Newbie. My story *sorry, long*

[CherryBakewell]

Hi - I am new here and am so thankful I have found this forum! I am madly in love with a MM. Although I know he loves me too & is unhappily married, I very much doubt he will leave his wife. He has tried to leave her three times (twice before he even met me) but backs down at the last second because she gets so hysterical. I need to get out of this situation, as although I feel like I am walking on air when I am with him, I am depressed and low and miss him so much it hurts like hell for ages afterwards. (This he does not know - he thinks I am fine & dandy about our situation). It's starting to have a real & negative effect on my life.

 

This is breaking my heart and I know something has to change.

 

For background, I am 28 and he is 46. Kids aged 18 & 21. 21's away at uni. 18's leaving home this summer. Yes I know immediately everyone will say it's a classic case of him having a mid-life crisis etc and I am insane for even thinking a future with this man is possible. I cannot deny that that's how it started; it was pure lust on both our parts (I have never EVER been as physically & mentally attracted to anyone as I am to him). However, our feelings have got so deep and strong, we both know that it's love.

 

About 8 months ago he tried to leave his wife (not FOR me, because we both agree you shouldn't leave a relationship for someone else, but because the relationship is wrong, you can't fix it and you'd rather be on your own then with them). He did not tell her he had been unfaithful (I did not want him to), although afterwards he told me he regretted that and wished he'd had the courage to tell her as then it really would be over. As I said before, he backed out at the last second because he gets scared by how hysterical she becomes. They agreed to give it 3 months to try and make it work; we agreed we can't have any contact in that time. It was unbelievably tough for me. Although I dated other guys to try & get over him, it didn't work.

 

Although we worked together, we didn't see each other very often and would just say hi. Some very sad, lingering looks were exchanged when we were alone, but neither of us dared to speak. In the autumn though we actually had to work together quite closely - and it was great! We didn't discuss anything personal (not an EA), but we got on so great and had so many laughs. There were a couple of works dos in that time, that always involve a hotel. We would try to stay away from each other but the connection between us is too strong and we would always end up in bed together. It would be beautiful, but afterwards we would go back to no 'personal' contact. I was ok with this & expected no different. Yes, this sounds like a classic 'cake-eater', and I'm not denying it. We tried to keep it that way, just about sex, but our feelings keep growing.

 

However, back in November after no contact for months, something happened that threw us together and made us see another side of each other. It was the kind of situation where you really see someone's true colours, and what we saw just made us fall in love - although we shared no more than a kiss and lots of hugs on this occasion. He asked to take me out to dinner in the new year, 'as friends' (yeah right - lol!). I agreed.

 

We've not been out to dinner yet, but the project we were on is now over & last week we had a final work dinner. We had an absolute blast together, and as soon as we were alone he told me properly loved me, & I said I loved him too. We spent the night together and it was more intimate than ever before. Each time I've seen him he's more loving, but this last time was some whole new level.

 

So he has been trying to stay away from me because he's married, but can't and every time we see each other we fall deeper in love. Although I told him how I felt about him (without dropping the 'L' bomb) back in that Nov occasion, I act like I'm all breezy and cool with everything. Part of me does this because I know that makes it easier for him to deal with. Ergh god, just typing this makes me want to shake myself! Honestly, I am a very intelligent, confident, successful, attractive woman who is well known for taking no sh*t off anyone - especially men!! Yet this man makes me feel like an emotional imbecile.

 

I am actually leaving the country to work overseas in summer. Although I've always wanted to do this, I am bringing it forward to get away from this situation. We have agreed to see each other a few times before I go away, and so now I am in the 'waiting for him to contact me' stage. Great - I'm loving it

 

If he doesn't ask me in the next few days, I may have to contact him to arrange it as I have to tell him exactly how I feel. Not issue an ultimatum, but let him know that I love him & want to be with him. It could give him the push he needs to leave the marriage. I want to suggest we spend as much time as possible together over the next few months to see if we think a relationship really is possible despite the age gap. (He told me way back in the beginning that if he met someone like - proceeded to describe me - who was, say 38, he'd leave his wife. I know my age is the biggest factor in him trying to stay away from me.) Although I have no idea what state his marriage currently is - neither of us mention it - I do know he's been unhappy and wanted to leave for 5 years. And I do know, especially after reading this forum, that this isn't a fairytale and we're not just going to ride off into the sunset together. It's going to be tough and painful and awful, but I'm prepared for that. For us to take it real slow and just date whilst he's going through a divorce (we talked about that before). And I would stay in this country.

