jrkidd05 Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Well I'll start out my story when I met this girl, I work in middle east for almost 14 yrs now, then i met this girl about 2 yrs ago and i fallen in love with her she's 27 now and im 35...because of her I decided to leave my wife but I never forget my responsibility for my three kids. Last Nov. 07 my relationship w/ my girlfriend got rocky, I begin looking for the qualities of my wife the way my wife takes care of me and pampers me, my girlfriend is the opposite I cooked for her and prepare things for her, now I was looking for her to give back some love that I was showing her but she does not realize this instead sometimes I feel she does not respect me at all...I felt bad so I turned to drinking w/ my friends...then she would say that I love drinking more than her... Then came the day Dec 9, 2007 when I came back from work she was gone without a word and worst is when I try to contact her she ingnores my calls and text messages...Later on I found out that she was dating someone else during those times when our relationship was shaky already. Im still in so much pain but Im trying to get over her and come back with my wife, but still this pain still lingers in my heart I you know what I simply cant get over her...But I really want to move on now with my life and be with my wife and kids.
amaysngrace Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Uh-oh. Only one thing comes to mind.... What goes around comes around. Your wife wanted you, you didn't want your wife. You want you wife once more. I think it's now her turn to not want you. Sorry Bud....you can't always have it your way. That's karma.
SeraBella Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Of course it hurts, but you don't deserve your wife. Do her a favor and let her move on from you. Take some time for yourself to get over both relationships. And teach your children to respect women, men, and relationships more than you have.
Author jrkidd05 Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 Well you know what guys, that's how great life is because after all that I have done my wife is still willing to accept me, I called her after a week when my girlfriend left and my wife answers my call and she asked why all of a sudden I am calling her now, I simply said I just wanted to say hello wanted to know how she is...then I called her again in the evening and asked for forgiveness and told her my story...She told me that I can try to win her back if I try harder. Then kept calling her everyday until one day on new years eve I called her and her voice was trembling she was in tears, I asked why? she simply replied "I was just so happy to hear your voice again and be able to have this kind of conversation with you" then my tears began falling from my eyes. How could I have been such a jerk! knowing how my wife had loved me and still loved me unconditionally. She's also in the middle east but not the same place with me, our kids at Philippines with her mother. We are now on our way to full reconciliation but what hits me is that my ex-girlfriend is still on my mind I dont know why I think this is about anger that I wanted to get my revenge over her after what I have gone through just to be with her then she does that to me...well I dont know, what Im trying to do now is to forget my stupidity and be with my wife and kids again...What a life huh...you guys may judge me its okay but hey people make mistakes. I dont know what I want to do sometimes I think of beating my ex-gf and his new bf or simply do stupid things to get even and get her memories out of my head and move on.
dgiirl Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 I dont know what I want to do sometimes I think of beating my ex-gf and his new bf or simply do stupid things to get even and get her memories out of my head and move on. That's just your pride speaking. Swallow it, as you've done just the same, if not WORSE (since you took vows) to your own wife.
SeraBella Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 We're not judging you to be *******s, we're just saying what we see. We all make mistakes, and we all have things we're not proud of. You are lucky your wife is taking you back. She does deserve a better man than you, though. You just bounce from one woman to the next, using them to make yourself feel better. The only reason you even called her is because your girlfriend dumped you. You wouldn't have dumped your girlfriend to go back to your wife. I doubt your wife realizes that, or maybe she doesn't want to accept that. You just jump into whatever seems easiest. You're in pain from losing your girlfriend so rather than trying to heal on your own, you go back to your wife. Once you are over the girlfriend, you'll end up searching for something else, but you act like you'll always have your wife to fall back on.
cj1988 Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 If I were your W, I would tell you ti go to H---! You would never step foot near me again.....you are heartless and SHE deserves so much better than you.....NOW you see how much pain you caused your W when you left her for the tramp that left you LOL ! You GOT exactky what you deserved, ALONE !
Scrivdog Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Uh-oh. Only one thing comes to mind.... What goes around comes around. Your wife wanted you, you didn't want your wife. You want you wife once more. I think it's now her turn to not want you. Sorry Bud....you can't always have it your way. That's karma. Yeah but unfortunately you learned your life lessons about Karma on the Lifetime channel for women.
amaysngrace Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Yeah but unfortunately you learned your life lessons about Karma on the Lifetime channel for women. That's untrue. I don't do TV that has commercials. It's so beneath me.
Rx12578 Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 All I'd like to add is to please be 100% sure before your reconcile with your wife. I'm sure you have to know how terrible it would be if after she took you back you left again. She is a very forgiving person to do this (she must have suffered horribly when you left) and I think if you go back you need to do everything it takes to make her happy and never stray again. Also, remember she may have some lingering anger and resentment, you should be patient and try to help her work through that with you.
