4givrnt4gtr Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 So, i was messing around my messenger tonight. My BF forgot to log off from work so I started sending silly aims, asking him how he got to be so sexy and just being silly. Then i wondered if i may be acting too needy (talking to myself on messenger...really though?? lol!). But then i realize im not really sure what means to be needy? I mean, I would like to talk to him more often, or have him call me more, or have meaninful conversation on the phone. We dont do that...he sucks on the phone. He does call but...its just kinda...eeehh. Still I miss him a lot when we dont get to talk all that much. Is that needy??? I dont tell him, or pressure him for more talking time. But like today, I randomly and sometimes not really thinking, send him silly things that let him know im thinking about him.... What would make a girl seem needy??? Do tell, lets see if i fit the needy bill
Star Gazer Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 If you were him, would you think, "Does she think of anything else during her day BUT me?" If so, that's needy... for sure.
fray718 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I think it's important to have a balance and know that sometimes less is more. If you send him like 10 msgs every day telling him you miss him or whatever he'll just take it for granted. But if you surprise him every once in awhile with a cute msg he'd be delighted and appreciate it more.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 If you were him, would you think, "Does she think of anything else during her day BUT me?" If so, that's needy... for sure. hm...im not sure....i usually let him aim me/call me. But sometimes i miss him if he doesnt so I text him hi or something like that.... tsk tsk tsk.....hmmmmmmm I guess i shouldnt do that???
BentSpine Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Almost anyone can be needy. Calling someone else needy is simply the not-as-needy's way of saying that they have a lower desire for communication and/or being together. It depends on the combination of people. For instance, what an incompatible partner considers needy may just be touchy-feely for a more compatible partner.
Ronni_W Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Neediness isn't limited to just women. It's when someone wants, needs, expects or demands that others satisfy some or all of their own mental, emotional, physical, social, material and/or spiritual desires, requirements and preferences. It's where you can't create and enjoy your own feelings of happiness, contentment and inner peace. Where you cannot complete yourself, and feel as if something's "missing" if the other person isn't in your immediate space. Where you expect/demand to know what they think and do, 24/7. When you find yourself saying anything close to "you complete me" (or thinking, "s/he completes me"), that's a for-sure sign of neediness.
ZenSilk Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I think Ronni_W is making a very good point here. Neediness can't really be defined by how many times you call someone or other similar details. The answer lies rather in how you feel yourself, how you define your happiness and own emotional stability. If you're dependent on someone else for that, then you're needy. If you find yourself blaming your bf for your bad mood just because he didn't react to a particular sentence the way you were expecting him to react, or because he didn't say goodbye you as lovingly as you were expecting him to... then you're putting your emotional well-being in his hands, losing your grip on yourself. That leads to neediness. However, I think the thought "you complete me" can also be meant without putting the responsibility for the own happiness in the SO's hands.
Ronni_W Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 "you complete me" can also be meant without putting the responsibility for the own happiness in the SO's hands. Yes, usually people use it for romantic effect more than a need/desire to dump responsibility, blame or guilt. OTOH, I find it sometimes too easy to start believing the words we tell ourselves, even out of context of what we originally thought and knew. So I prefer to use words like enhance, support or encourage rather than "complete" -- it just serves as a useful reminder (to myself more than anything) of what I want to have and to give, in my relationships.
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