 

In regards the age gap, I have thought about this so long and hard. I am an incredibly rational person (normally!) and have researched stuff on the internet, asked myself some very difficult questions and I am completely comfortable with all the answers I have found. Trust me, I don't need 'imagine when you're 48 and he's 76?' or 'what about kids?' questions right now, cos I've thought through them all. And although it bothered him in the beginning, I know the more we've got to know each other, the less of a problem it's become.

 

Or, more likely, he'll tell me he can't leave his wife (for the same reasons I've seen written on here a million times), in which case I have to tell him we can't have any contact ever again. And it will break my heart. But it's breaking already - the more I see him the more I want him and it's just killing me.

 

Please please does anyone have any words of advice or comfort? I want to ask you all 'do you think he'll leave his wife?' - which I know is ridiculous because who can tell? Trust me, this man does love me. I just don't know if that's enough for him to make the leap.

 

Ask any questions you want...

 

THANK YOU to those who have read this far!! Just writing it all down has really helped.

[Meaplus3]

Hi - I am new here and am so thankful I have found this forum! I am madly in love with a MM. Although I know he loves me too & is unhappily married, I very much doubt he will leave his wife. He has tried to leave her three times (twice before he even met me) but backs down at the last second because she gets so hysterical. I need to get out of this situation, as although I feel like I am walking on air when I am with him, I am depressed and low and miss him so much it hurts like hell for ages afterwards. (This he does not know - he thinks I am fine & dandy about our situation). It's starting to have a real & negative effect on my life.

 

This is breaking my heart and I know something has to change.

 

For background, I am 28 and he is 46. Kids aged 18 & 21. 21's away at uni. 18's leaving home this summer. Yes I know immediately everyone will say it's a classic case of him having a mid-life crisis etc and I am insane for even thinking a future with this man is possible. I cannot deny that that's how it started; it was pure lust on both our parts (I have never EVER been as physically & mentally attracted to anyone as I am to him). However, our feelings have got so deep and strong, we both know that it's love.

 

About 8 months ago he tried to leave his wife (not FOR me, because we both agree you shouldn't leave a relationship for someone else, but because the relationship is wrong, you can't fix it and you'd rather be on your own then with them). He did not tell her he had been unfaithful (I did not want him to), although afterwards he told me he regretted that and wished he'd had the courage to tell her as then it really would be over. As I said before, he backed out at the last second because he gets scared by how hysterical she becomes. They agreed to give it 3 months to try and make it work; we agreed we can't have any contact in that time. It was unbelievably tough for me. Although I dated other guys to try & get over him, it didn't work.

 

Although we worked together, we didn't see each other very often and would just say hi. Some very sad, lingering looks were exchanged when we were alone, but neither of us dared to speak. In the autumn though we actually had to work together quite closely - and it was great! We didn't discuss anything personal (not an EA), but we got on so great and had so many laughs. There were a couple of works dos in that time, that always involve a hotel. We would try to stay away from each other but the connection between us is too strong and we would always end up in bed together. It would be beautiful, but afterwards we would go back to no 'personal' contact. I was ok with this & expected no different. Yes, this sounds like a classic 'cake-eater', and I'm not denying it. We tried to keep it that way, just about sex, but our feelings keep growing.

 

However, back in November after no contact for months, something happened that threw us together and made us see another side of each other. It was the kind of situation where you really see someone's true colours, and what we saw just made us fall in love - although we shared no more than a kiss and lots of hugs on this occasion. He asked to take me out to dinner in the new year, 'as friends' (yeah right - lol!). I agreed.

 

We've not been out to dinner yet, but the project we were on is now over & last week we had a final work dinner. We had an absolute blast together, and as soon as we were alone he told me properly loved me, & I said I loved him too. We spent the night together and it was more intimate than ever before. Each time I've seen him he's more loving, but this last time was some whole new level.

 

So he has been trying to stay away from me because he's married, but can't and every time we see each other we fall deeper in love. Although I told him how I felt about him (without dropping the 'L' bomb) back in that Nov occasion, I act like I'm all breezy and cool with everything. Part of me does this because I know that makes it easier for him to deal with. Ergh god, just typing this makes me want to shake myself! Honestly, I am a very intelligent, confident, successful, attractive woman who is well known for taking no sh*t off anyone - especially men!! Yet this man makes me feel like an emotional imbecile.

