katty774 Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 OK I know I am obsessing over this and it isn't any of my business, but I can't understand why my ex is wearing a wedding band? Is this normal for some people to do? I mean he hasn't been seeing her that long, their not married but he is wearing a wedding band. Can anyone give me some perspective on this. I know she has a little girl and I think he is living with her now so maybe that is why he is wearing the band. She is wearing an engagement ring that her grandmother gave her. Please give me some input.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Are you certain they aren't married? They could have gone to the justice of the peace and gotten legally married quietly. If not, perhaps they are simply symbolizing for those around them ahead of time what they intend to do in the future.
s_n_d Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 You are just going to hurt more being paranoid over this. You need to accept the fact that he may be getting married to this woman in the future or may have already. I doubt your ex is wearing a wedding band for "fun". You deserve so much better.
Author katty774 Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 No I know they are not married yet. I am the one that wrote the post about the ex coming to my sisters wedding. He had the nerve to come to my sister and have her notarized some papers for his new gf so that she can begin her classes to convert to a catholic. My sister is the one that told me about the ring, and she said she ask him if they had gotten married and he said no. I know I shouldn't care but ever since my sister told me that he was coming to the wedding I have been sick about it all.
PLAYBRAT Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Jeeze Katty.....why are you going to even put yourself through that ??? Seriously...I would not attend the wedding if it were me. It just sounds like way too much stress for the sake of doing the "right thing"....and why is your sister telling you all these hurtful things?? Or even inviting him to the wedding?? I don't get it...Sorry.
LakesideDream Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Katty, you answer is in your question. He's your "ex". What he does physically shouldn't concern you. I didn't and don't care what my ex decided to do after our divorce. She could have pierced her nipples, worn a stud in her clitoris, and had "Harley Davidson" tatto'd across her ass and it wouldn't have meant a thing to me.
Author katty774 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 I guess I was just wondering if this was some sort of thing with Catholics that choose to live together. You see we were together 2 years but we didnt live together, nor was I Catholic. I was mainly curious if anyone knew if there was something more to it. It just seemed really strange to me to wear a wedding band before you get married. I just thought someone may have a logical reason other than he is just an idiot playing house. I have to make up my mind as to whom I am taking to my sisters wedding. The choices are my best friend (which is a girl, with whom will get really intoxicated and end up telling my sister and the ex off and showing her a--, but only because she loves me and knows how this has hurt me, ) or a coworker that is really fun to hang around with and we have developed a good friendship, he is a year or two younger than my ex which makes him 12 years younger than me, but he really wants to go as my date. Tonight he ask me to meet him for a beer after work so we had a few beers together. He then went on to tell me how I shouldn't be stressing so much over the ex. I have told him the entire story. He is really sweet and he would be a lot of fun. Anyway I need to decide what to do but at this time I still have not. If I had my choice about it I would take someone who would really make my ex jealous but the truth of the matter is that he probably is so in love with his new gf that he won't even notice. But you would have to think that he has to be thinking of running into me because he knows I won't miss my sisters wedding. If I had my way I would take someone really hot and have them hang all over me all night long.
PLAYBRAT Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Ok....here's something you are probably not going to WANT to hear, but you NEED to hear. One...you need to stop worrying about what your ex is or is not doing. You are right.It's none of your business anymore. As much as it hurts to hear that, you know it's the truth. Next....you are putting WAY too much thought into the ex being at this wedding. You know he's going to be there, there's nothing you can do about it short of NOT going. So make a choice. Go, suck it up, be polite and classy......or be petty bitter and vindictive.Be a victim and let him dictate how your night is going to go. The fact is you can ONLY control your OWN actions. If he's there, big deal.It is only ONE night..and it will be all over. All you are going to do is cause you unneccessarry grief for you and anyone else who knows the situation. This can be a miserable time or it can be a time for you to prove to yourself what a classy, and dignified person you are. It really comes down to YOU and no one else.
norajane Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Ok....here's something you are probably not going to WANT to hear, but you NEED to hear. One...you need to stop worrying about what your ex is or is not doing. You are right.It's none of your business anymore. As much as it hurts to hear that, you know it's the truth. Next....you are putting WAY too much thought into the ex being at this wedding. You know he's going to be there, there's nothing you can do about it short of NOT going. So make a choice. Go, suck it up, be polite and classy......or be petty bitter and vindictive.Be a victim and let him dictate how your night is going to go. The fact is you can ONLY control your OWN actions. If he's there, big deal.It is only ONE night..and it will be all over. All you are going to do is cause you unneccessarry grief for you and anyone else who knows the situation. This can be a miserable time or it can be a time for you to prove to yourself what a classy, and dignified person you are. It really comes down to YOU and no one else. Ditto. Your ex is wearing a ring because he chooses to. Maybe he's made a private commitment to the woman in his life. Maybe he intends to marry her. Whatever it means, it has nothing to do with you, and dwelling on it is just making you crazy. Take your guy friend to the wedding and dance in your sister's honor. Forget about the ex, forget about his ring, put the past behind you.
CalamitousJane Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Katty, I've been following your story, and I have to say I'm alarmed about your sister. Honestly, I would never hurt one of my sisters that way. I don't care what my history with her ex might be - he wouldn't be coming to any wedding of mine unless it was totally ok with her. Her reporting to you about him wearing a ring just rubs it in. Is she angry at you for some reason? Has she always treated this disrespectfully? About your companion... If you MUST go to the dang wedding I'd bring the cute coworker. Sounds like he's capable of adoring you, and that's just what you need to feel right now. Like PLAYBRAT says, your best move right now, if you go, is to be polite and classy. Surround yourself with people who care about Katty, and have a really, really good time.
whichwayisup Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Your ex is wearing a ring because he chooses to. Maybe he's made a private commitment to the woman in his life. Maybe he intends to marry her. Whatever it means, it has nothing to do with you, and dwelling on it is just making you crazy. Take your guy friend to the wedding and dance in your sister's honor. Forget about the ex, forget about his ring, put the past behind you. NJ is right. Go to the wedding, have fun and forget the ex. He isn't in your life anymore. Yes, I understand that it hurts but you can't let what he does affect you. YOU are in control of yourself and what you feel. Don't let him ruin your time at the wedding. Sidenote, I do agree with CJ, your sister shouldn't be talking about him to you.
cant let go Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 But you would have to think that he has to be thinking of running into me because he knows I won't miss my sisters wedding. If I had my way I would take someone really hot and have them hang all over me all night long. ok...this is not actually advice but merely a little interlude... did you ever see the movie The Wedding Date with Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney? this totally reminds me of it!
Author katty774 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 for all of your input. I do need to move on. He has and I want to. I think I would have less of a problem with it if he would just stay out of my life, which means stay the f--- away from my sisters wedding. If he is so busy getting on with his life and new love why must he insist on coming to my sisters wedding, the free booze and dinner? Probably because he is a big bum. Sorry I just needed to vent. Today I am angry. I go thru so many different emotions. I am happy to have NC, if I didn't have to ever see his sorry a-- ever again would be fine. I can't believe he actually isn't afraid that his new gf might find out at the wedding that he was still seeing us both up until I found out. Oh well sorry everyone I just needed to vent. I just want him out of my life completely. He always talked ugly about my family so it just ticks me off that he wants to show his sorry face up at my sisters wedding.
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