D-Lish Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Geez. We spend a lot of time talking here about NC, getting over people who are unhealthy for us. We derive support from one another- and it's a great forum to find a lot of solace in. BUT GEEZ- in the last 2 days I have had THREE ex's contact me trying to start things up again. One has been three months- one was a year and a half ago and the other was a recent jerk who I really liked but he played hot and cold with me and I let him go with the whole "call me when you figure out what you want...". They really do show up when you least expect it. And I have played NC with all of these guys. I have posted I have met someone new I am liking yet skeptical about- but when people from your past that had an impact on you start reaching out- it sort of messes with you. One of these guys is someone I loved dearly. I have gotten over him- at least I thought I had- geez.... and one text and an e-mail.... and it brings back a little bit of heart break. See guys- they do come back..... NC does bring them back quite often. But it's not only a good thing. Just venting. When it rains it pours. WTF
jerbear Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Why... because "we" wanted to. I did it to address my own demons and mistakes.
Art_Critic Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 They almost always contact the good ones Dlish... You are the one that got away to many...
Art_Critic Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I did it to address my own demons and mistakes. I have done it for this same reason(s) Jerbear.. Almost always though I had wanted to get back with that person and was rebuffed.. it is almost as if the rebuff or each rebuff sends me back for more introspection
Author D-Lish Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 They almost always contact the good ones Dlish... You are the one that got away to many... You're still one of my favs Art. Have been from the beginning. I'm not always one of the good one's. I have demons. But I have the other side that balances things out.... and that side is pretty cool. I will say upfront- all of these men are wrong for me. A smart girl would not answer any of them. I haven't yet. It's amazing how you can think you are over things and then BOOM.... you get hit with something unexpected and it shakes things up.
johan Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 If I used to date you, I'd probably try to get back in touch with you. Just seems like the thing to do.
Pyro Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Geez. We spend a lot of time talking here about NC, getting over people who are unhealthy for us. We derive support from one another- and it's a great forum to find a lot of solace in. BUT GEEZ- in the last 2 days I have had THREE ex's contact me trying to start things up again. One has been three months- one was a year and a half ago and the other was a recent jerk who I really liked but he played hot and cold with me and I let him go with the whole "call me when you figure out what you want...". They really do show up when you least expect it. And I have played NC with all of these guys. I have posted I have met someone new I am liking yet skeptical about- but when people from your past that had an impact on you start reaching out- it sort of messes with you. One of these guys is someone I loved dearly. I have gotten over him- at least I thought I had- geez.... and one text and an e-mail.... and it brings back a little bit of heart break. See guys- they do come back..... NC does bring them back quite often. But it's not only a good thing. Just venting. When it rains it pours. WTF You obviously had some sort of effect on them that they miss you. I would take it as a good thing, while maintaining NC.
oppath Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 If I used to date you, I'd probably try to get back in touch with you. Just seems like the thing to do. I just wouldn't be a knob job to begin with.
PinkRibbon Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Wow! I wish my husband would contact me. I would make me feel better to actually turn him down now. One can only dream..........
Author D-Lish Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 LOL. It was just weird that it happened all at once. I have no plans to step back into any of those relationships. They weren't right for me. Threw me for a loop though. I am having trouble concentrating today.
sandflea Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 LOL. It was just weird that it happened all at once. I have no plans to step back into any of those relationships. They weren't right for me. Threw me for a loop though. I am having trouble concentrating today. Yeah - when it rains it pours. Why don't you tell them all to meet you at the same restaraunt at the same time, and have a friend show up to give you the play by play... LOL! Hang in there.. JR
oppath Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 LOL. It was just weird that it happened all at once. I have no plans to step back into any of those relationships. They weren't right for me. Threw me for a loop though. I am having trouble concentrating today. Oh, it happens. I had two ex's of sorts contact me like the day after my last breakup, which I took really hard. I was writing emails screaming "waaaaaaaaaaaaa" and "and then this happened!" It's not all surprising though. The way nature works is things happen in density waves. It doesn't mean it's not part of a random distribution (assuming a uniform flux of men coming in and out of your life), but it sure the hell seems like it means something.
82knightrider Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 IMO opinion there just selfish Mo Fo's who dont deserve our time because thats what they are ,Mo Fo's .lol The only way my ex has a chance with me is if she begs me for 6 months straight and shows that she has changed and shows that she truly loves me.But im not counting on that because shes to full of pride.Shes not humble at all.
Robert7x Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 but you'll always hear ex's that are guys calling girls back... I don't think it's other way around... At least i haven't heard of one. I think it's a lot easier for a girl to move on after a break-up then a guy... Girls have more options... This is only what i think.
PinkRibbon Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I don't know my ex hasn't so much as said a hint at us getting back in fact he isn't saying anything. So I think it depends on the person??
samamelia Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I understand...I don't know what your spiritual life is like, but it sounds like an attack from the enemy...that's the way it works..waits for when your most vulnerable and then attacks slowly...get away...you are an ex for a reason...tell them to be blessed and go with jesus...
Author D-Lish Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 but you'll always hear ex's that are guys calling girls back... I don't think it's other way around... At least i haven't heard of one. I think it's a lot easier for a girl to move on after a break-up then a guy... Girls have more options... This is only what i think. I've contacted ex's before. I often do it when I have had "one too many" bottles of beer. I did end up exchanging a few e-mails with one of them- and the jerk admitted he was beginning a new relationship and just wanted to know if I ever thought about getting back together before he comitted to her. WTF. Some men I have dated affected me greatly- others barely at all. I have realized after breaking up with someone that I have made a mistake and tried to make amends.... but it has rarely worked out in my favour. I think it's hard to go back. If things weren't right the first time, it's doubtful giving it a second try will work out. I honestly think this jerk was contacting me to rub it in my face he had met someone. And he was the one who broke up with me- so I didn't see the point of bringing a new relationship to my attention when I hadn't spoken to him in months. I am casually dating a few people right now- so hopefully one of them will blow me away...
oppath Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I I honestly think this jerk was contacting me to rub it in my face he had met someone. And he was the one who broke up with me- so I didn't see the point of bringing a new relationship to my attention when I hadn't spoken to him in months. That's messed up. Now, if you WERE talking to him, of course he should say "you know, I've started a new relationship. I don't want to hurt you by saying this but it's not fair to her to be talking to you unless I tell you. I hope we're still cool and we can be friends."
Author D-Lish Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 That's messed up. Now, if you WERE talking to him, of course he should say "you know, I've started a new relationship. I don't want to hurt you by saying this but it's not fair to her to be talking to you unless I tell you. I hope we're still cool and we can be friends." I know! But we haven't talked since we broke up. He tried to keep me in the picture initially with the "friend card" but I told him I wanted no contact. This guy was always a jerk anyway. I am glad he is out of my life! Like I said- when it rains, it pours. I went from having no one in my life at all- to having a dating extravaganza.
oppath Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 I know! But we haven't talked since we broke up. He tried to keep me in the picture initially with the "friend card" but I told him I wanted no contact. I told my ex that too. Four times. How she extrapolated that to asking me to be friends with benefits was beyond me. Oh, wait, she wanted me to be the backup plan while she dated other people. Enjoy the dating extravaganza. I hope it works out for you and someone blows you away. You deserve it and are ready for it.
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