 

I am actually leaving the country to work overseas in summer. Although I've always wanted to do this, I am bringing it forward to get away from this situation. We have agreed to see each other a few times before I go away, and so now I am in the 'waiting for him to contact me' stage. Great - I'm loving it

 

If he doesn't ask me in the next few days, I may have to contact him to arrange it as I have to tell him exactly how I feel. Not issue an ultimatum, but let him know that I love him & want to be with him. It could give him the push he needs to leave the marriage. I want to suggest we spend as much time as possible together over the next few months to see if we think a relationship really is possible despite the age gap. (He told me way back in the beginning that if he met someone like - proceeded to describe me - who was, say 38, he'd leave his wife. I know my age is the biggest factor in him trying to stay away from me.) Although I have no idea what state his marriage currently is - neither of us mention it - I do know he's been unhappy and wanted to leave for 5 years. And I do know, especially after reading this forum, that this isn't a fairytale and we're not just going to ride off into the sunset together. It's going to be tough and painful and awful, but I'm prepared for that. For us to take it real slow and just date whilst he's going through a divorce (we talked about that before). And I would stay in this country.

 

In regards the age gap, I have thought about this so long and hard. I am an incredibly rational person (normally!) and have researched stuff on the internet, asked myself some very difficult questions and I am completely comfortable with all the answers I have found. Trust me, I don't need 'imagine when you're 48 and he's 76?' or 'what about kids?' questions right now, cos I've thought through them all. And although it bothered him in the beginning, I know the more we've got to know each other, the less of a problem it's become.

 

Or, more likely, he'll tell me he can't leave his wife (for the same reasons I've seen written on here a million times), in which case I have to tell him we can't have any contact ever again. And it will break my heart. But it's breaking already - the more I see him the more I want him and it's just killing me.

 

Please please does anyone have any words of advice or comfort? I want to ask you all 'do you think he'll leave his wife?' - which I know is ridiculous because who can tell? Trust me, this man does love me. I just don't know if that's enough for him to make the leap.

 

Ask any questions you want...

 

THANK YOU to those who have read this far!! Just writing it all down has really helped.

 

If he has made three attempt's and it's been a NO go so far... then IMO I think he will not leave his wife. sound's to me like he could very possibly be going though a mid-life crisis....that's very commom at his age... and coupled with the fact that his kid's will be out of the house soon..would add to his crisis here. I think you are beign lead on from what I gather from your post. Your heart is breaking and your hurting over this...Does not sound like a healthy R to me..While it might be one of the toughest thing you ever do...I think NC, you should really move on. Best of Luck.

 

AP:)

[torranceshipman]

You are nuts...here you are saying you're ready to weather the storm of divorce and don't mind that he'd be 76 when you're 48...like that'll ever happen! He isn't even calling you - your instincts were right about the mid life crisis thing - he just wanted a fling. Plus it started out as lust - which means that hes the kind of guy that would toy with his M simply for lust - sounds like a cake eating serial cheater to me!

 

And no I am not flaming you, this is just a reality check to get you out of a sucky situation faster!

[blind_otter]

This may sound harsh...but if I were you I would tell this MM to reach up between his legs, go elbow deep in his ass-hole if he has to, root around, grab his balls, and effing pull them out of the place where they've retreated to for the past x number of years.

 

He's "tried" three times to leave his wife? And the truth of the matter is - you make it easier for him to stay in his M. He can get what he needs - emotionally, physically, spiritually - from you, all the while sticking his head in the sand when it comes to his home life.

 

You try to stay away from him, but you can't. You are inevitably drawn to him for whatever reason.

 

If I were you I would go ahead and leave the country for the summer. It will give you some time to clear your head, and it will give HIM some time to realize what life will be like without you. He needs to make a decision and stick to it.

 

I find indecisive men to be incredibly unattractive, to the point of being repellant. That's just me, though.

[CherryBakewell]

Thank you all so much for listening to my story and giving me such great advice - I cannot tell you how much stronger I feel!! You are all right and getting objective opinions has helped me admit to myself what I've always known but made excuses for. You're right - I must be nuts!!! This is crazy, I've found myself in a situation I would slap any friend out of.

 

Whilst I will always feel fondness for him as he genuinely has an incredibly positive effect on my life in a lot of regards, I need to stop it now. What I've realised is I have to take control; I have danced to his tune for long enough. I've drafted him an email, telling him honestly how I feel (for the first time ever) and saying it ends now. Tomorrow I'll read it through & send it.

