Phoenix11 Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Long story short....met guy online...chatted up a storm for months...had a few dates...he did some creepy things..(oh well...don't we all at some point)....got past the weirdness...."rocked each other's world"....now I want more....but pace is too slow for me. We are both busy professionals, but some how I seem to be able to make time for him, where his attempts seem weak and half hearted. We don't live close to each other, so our main method of communicating is via IM. He is not a "phone person". Anyway, when he is done with work, it's usually past 9:30 and past my bed time (I'm an early riser). To make matters worse...he dosen't have a cell phone...truely..(he hates them). Dosen't have caller ID, so he let's his answering machine picks up all his calls to screen. Only has one house phone, which is the orginal first cordless phone ever made in the 80's by AT&T, which has the most horrible reception every time we talk, (not to mention this phone is huge, shaped like a brick and weighs a friggin ton). He has a computer at home, but it's not connected to the internet. Yes, he is a very frugal and nerdy (what can I say...he's a wolf in sheep's clothing) OK...I digress here...my point being...having regular, ongoing communication with him is a challenge! I am sorta sure he digs me just as much as I dig him. He told me he stopped visiting the online dating sites since we began seeing each other, and he has for the most part....(hehe I checked). He use to check everyday, but since we started dating only once on each site. We are at a point where I think he is feeling confident in the relationship and doesn't feel the need to chase or apply himself. (I like the chase) I have become what I have hated most in my previous relatlionships...a needy person....constantly seeking reinforcement from him that his feelings hasn't changed and continue to grow strong. Maybe I am confusing my fustration with love? Maybe I yearn to be in love? Maybe because he said it first, I want to believe it. I have thought about ending all contact with him, because clearly I am all screwed up in the head at the moment.
shockandawed Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Phoenix, Hey.. I know it is late here in the midwest but I can't make sense of what you are saying here, lol.. slow down and take a deep breath. Let me get this straight, this is the same guy that you were worried about going too fast..now you are concerned that it is going too slow? Believe me, the beginning of relationships can cause all kinds of feelings and insecurities. I have my own issues brewing right now myself. From what you are saying, he doesn't appear to be giving you anything to be insecure about. Take a breath and allow this to unfold naturally. It sounds like you might have something if you allow it to develop. Whatever happened to the Nutty Professor???
Jilly Bean Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Pho - is this the guy who wanted to sleep over on the first date and you were annoyed by that? How many dates have you had with him? From your postings, it seems like about three or so, if this is the same guy? Two things - wasnt it about two weeks between date one and date two? So, wouldnt this pattern just be continuing? Like this is your established dynamic? I caution you from thinking you are in love. I'm not sure thats valid after three dates. Infatuated, sure. Also, he *may* have just pursued you long and hard enough until he got in your pants. Not saying thats whats happening, but it could be, and be prepared for that to play out. And if you think he feels confident in a "relationship" after a few dates so he is no longer applying himself, then I have to think it was about him getting you in bed. Sorry to say... A man shouldn't lose interest that quickly, and if he does, then it was all an illusion anyhow.
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