a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I find this so damn confusing. People either don't say or communicate what they want or really don't want then somebody has to guess or assume what they want or don't want. Even worse some people just ignore what people say because perhaps they are one of the people mentioned above and want people to guess what they want or are afraid to say what they want or don't want. This just makes a mess of everything. Then there are feelings involved if you tell someone their butt looks fat in those pants when they asked if their butt looks fat. Well your butt does look bigger in those pants..... then you are evil for saying what you feel or see. This screws up so many things on so many levels in any type of R. Why can't people tell the truth and those that hear it believe it?
JackJack Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I hear ya loud and clear on your post. I know exactly what you mean. "Why can't people tell the truth and those that hear it believe it?" I know people like this. They will point blank ask me a question and even go as far to tell me to be honest, and when I am, they don't want to hear it. I don't get that. Why bother asking if you don't want to truth.
marlena Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Oh , the games people play now Every night and every day now Never meaning what they say now Never saying what they mean And they while away the hours In their Ivory Towers ........ Yup, we all stupidly build our own Ivory Towers when it is soooooooooooooo easy really to just open up your mouth and speak the damn TRUTH. Confounding for sure!
Lyssa Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I hear ya loud and clear on your post. I know exactly what you mean. "Why can't people tell the truth and those that hear it believe it?" I know people like this. They will point blank ask me a question and even go as far to tell me to be honest, and when I am, they don't want to hear it. I don't get that. Why bother asking if you don't want to truth. Oh wow! Something I can relate to - something that happened to me recently. Yes, WHY bother asking if you don't really want to know the answer!! - that I want to know!!!
Author a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Perhaps it is easier to believe BS than face disappointment. People only want to hear the BS. You just continue to pretend to live in the land of rainbows and unicorns. Seriously.... if you have a fat butt and put on a tight pair of pants that show butt rolls poppin' through and ask me.... "do these make me look fat?" I am going to tell you that you look like the Michelin Man. I would hope people would tell me the truth if I asked. So tired of the PC rainbow crap. It screws up so many things.
Meaplus3 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I find this so damn confusing. People either don't say or communicate what they want or really don't want then somebody has to guess or assume what they want or don't want. Even worse some people just ignore what people say because perhaps they are one of the people mentioned above and want people to guess what they want or are afraid to say what they want or don't want. This just makes a mess of everything. Then there are feelings involved if you tell someone their butt looks fat in those pants when they asked if their butt looks fat. Well your butt does look bigger in those pants..... then you are evil for saying what you feel or see. This screws up so many things on so many levels in any type of R. Why can't people tell the truth and those that hear it believe it? I think for those people they really don't have good learned communication skill's and it's very bother some and confusing.. Seem's like in today's world there are so many that also just like to play head game's.. this is one thing that really make's me cringe... it's totally wrong and can be very hurtful. Just my 2 cent's! AP:)
Mustang Sally Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Why can't people tell the truth and those that hear it believe it? Good question.... I guess because it's always sunny and 75 degrees, there on Denial Planet?
JackJack Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Good question.... I guess because it's always sunny and 75 degrees, there on Denial Planet? I like that MS mind if I use that in my signature as a quote?
blind_otter Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Well you remember that line from "A Few Good Men".... "You want the TRUTH? You can't HANDLE the truth!"
underpants Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Well you remember that line from "A Few Good Men".... "You want the TRUTH? You can't HANDLE the truth!" Sadly this encompasses more things then it should. I have more trouble knowing when to play into the over sensitivities of others' then to just say what I think. Especially when I am asked. Super especially when I am personally provoked and asked. It is a hard line to walk and it is all personality dependent. I think. Some people respect honesty and others' want to be coddled. Even then it can be situation and timing specific. The over weight issue. I was once punched for simply saying "you know you look just the same in those pants as the other pants. I love you regardless and we are late." Now I just say "you look great".
Author a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Sadly this encompasses more things then it should. I have more trouble knowing when to play into the over sensitivities of others' then to just say what I think. Especially when I am asked. Super especially when I am personally provoked and asked. It is a hard line to walk and it is all personality dependent. I think. Some people respect honesty and others' want to be coddled. Even then it can be situation and timing specific. The over weight issue. I was once punched for simply saying "you know you look just the same in those pants as the other pants. I love you regardless and we are late." Now I just say "you look great". What pisses me off is people expect you to coddle them. I see people throw hissy fits and people jump to "coddle" them. What they really need is someone to tell them to shut the hell up. Now there are some cases where you need to give supportive advice or communicate in a totally lovey dovey way..... but damn that does not work when you got a repeat offender on your hands. "schmoopy could you please be more responsible cuz I wuvy duvy you so much" (granted in RL I don't tell people to shut up or that they are Michelin Men in tight pants - I do it a bit just a little bit more tact... a little bit more) I have no problem saying - hey you pissed me off, you hurt me, or I do not appreciate that. Nor do I have a problem saying thank you, you're awesome, I admire you. Say what you mean..... and listen to what I say because I mean it.