 

Thank you all again, you've helped me so much xx

[st951]

When you are a hot 40 year-old getting attention from 20-year olds at the gym, he will be having problems with his prostate and walking around bent over with grey hair, if he still has hair, and very thick lensed geezer glasses, and hair coming out of his ears and all that.

 

I think you can do much better.

[OWoman]

When you are a hot 40 year-old getting attention from 20-year olds at the gym, he will be having problems with his prostate and walking around bent over with grey hair, if he still has hair, and very thick lensed geezer glasses, and hair coming out of his ears and all that.

 

I think your maths is a bit flakey - that sounds more like an 85 year old than a 58 year old. The age gap doesn't increase over time, it stays constant.

[jaslene2009]

Cherry,

 

Please, Please don't give up your goals and dreams for this man. I know first hand what you are going through, since I am in the same situation. But for me, I really and truely don't want him to leave because I am M too! I feel that if I leave my M, I am going to be single and not be in a serious relationship for a while. Just, plan your trip over seas and also look forward to meeting alot of smart, good looking, single men. If he really wanted to leave his wife, he would be gone by now. No one needs someone on the the side to leave. If he is that miserable, he would just go. I am M, and I know that is true. However, if he really loves you, than he would want to see you happy. Therefore, he would allow you to go on and be happy or he would end his marriage so that you guys could be together. Please don't let him use that lame excuse that he is staying for the kids either. If he was that miserable, he would consider being a great dad in a different home setting. Trust me, don't give in and up on your goals.

 

Hi - I am new here and am

so

thankful I have found this forum! I am madly in love with a

MM

. Although I know he loves me too & is unhappily married, I very much doubt he will leave his wife. He has tried to leave her three times (twice before he even met me) but backs down at the last second because she gets

so

hysterical. I need to get out of this situation, as although I feel like I am walking on air when I am with him, I am depressed and low and miss him

so

much it hurts like hell for ages afterwards. (This he does not know - he thinks I am fine & dandy about our situation). It's starting to have a real & negative effect on my life.

 

This is breaking my heart and I know something has to change.

 

For background, I am 28 and he is 46. Kids aged 18 & 21. 21's away at uni. 18's leaving home this summer. Yes I know immediately everyone will say it's a classic case of him having a mid-life crisis etc and I am insane for even thinking a future with this man is possible. I cannot deny that that's how it started; it was pure lust on both our parts (I have never EVER been as physically & mentally attracted to anyone as I am to him). However, our feelings have got

so

deep and strong, we both know that it's love.

 

About 8 months ago he tried to leave his wife (not FOR me, because we both agree you shouldn't leave a relationship for someone else, but because the relationship is wrong, you can't fix it and you'd rather be on your own then with them). He did not tell her he had been unfaithful (I did not want him to), although afterwards he told me he regretted that and wished he'd had the courage to tell her as then it really would be over. As I said before, he backed out at the last second because he gets scared by how hysterical she becomes. They agreed to give it 3 months to try and make it work; we agreed we can't have any contact in that time. It was unbelievably tough for me. Although I dated other guys to try & get over him, it didn't work.

 

Although we worked together, we didn't see each other very often and would just say hi. Some very sad, lingering looks were exchanged when we were alone, but neither of us dared to speak. In the autumn though we actually had to work together quite closely - and it was great! We didn't discuss anything personal (not an

EA

), but we got on

so

great and had

so

many laughs. There were a couple of works dos in that time, that always involve a hotel. We would try to stay away from each other but the connection between us is too strong and we would always end up in bed together. It would be beautiful, but afterwards we would go back to no 'personal' contact. I was ok with this & expected no different. Yes, this sounds like a classic 'cake-eater', and I'

m

not denying it. We tried to keep it that way, just about sex, but our feelings keep growing.

 

However, back in November after no contact for months, something happened that threw us together and made us see another side of each other. It was the kind of situation where you really see someone's true colours, and what we saw just made us fall in love - although we shared no more than a kiss and lots of hugs on this occasion. He asked to take me out to dinner in the new year, 'as friends' (yeah right - lol!). I agreed.

 

We've not been out to dinner yet, but the project we were on is now over & last week we had a final work dinner. We had an absolute blast together, and as soon as we were alone he told me properly loved me, & I said I loved him too. We spent the night together and it was more intimate than ever before. Each time I've seen him he's more loving, but this last time was some whole new level.

