Author samsungxoxo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 (edited) Your BF is just plain weird and needs to worry about his own private parts... Why are you not upset at him for doing this and then speaking with your Mom about this ?.. I'd be very upset... Yes I recall telling him to stop, that it was embarrassing. But he was like ''Why is it embarrassing, I'm looking out for your health, it's important''. To him, he views it as helping, he does says how he is trying to look after me. He did explained once how he couldn't figure out why girls (his exs) would get upset whenever he told to fix their rooms, that it was messy and smelly. He basically say the same thing, that he was only trying to look after them. Edited January 31, 2008 by samsungxoxo
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Ok I forgot to mention that he did explained both to me and my mother that he could figure out by smelling my bathroom. He did say that everytime he would come to my house, it wouldn't smell like I had taken a crap. That's another way since I don't have an odor spray. As for the looking in my trash he did say he wouldn't see, that all he seem to see was piss paper and not crap. As for flushing toilet yes we do have flush whenever we want to, the plumbing is good. Is it that the bathroom doesn't get cleaned enough? Honestly, it should not smell of pee or poop UNLESS you aren't flushing the toilet paper down the toilet and you're wiping your ass and then putting it in the trash can. Your bf is weird! Tell him that if he finds your bathroom stinky, HE can clean it himself or shut up!
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 Did his Mom teach him to wipe front to back to? Yes, she did.
amaysngrace Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 To him, he views it as helping, he does says how he is trying to look after me. Yeah but surely you can wipe your own ass. I keep track of my dog's poops, sort of. He goes everyday and I would notice probably if he didn't. But my nine and ten year old children I never ask. Unless they are having stomach problems. But on a day to day? I love my kids to death. But their business is their business. I certainly wouldn't discuss their poops with anybody. They'd kill me for that. Besides, who would be interested in hearing?
Kasan Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Is it that the bathroom doesn't get cleaned enough? Do you have carpeting or really old flooring in your bathroom ? Sometimes the urine can get into flooring and needs to be replaced. That could account for the smell. If it were me, I would research online and come up with some good tips on grooming for him. Telling you how to wipe is none of his business and a bit insulting!!!
stevessvt Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 I say next time you go, if he wants to know so bad when you go, leave all the used toilet paper in his car. He should be proud of you.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 Is it that the bathroom doesn't get cleaned enough? Honestly, it should not smell of pee or poop UNLESS you aren't flushing the toilet paper down the toilet and you're wiping your ass and then putting it in the trash can. Your bf is weird! Tell him that if he finds your bathroom stinky, HE can clean it himself or shut up! No my bathroom doesn't smell at all. He just say that normally it should smell like crap but it never does whenever he would come. Thus, he figure out I sometimes constipate (well that true, I do) but darn, I didn't think he even check that. I guess when he once told me ''I notice every single little detail'', he really meany every detail afterall. He even wanted to teach me how to shave (according to me the correct way) or how to wash myself correctly when I take a bath. As for the pee I meant what he saw in my trash. The way he say it tells me that he probably must have search through it
a4a Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Do you have carpeting or really old flooring in your bathroom ? Sometimes the urine can get into flooring and needs to be replaced. That could account for the smell. If it were me, I would research online and come up with some good tips on grooming for him. Telling you how to wipe is none of his business and a bit insulting!!! who pee's on their floor? and if she can flush tissues why would they be in the trash can?
Art_Critic Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Yes I recall telling him to stop, that it was embarrassing. But he was like ''Why is it embarrassing, I'm looking out for your health, it's important''. To him, he views it as helping, he does says how he is trying to look after me. He did explained once how he couldn't figure out why girls (his exs) would get upset whenever he told to fix their rooms, that it was messy and smelly. He basically say the same thing, that he was only trying to look after them. What bothers me Ailec1987 is that he would feel that he should bring this up.. the whole conversation is NOT appropiate.. it is none of his business and further more it is of such a personal nature but he still feels the need to mention it to you and your Mom.. The balls of some people.. You should correct him and tell him to mind his own business from now on and if he has a problem with that then you should reconsider your relationship with him.. People have boundaries.. It sounds to me from your postings that he crossed yours..
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 This guy has some serious OCD! Now it's up to you if you want to continue with him or not because OCD doesn't go away, and as he gets older it will only get worse and he'll be even quirkier.
Kasan Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 who pee's on their floor? and if she can flush tissues why would they be in the trash can? Sometimes men miss.....haven't you been in those really old apartments that reek? The flooring has been down forever, and the finish has worn off, so anything wet gets absorbed into the flooring. My grandmother never flushed her pee tissues as she was on a well and was trying to save water. I really made sure that I didn't have to use the bathroom when I was there.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 This guy has some serious OCD! Now it's up to you if you want to continue with him or not because OCD doesn't go away, and as he gets older it will only get worse and he'll be even quirkier. Yes I do believe he has that problem but he had so far two long term relationship (his ex which was 1 year and 9 months) and me which is now 1 year and 5 months. True if it gets too much in the future then he would have to seek help from a couple counseling but like he says, maybe that's his way of looking after me (caring about me).
