SYRACUSE03 Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 To those who know my past posts, thanks for reading and responding. In a nutshell, I have been broken up from the ex gf for about 5 months. However, we were still involved until late October. Anyway, she decided to cease 99% contact (and I have reciprocated) with the exception of some text messages on Christmas and New Years. Anyway, I made it through the holidays but for some reason, the last week or so has been difficult for no specific reason. I have been doing a ton of things to keep moving forward but sometimes out of the blue, it hits me and it hits hard. I was just wondering why after making good progress, why did I go backwards? Why am I giving in and letting thi negative stuff have so much power over me? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
jdeedee Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Sometimes it just comes and goes and doesn't make sense. That's why we're talking about emotions -- logic doesn't always apply
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 You are right, it doesn't make any sense. Even when I do not dwell on it, it seems to come to the surface and I wishe I knew how to avoid it or get past it.
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 I guess you are right...I was just trying to see if anyone had similar stuff happen to them and how they dealt with it. Thanks.
BrianG Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Syracuse, you know you cant use logic when it comes to matters of the heart. Just remember how you were a few months ago and how those thoughts are becoming less and less frequent. You experienced love and those feelings may come and go for whatever reasons, which no one will ever know. Feel what you feel at the time and dont hold in it, release them. As more time goes by those thoughts will be even less and when you meet someone special they will be almost non-existent. I dont think they will completely dissappear but when they pop up you will be more content with the thoughts. At least that is my hope and I hope it holds true for you.
norajane Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Maybe those texts over Christmas and New Year's sparked your thoughts. Or it may be a sign that you're about to take a big step in healing - one step back, TWO steps forward, you know? Getting over a break-up is not linear progress. It's a cycle of emotions you go through until they dissipate. I broke up with my ex 10 months ago, and even though things did not end well and I want nothing to do with him, I found myself driving home from work last week thinking about his laugh. I took it as a sign of progress that I was able to let the memory wash over me without it leaving a bad taste in my mouth. You'll be fine. Give it some more time.
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Thanks for the responses! I appreciate it. BrianG - Thanks for the advice. I try to let it go as quick as the thought comes but sometimes it's not as quick as I'd like. I guess that I thought I would be farther along than I am at this point. Norajane - I guess my big hang up is that she ended it, it was on very good terms and we even tried to rebuild it for a little while. After taking my time, she gradually created the NC or extremely limited contact. I just feel that I was taking 2 steps back and only one forward instead of the other way around. I hope you are right about "taking that big step" to heal.
PinkRibbon Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I think it just takes some people longer than others. It is going on 4 months for me and I still fee horrible and cry everyday. So each person reacts differently. I hope you feel better soon and there are many of us who take longer to get over our ex's.
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Thanks PinkRibbon! I hope your situation gets better as I do mine. You are right, we are all different in how long it takes us to heal. Thanks for the response and it seems that your situation is a little more sensitive than mine at this time so I wish you the best of luck. Someday, we will all get through this...it would just be easier if we knew exactly when!
BrianG Posted January 30, 2008 Posted January 30, 2008 Syracuse, I think your doing great. I agree sometimes that it feels like 2 steps back and one step forward. My ex just contacted me yesterday so I know what you mean. Brought me two steps back and its only been 3+months from me. I was questioning whether or not to open her email but couldn't help it, curiousity sucks. Anyways, i think your making great progress, a few thoughts here and there is not so bad, at least she is not on your mind constantly as before. From what I remember you guys were together for a while so its going to take time and dont be hard on yourself if its taking longer than you thought. Afterall your dealing with your heart. As you have seen on loveshack it can take people much longer than 5 months so your right on schedule, your schedule!!!!! Feel when you feel it, think when you think of her, but not for too long. Just keep on keeping on.
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks BrianG...well said. I've seen all sorts of time frames for people to heal but I also get the "get over it", "I thought you were past this" comments from some friends. They are not trying to be rude, just helpful in the only way they know how. I know I've progressed but you are right, it is taking a lot longer than I thought. Thanks for the post and I wish you nothing but good luck in your situation.
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