 

So

he has been trying to stay away from me because he's married, but can't and every time we see each other we fall deeper in love. Although I told him how I felt about him (without dropping the 'L' bomb) back in that Nov occasion, I act like I'

m

all breezy and cool with everything. Part of me does this because I know that makes it easier for him to deal with. Ergh god, just typing this makes me want to shake myself! Honestly, I am a very intelligent, confident, successful, attractive woman who is well known for taking no sh*t off anyone - especially men!! Yet this man makes me feel like an emotional imbecile.

 

I am actually leaving the country to work overseas in summer. Although I've always wanted to do this, I am bringing it forward to get away from this situation. We have agreed to see each other a few times before I go away, and

so

now I am in the 'waiting for him to contact me' stage. Great - I'

m

loving it

 

If he doesn't ask me in the next few days, I may have to contact him to arrange it as I have to tell him exactly how I feel. Not issue an ultimatum, but let him know that I love him & want to be with him. It could give him the push he needs to leave the marriage. I want to suggest we spend as much time as possible together over the next few months to see if we think a relationship really is possible despite the age gap. (He told me way back in the beginning that if he met someone like - proceeded to describe me - who was, say 38, he'd leave his wife. I know my age is the biggest factor in him trying to stay away from me.) Although I have no idea what state his marriage currently is - neither of us mention it - I do know he's been unhappy and wanted to leave for 5 years. And I do know, especially after reading this forum, that this isn't a fairytale and we're not just going to ride off into the sunset together. It's going to be tough and painful and awful, but I'

m

prepared for that. For us to take it real slow and just date whilst he's going through a divorce (we talked about that before). And I would stay in this country.

 

In regards the age gap, I have thought about this

so

long and hard. I am an incredibly rational person (normally!) and have researched stuff on the internet, asked myself some very difficult questions and I am completely comfortable with all the answers I have found. Trust me, I don't need 'imagine when you're 48 and he's 76?' or 'what about kids?' questions right now, cos I've thought through them all. And although it bothered him in the beginning, I know the more we've got to know each other, the less of a problem it's become.

 

Or, more likely, he'll tell me he can't leave his wife (for the same reasons I've seen written on here a million times), in which case I have to tell him we can't have any contact ever again. And it will break my heart. But it's breaking already - the more I see him the more I want him and it's just killing me.

 

Please please does anyone have any words of advice or comfort?

I want to ask you all 'do you think he'll leave his wife?' - which I know is ridiculous because who can tell? Trust me, this man does love me. I just don't know if that's enough for him to make the leap.

 

Ask any questions you want...

 

THANK YOU to those who have read this far!! Just writing it all down has really helped.

 

[CherryBakewell]

Thought I'd give you an update...

 

I sent the email, telling him how I felt, that the NC inbetween sex hurt me, that I deserved better, I want to be with him, it hurts that I can't and saying it all stopped now. I told him I wasn't p*ssed off with him, just sad. He replied within an hour, a long email agreeing with me, saying he'd hate him if he was me and was relieved I didn't. Told me he loved me but that an A wasn't right for either of us. That I'm the closest he's ever had to a soul mate. Blah blah blah.

 

Oh boy were you guys right, this MM is a twat. The real kicker - get this - after he tells his W he's leaving, she begged and begged him to stay. They talked about why he wasn't happy in the M and 'she agreed to all his requests'. Since then she has made a 'supreme effort' to keep him happy, and he is now happier in his M then he's been in a long time. (I'm like WTF!!! Kick me when I'm down why don't you - so our A fixed his M, but without his W knowing about it.) Apparently this makes his R with me so much harder. He's realised you can be in love with two women, but not give both of them the love they deserve.

 

Yes he's a serial cake-eater. Prior to me he was having a PA with the 21yo secretary at work (so he was her boss). God, thinking about it now I can't believe he sh*tty that was of him - he totally took advantage of that young girl. They 'split up' after me & him got together. I didn't know about he was banging the secretary when we first slept together. He'd been unfaithful twice before that as well. I found out about the secretary at the next work night out, when they *split up*, & him & I slept together for the 2nd time (which incidently was the best sex I have ever had.) He told me a couple of months later that that week he'd slept with her on the Tue, W on the wed, & me on the Thur. Should I add that all this sex was bareback ie - no condom? And yes there was an STD scare. The attraction between us was so strong I just ignored, or wasn't bothered by, things that I would normally find abhorent.

