peace_pipe Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Hey people, we all talk about flags a lot here. At what point do you have tolerance and understanding. I mean do you not give someone a try because of a flag even though you have a connection? Many of you speak about how cut and dry it is, whereas I view it as shades of grey. I can honestly say that EVERY woman I have ever dated had flags. Every woman I meet who is interested in me has baggage in the form of an ex, excessive debt, and many with self esteem issues. if I were to flag them all, I'd never get laid. Getting laid is not what I want, but you might as well have fun until you find a good person.
jcster Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 At what point do you have tolerance and understanding. I mean do you not give someone a try because of a flag even though you have a connection? Everyone has "flags." You have flags, I have flags - this is not a perfect world. But, the important thing is to decide what are issues for you. What do you want out of a relationship? Who do you envision as a good partner for you? What traits do you look for in your friends? You seem to be aware that your gut is trying to tell you something, but you are not trusting your instincts. If you want to get laid, get laid, but stop trying to turn it into a relationship. You need to have boundaries or you're going to get walked on.
Author peace_pipe Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 Everyone has "flags." You have flags, I have flags - this is not a perfect world. But, the important thing is to decide what are issues for you. What do you want out of a relationship? Who do you envision as a good partner for you? What traits do you look for in your friends? You seem to be aware that your gut is trying to tell you something, but you are not trusting your instincts. If you want to get laid, get laid, but stop trying to turn it into a relationship. You need to have boundaries or you're going to get walked on. Great post. I don't think I have a problem setting some boundaries. No relationship starts off as one. I was getting to know this girl and we fell for each other. I took a slight chance and I broke it off when that chance turned into something bigger.
jcster Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 I took a slight chance and I broke it off when that chance turned into something bigger. Well, then. If you take a chance and it doesn't work out, that's part and parcel with taking chances. If you take a chance and jump over a ditch - and fall in - is it the ditch's fault? The trick is to recognize which ditches are unjumpable. That's the point I've been trying to make, and this is something that I am working on myself - so I (obviously) have a lot to say on the topic - if you don't know yourself, what you want out of a relationship, what your issues are (and we all have them) - then you will not be able to tell whether someone is right for you or not. It's like deciding which berries are poisonous by eating them all and waiting to see which ones kill you. It won't work - it will make you incredibly suspicious and bitter - and that will cause you even more problems. Set the bar higher, and let THEM jump - stop giving so many people chances.
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