't actually feel that i really lost much because she was never that great of a person in my eyes. i just really can't stand for her to have all the happiness in the future that i thought i would always have with him. i think he is WAY too good for someone like her and i really think i could be happier for him if it was someone else. as far as the new guy. that had nothing to do with whether or not i was healed. in fact... it was all his own issues that caused that one to end and had nothing to do with me at all. he wasn't over his ex but needed someone to have feelings for to keep him distracted. he liked me but he can't be alone and i lived too far away so he met someone else that lives in the same city. i'm actually okay with it ending. i was just angry contrasting it to the fact that my ex's not-so-rebound is still going strong. thanks for the replies ... i appreciate all the encouragement
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