JackJack Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 What pisses me off is people expect you to coddle them. I see people throw hissy fits and people jump to "coddle" them. What they really need is someone to tell them to shut the hell up. *Maybe these kinds of people were to "coddled" or pacified growing up and that is what their problem is today? And so, if they did have someone who told them the truth or told them to shut the hell up, they act like they are shocked? LOL
Author a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 What pisses me off is people expect you to coddle them. I see people throw hissy fits and people jump to "coddle" them. What they really need is someone to tell them to shut the hell up. *Maybe these kinds of people were to "coddled" or pacified growing up and that is what their problem is today? And so, if they did have someone who told them the truth or told them to shut the hell up, they act like they are shocked? LOL Shut up Jack.
Mustang Sally Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I like that MS mind if I use that in my signature as a quote? Ha! Not at all. I'm very happy here...on Denial Planet...
JackJack Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Ha! Not at all. I'm very happy here...on Denial Planet... Cool. I changed it to more of a question though, but credited your name.
Trimmer Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) What pisses me off is people expect you to coddle them. I see people throw hissy fits and people jump to "coddle" them. What they really need is someone to tell them to shut the hell up. *Maybe these kinds of people were to "coddled" or pacified growing up and that is what their problem is today? And so, if they did have someone who told them the truth or told them to shut the hell up, they act like they are shocked? LOL I was thinking this before I even read Jack's response. Like it or not, unless you have aspergers, communication is much more richly layered than just the objective meaning conveyed by the words we exchange. Human beings tease, joke, console, coddle - sometimes we like it, sometime we expect it ("it wasn't what you said, it was how you said it...") and here's the bottom line: we eventually train each other what our expectations and boundaries are. I wonder what it would be like, in a relationship where, the first time someone asked "do these jeans make me look fat?" and then reacted with petulance to the answer, you took a stand, and said: that's not going to fly in this relationship, and then stuck to it consistently through the relationship. On one hand, it could work. On the other hand, would this eventually become a part of: "he's so unromantic, he doesn't meet my emotional needs..." The problem is, then you can't expect to be coddled, or have smoke blown up your ass, or have your mind read, either... I hear what you are saying, and I know what you mean, but do you think this might be one of those "be careful what you wish for" situations - are you sure you'd want total, unvarnished, unfiltered honesty? I was reading the mail over at an aspergers discussion forum, and I know it's been mentioned here on LS before, but there was an interesting thread, nearly 100 posts long, about the difficulty, frustration, and irritation involved in responding to the greeting "How are you?" I'm not saying I have the answer, but I do wonder just how much truth could we handle? (P.S. This may be a common refrain among men whose wives left them, but I f**king HATE it when someone - like, say, my apparently unhappy wife - expects me to read her mind, so I do understand what you are saying... ) Edited January 29, 2008 by Trimmer
Author a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 How are you? I don't ask that unless I really want to know how that person is. In reality I don't care how must people are - truth. (willing to admit to that) Do I care how the grocery clerk is......... no not really....
Meaplus3 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 How are you? I don't ask that unless I really want to know how that person is. In reality I don't care how must people are - truth. (willing to admit to that) Do I care how the grocery clerk is......... no not really.... a4A...I'm the same exact way!! I'm mean after all do I really care how the Mailman is?
Author a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Is the mailman hot? and forgive all the typos.... I am flipping screens like burgers here.
Meaplus3 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Is the mailman hot? and forgive all the typos.... I am flipping screens like burgers here. :lmao:lol! Actually we have a mail lady...so I guess if I was into women I would have to say Yes:p:laugh: Is your mailman hot? AP:)
Author a4a Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 :lmao:lol! Actually we have a mail lady...so I guess if I was into women I would have to say Yes:p:laugh: Is your mailman hot? AP:) NO!!! big NO...... female as well..... I think she would wipe the floor with me if I pissed her off..... There we just exchanged mailpersons info that interested us.
Meaplus3 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 NO!!! big NO...... female as well..... I think she would wipe the floor with me if I pissed her off..... There we just exchanged mailpersons info that interested us. LOL! Thank's I really need to laugh today! So how about your UPS men?? We have one that's oh so nice.. he get's me all flustered when he deliver's a package....I wonder if I can request him all the time? AP:)
JackJack Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 NO!!! big NO...... female as well..... I think she would wipe the floor with me if I pissed her off..... There we just exchanged mailpersons info that interested us. You could always show her your tater mitt.
Moose Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I wonder if I can request him all the time?Well jeeeez, if that's you in the avatar, and I worked for UPS I'd give my notice UNLESS you were on my regular route!..... And yes, I meant to say that....
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