 

The more I look at this in the cold light of day, the more I can't believe how I actually thought I wanted to be with this man. Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt that he really does think he loves me. What I've realised is that his love isn't worth the price of a postage stamp. I'm still not mad at him, the main reason being I've inherited an tremendous gift of empathy from my mum so I genuinely understand his actions and find it so difficult to judge anybody in life. Although I wish I was angry at him as I think it will help me move on, so I'm concentrating on remembering all the ways his actions have hurt me. Hence why I'm writing some of the awful things he's done. It's actually very difficult to do, because I cannot stand how it reflects on me that I was in 'love' with someone like this. When I say love, I think it was more likely to be infactuation...

 

He finished the email by saying we had to say good-bye 'for now' and 'who knows what the future may bring?'. Obviously just trying to keep the door with me open a crack, incase his W stops busting a gut trying to keep him happy.

 

Why I'm so embaressed & ashamed, & I know this is is arrogant of me to admit but god knows I've been told it so many times there must be some truth in it, is that I'm pretty universally considered to be 'amazing', beautiful inside & out and very intelligent . I get asked out by lots of guys and have a whole bunch of friends who just adore me & would do anything for me. I'm embaressed I let myself be treated like absolute crap, & I must have known I was because there's so many things I didn't tell my friends about MM because I knew it would 'make him look bad'. I didn't want to hear people say bad things about MM & I didn't want people to know that I was putting up with behaviour a million times worse then stuff I have said I would never tolerate from a man. So I was even being dishonest with myself. I feel like an idiot & a gullible fool.

 

Sod it - might as well let it all hang out! (This is so theraputic I'm just gonna keep going...) I was mentally, emotionally & on occasion physically abused by my dad when I was a child. I was sexually abused for years as a young teenager. (MM knows this by the way). It's taken me years and years of intensive therapy to heal myself and am very proud of how much I have achieved. I carry no anger anymore about what happened me. I believe it has actually made me a much stronger, wiser and kinder person. Anyway, I guess why I'm telling you this is because the whole 'father figure who treats you like crap' parallel is - now - so obvious to me. It wasn't before, so even though I am now one of the most confident & happiest people you could ever meet, I guess my self-esteem still needs a bit of nuturing. My brain knows that I'm fab & lovely & deserve wonderful things in life, but I guess that message hasn't quite sunk into my heart as much as I'd have liked it too. I've learnt I need to be far more careful about looking after myself and that even though I consider myself tough, invincible & 100% healed, I'm actually still quite vulnerable. I never thought I'd let a man treat me badly ever again. My studies have suffered, & are still suffering, because this R. My work has suffered on occasion because of this R.

 

The process of writing this post has made me see things so much clearer. Thank you all so much for your responses - I cannot tell you how much you have helped a stranger. I find it almost impossible to ever feel sorry for myself and never ever blame other people for the way I feel - it's my way of feeling & staying strong and in control of my life. In my email to MM I even took blame for the situation, said I held no-one but myself accountable for how I felt as it was my fault for getting involved with someone whose heart wasn't free for him to give. Totally let him off the hook - I didn't want to make him feel guilty. Rereading this & thinking about other things he's done has actually made me cry, seeing in black & white how badly I have let him treat me. I'm trying to let myself actually feel sorry for me, & blame him for doing this to me, but I can't. I'm just beating myself up for being stupid - why do I think I have to be perfect? Is it ok to say he hurt me & he was wrong to do what he did, or is that being weak because I let him? Is it awful that part of me wants to make him feel bad, like he's hurt me?

 

I never replied to his email. I will be seeing him at a meeting on Tuesday. Part of me wants to ignore him, no eye contact, hurt him by cutting him out - passive agressive maybe? Another part of me wants to try & talk to him in private after the meeting. It might help me if I actually told him that what he did to me was not ok. And an even bigger part of me is scared that as soon as I see him my stomach will drop, my heart will lurch & even though I really really don't want too my eyes will betray me & he'll see in them that I still care about him.

 

Any tips on how to handle seeing him on Tuesday? The advice helped me so much last time, I think I need some more words of wisdom!!

 

And thanks if you read all that!!! x

Edited February 11, 2008 by CherryBakewell
Changed a word!

[GreenEyedLady]

Ignore him...He's not worth another second of your time...

 

Sorry he turned out to be such an a******!

 

((HUGS))

[CherryBakewell]

Thanks GEL

[whichwayisup]

Wear sunglasses!!

 

Stay strong and hey, even if he does recognize that you still care about him, all that shows is you're human and can't turn your emotions off so quickly.

 

You are in control! Remember that!