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Maybe he needs to try medication too. OCD is a mental illness and with the help of meds and counselling he can learn to change his behaviour, and thinking patterns. It could lessen the OCD, though it will never go away.
amaysngrace Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 My BF is OCD and he's extremely clean. But he says I am too so I guess we're a match. Ailec maybe you should buy some nice smelling lotions from Bath and Body or something. The thing that seems odd to me is that he is concerned with your bodily functions. My BF cringes at the sight of blood and seems a little put off by anything nasty like poop or throw up. I think your BF has some kind of weird fetish.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 Darn, I guess when you're in love, it's sooo hard just walk out that they can be having flaws and you just either don't see it or you do but choose not to.
Author samsungxoxo Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 Ailec maybe you should buy some nice smelling lotions from Bath and Body or something. The thing that seems odd to me is that he is concerned with your bodily functions. My BF cringes at the sight of blood and seems a little put off by anything nasty like poop or throw up. I think your BF has some kind of weird fetish. Smelling lotions, lol, that's a good one. Yes blood he does cringe at that, we were about to do it once well on my period but it was too much blood (off course one time he told me that I should be changing my pad now and then). Yes it is some weird fetish and maybe any girl would have dump him already. But then again guess it's love alright, that it either doesn't let you see the flaws your SO can be having or you see their flaws but choose to not see it.
amaysngrace Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Well maybe he is OCD. My BF hates needles. He had cavities filled without novacaine. Because he was afraid to get the needle. Does he do things like check the stove to make sure it's off or lock the door as soon as he comes into your house? Does he wash his hands a lot? My BF has little quirks about him but I really just love them. I think he's awesome.
spookie Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 OCD or not, I think your bf has serious personal boundary issues. But I guess if you're ok with that, I don't see a problem. Personally, I would be creeped out and extremely uncomfortable. Pooping and menstrual habits are in the category of privacy that's important to me. I think you should talk to him about this from the privacy perspective as opposed to the embarrassed one.
Author samsungxoxo Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 Yes if he brings it up again then yes, I will have a talk about it. If it's not that, it's my weight he's been nagging me about, how I should at least get to 130 Ibs exactly, no more than that when he comes visit in my country. I don't think I'm that overweight at 140-150 ibs (since I'm 5''7'') but ok, he did met me more thinner. I got a bit annoyed when he say things like ''Oh if you don't lose weight, then it would you don't care about me, you don't love me'', that's been said many times. We did talked about a week ago when he called my house, he say that he's just trying to look after my health (same thing he would say over the bathroom incidence). I guess he's a bit insistent about my healthy and being cleaned.
whichwayisup Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 I guess he's a bit insistent about my healthy and being cleaned. Abit?? Ailec, this guy has control issues, and it's not just OCD. He is also manipulative and has put conditions on his love for you. ''Oh if you don't lose weight, then it would you don't care about me, you don't love me'', that's been said many times. And what did you say to that? Did you get angry at him, talk to him about how crappy that is to say to you?
Author samsungxoxo Posted February 28, 2008 Author Posted February 28, 2008 And what did you say to that? Did you get angry at him, talk to him about how crappy that is to say to you? I say ok in the end. Not that sitting my points and saying no will diss, no is that I didn't wanna be mean. For some reason I have kinda a hard time saying no at times so I pretend to agree with him. I guess this might relate to my experience as a child in 4th grade with a friend of mines. She would tell me to do stuff, else she wouldn't be my friend anymore and I would do it all, I didn't wanted to be a loner with no friends.
whichwayisup Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 The more you don't stand up for yourself and speak your mind, the more controlling he's going to get. A, you need to build on your self confidence. NO man, (or woman) who continually says JUMP and expects you to say "how high" over and over again to be their friend isn't worth having in your life. It's okay to disagree, speak your mind, have discussions, and sometimes heated discussions. If you always say "yes" and do what he wants, you suffer at some point.
mscaprine Posted February 29, 2008 Posted February 29, 2008 If it's not that, it's my weight he's been nagging me about, how I should at least get to 130 Ibs exactly, no more than that when he comes visit in my country. I don't think I'm that overweight at 140-150 ibs (since I'm 5''7'') but ok, he did met me more thinner. I got a bit annoyed when he say things like ''Oh if you don't lose weight, then it would you don't care about me, you don't love me'', that's been said many times. We did talked about a week ago when he called my house, he say that he's just trying to look after my health (same thing he would say over the bathroom incidence).It has nothing to do with "watching out for your health". He's trying to control you under the guise of caring for you. I suspect that the longer you're with this guy, the worse he will get. But if you want to put up with that, go for it. Personally, I think doing that kind of thing is over the line. My significant other wouldn't dream of checking out my bathroom habits (let alone informing me and the family of them), or telling me I need to lose weight "to show I love him". That is downright rude and ignorant. He has some serious issues. Going around making mental notes of what peoples' bathrooms smell like and why. Going through rubbish looking for dirty, poo/pee-stained tissues. Worried about how many #2's person has, or if they're constipated. WTF?! You people here are being way too polite. The guy sounds like a nutter. Sorry, just my 2 cents.
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