Meg1221 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I have a huge problem right now. I am married. My husband recently set up a myspace account. Not only does he refuse to add me as a "friend", but he has his profile set to private. I noticed he had 2 single women as his "friends". I expressed my discomfort with this, as he was searching for single women in our area. He claimed he wasn't doing anything wrong, hasn't done anything wrong, etc. I found an email he traded back and forth with a single lady who lives quite close to us. he said that he "would love to meet her." and for her to email him with a good time for this to occur. His email address was a new yahoo account that I knew nothing about. he still claims he did nothing wrong and that I am giong off half cocked. I think this way - he's married - the mere act of searching for single women is completely and utterly wrong and a betrayal to me. Now that he has emailed her and asked about meeting, I am ready to file for divorce. Am I out of line? Thanks!
tanbark813 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 You're not out of line but you might be retarded if you think he's not doing anything wrong.
american-woman Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I have a huge problem right now. I am married. My husband recently set up a myspace account. Not only does he refuse to add me as a "friend", but he has his profile set to private. I noticed he had 2 single women as his "friends". I expressed my discomfort with this, as he was searching for single women in our area. He claimed he wasn't doing anything wrong, hasn't done anything wrong, etc. I found an email he traded back and forth with a single lady who lives quite close to us. he said that he "would love to meet her." and for her to email him with a good time for this to occur. His email address was a new yahoo account that I knew nothing about. he still claims he did nothing wrong and that I am giong off half cocked. I think this way - he's married - the mere act of searching for single women is completely and utterly wrong and a betrayal to me. Now that he has emailed her and asked about meeting, I am ready to file for divorce. Am I out of line? Thanks! Your not out of line there are pleanty of RED FLAGS here. You have every right to worry. If your husband is doing nothing wrong he should let you have access to all of his email accounts and myspace account. And really why does he have a MY Space account? Some one who has nothing to hide .hides nothing. Set your boundaries with him and be firm.
torranceshipman Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Poor you, how nasty...hes not even really trying to hide it, and hes being so disrespectful...you deserve 100% better...sendin you hugs, sorry your H is being such a s__tbag...
JamesM Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I think this way - he's married - the mere act of searching for single women is completely and utterly wrong and a betrayal to me. Now that he has emailed her and asked about meeting, I am ready to file for divorce. Am I out of line? Thanks! I agree with your thinking. You are not out of line. My wife would have a fit if i did this...as I would if she did. How would he feel if you set up such an account, set it to private, had two single men as friends, and was emailing for a meeting? My guess is...he would feel as you do. I suggest marriage counseling before divorce. There is a chance that he will see the light.
IM5150 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I'd say don't jump the gun on filing for a divorce yet. Get some good solid evidence first. It will help you out in court.
Jasmine8719 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Umm..yea your definantly not out of line...I can't believe he has the odasity to do something like that..He obviously is trying to have an affair and doesnt care if you know about it or not...umm..yeah you need to file for divorce...sorry to be harsh good luck! -Jasmine
Author Meg1221 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 I DO think it's wrong, he's the retard for thinking it's all good and that he's done nothing wrong!
Author Meg1221 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Thank you all for your words of encouragement and advice. I really just needed to know if I was making a big deal over nothing from someone other than my best friend, and I figured you kind people would be able to help. I know that the advice would be and is genuine because you all know nothing about our relationship.
Zolie Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 OMG! I'm generally of the opinion that there is something wrong in the marriage when one of the spouses seeks out and/or falls in love with another party, and that both spouses are culpable for the failings of the marriage. But THIS, this is just blatant philandering for the sake of philandering, and he's barely trying to hide it! Worse, he IS hiding it, but right in front of you, so you are aware of it. How nasty and rude of him. And childish. And selfish. I cannot imagine having a spouse who refuses to add his own spouse to his MySpace account. My son used to hide his from me, because he didn't want me to see what he is up, ,lol. But, for a spouse to do that is just WRONG! It's just so.... wrong.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 he still claims he did nothing wrong and that I am going off half cocked. I was going to insert some pun about your Husband's desire to meet women "fully" cocked but I couldn't go through with it ... Does he know that you've seen these emails? If so, then add delusional to his other qualities... Mr. Lucky
a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Thank you all for your words of encouragement and advice. I really just needed to know if I was making a big deal over nothing from someone other than my best friend, and I figured you kind people would be able to help. I know that the advice would be and is genuine because you all know nothing about our relationship. Unless you have a secret acct. too- this guy is being a weiner. You are not crazy. (at least about this)
Mustang Sally Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Wow. How, uh....brazen of him, to say the least. How did you come to find out about all of this activity? Did he tell you outright? Or did you find out on your own? I don't think what he's been doing is appropriate, but I'm not sure that that alone would send me to divorce court, just yet. Of course, you are certainly entitled to have the feelings you have about it, but it makes me wonder if there's more to this story? More history of issues than just what you have represented here so far?
twice_shy Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Meg, He's up to no good. What is it about people and their silly little myspace privacy issues when they are married anyway?
quankanne Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 if you've got to hide email and MySpace-type accounts, if you're deleting text messages and erasing phone numbers from your lists of incoming calls, then there's something terribly wrong with the picture. Because when a person does these things, he's pretty much admitting he (or she) knows what he's doing is wrong, but doesn't care how it affects his/her primary relationship. so no, you're not wrong or crazy for being concerned about this ...
Author Meg1221 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Mustang Sally-nice name by the way! there is more to this horrid story than what I relayed yesterday, this event was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I have the email printed out and he still claims he did nothing wrong. I am home from work today because the bastard took the keys to the truck so I couldn't go to work (or leave him..) How childish!
Author Meg1221 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 I have a myspace account, but my profile is not private. My "friends" are people I have known for years - my best friend in MD and a girl I roomed with in AZ, not some random single guys I searched for! I feel like I am losing my mind. Nobody thinks this is OK but him.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 You need to leave him so you can move on with your life and he can continue his new one. He is emotionally out of your marriage and now you have enough to do the same.
Mustang Sally Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Mustang Sally-nice name by the way! there is more to this horrid story than what I relayed yesterday, this event was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I have the email printed out and he still claims he did nothing wrong. I am home from work today because the bastard took the keys to the truck so I couldn't go to work (or leave him..) How childish! Well, that helps me to understand why you are at the point you are now. Thanks. Sounds like he has a huge disconnect. I don't know what he expects to get out of your relationship the way it stands now? Have you specifically discussed that this behavior is a deal-breaker for you? Sounds like he might need a little "Come to Jesus" talk, if you know what I mean....
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