Author jrkidd05 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 I got all your replies and I admit all the mistakes that I have done and for all the pain I have caused my wife...Now I promised my self never to stray again. You see I love my kids a lot and now I really want to make it up to them that's why I am now convincing my wife to be with me here so we could be together again, she said that would be possible maybe late this year only. And yes I had always believed that I have my wife to fall back to I dont know why but yes that's true. I thank you guys for your replies and now I see what I caused my wife, why this things happened to me. Karma is the right word indeed also this was a blessing in disguise for me that girl just let me realized what kind of love my wife has for me after all what I have done to her. You say that my wife do not deserve a man like me and I admit that. But then for her to give me another chance is the best feeling I ever had now, I dont know why I want to get even with my ex-gf, I guess you are all right when you say that it's my ego speaking. I do want to move on and forget about the wrong things I have done and I just want to get this ad feelings for my ex-gf out of my head so I can move on and hopefully live happily with my wife and kids.
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Lucky jackass. Have you been tested for any STD's??? I think your wife might not accept you back. Your just using her as a back up chick. What happens when that bubble burst if you cheat again, you think she's gonna accept it a second time? I hope your wife tortures you with the fact that she's gonna make you jump through hoops and when it's time to get to the last one she throws it away, ...Just like you did her. You didnt make any mistakes. Cheating and leaving was your choice!!!!! Get that through your damn head!!!
Author jrkidd05 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Oh yes I can accept that word right now for what ever I've done was done already and I cant take it back. You speak so harsh towards a man who wants to change...And to tell you the truth no matter how bad I have been My wife's not playing me and I feel for her because I was such a fool to have done those things to her. I thought you guys would encourage me to face my new start with such determination so I would never do such a thing ever again. Thanks guys.
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Oh yes I can accept that word right now for what ever I've done was done already and I cant take it back. You speak so harsh towards a man who wants to change...And to tell you the truth no matter how bad I have been My wife's not playing me and I feel for her because I was such a fool to have done those things to her. I thought you guys would encourage me to face my new start with such determination so I would never do such a thing ever again. Thanks guys. They not mad at you, but we're mad because you dont seem to have learned your lesson. You dont seem to have much remorse about your actions. Your only crying in truth because the OW left you, period. Not about how much damage you did to your family, your friends, your extended relatives. Yeah you forgot about them huh? Didnt think they counted either huh? We would like marriages to recover but it appears your still in the fog playboy. Your wife is only taking you back because she hasnt found anyone else better than you... Let's be real. They'll come a day when the shoes on the other foot then what? are you gonna be mad , pissed. You cause this chain reaction and your marriage will always have that asterix next to it, for those 2 years you was gone from your marriage in spirit. Cheating is not a mistake, it was a choice you made. No one told you to leave. No one told you or forced you to cheat, that was made of your own free will!!!! Never forget that. Good luck to you.
Author jrkidd05 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 They not mad at you, but we're mad because you dont seem to have learned your lesson. You dont seem to have much remorse about your actions. Your only crying in truth because the OW left you, period. Not about how much damage you did to your family, your friends, your extended relatives. Yeah you forgot about them huh? Didnt think they counted either huh? We would like marriages to recover but it appears your still in the fog playboy. Your wife is only taking you back because she hasnt found anyone else better than you... Let's be real. They'll come a day when the shoes on the other foot then what? are you gonna be mad , pissed. You cause this chain reaction and your marriage will always have that asterix next to it, for those 2 years you was gone from your marriage in spirit. Cheating is not a mistake, it was a choice you made. No one told you to leave. No one told you or forced you to cheat, that was made of your own free will!!!! Never forget that. Good luck to you. I guess I'll be receiving more replies from you and yes I needed that luck I'm going home this friday to my 3 kids and she's letting me in our house again this is just what i need to get back to the right track and I promise to be the father and the husband that i should be.
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I guess I'll be receiving more replies from you and yes I needed that luck I'm going home this friday to my 3 kids and she's letting me in our house again this is just what i need to get back to the right track and I promise to be the father and the husband that i should be. Believe it or not. I am not a bad poster on this board giving strong advice raising hell on the OM/OW board. I want to see these people do right by others and themselves. But how can you reach a person so entrenched in self destruction that they dont have any thoughts of others around them. And yes I will be on your ass every second your on here. If I dont do it. Gunny will. or wog will. Straighten up and fly right. You've been given a second chance. It's time to get to work. Now you need to go NC for the OW and recommit 100% to your wife. Forever. If in any shape form or fashion this OW contacts you , you give it to your wife and be up front. That's the best option to you.
lovelorcet Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Hey CB you should be careful posting some much slang on threads by people who obviously are not native english speakers. What you write is really confusing to them I think...
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Hey CB you should be careful posting some much slang on threads by people who obviously are not native english speakers. What you write is really confusing to them I think... LOL. Native english speakers??? Come on. I'm from NY. It doesnt get any realer than this. lol.
lovelorcet Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 The OP is obviously not a native speaker, I am just saying keep that in mind. For example you called him a Lucky Bastard... I know how you meant that but for a nonnative speaker that sounds really harsh.
Author jrkidd05 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 That's exactly what I want to do now 100%...This experience had really taught me a lot not to do things that you'll regret in the end...My kids are so happy that me and my wife are now in good terms they are now helping me to convince my wife to move from Dubai to Kuwait with me so that we could work and live together, I cant wait for it to happen too...She told me that she'll transfer only maybe late this year because she wanted to fix things there first. All these damage I cost not only to her but to the people around her as well, Im really so sorry for what I've done. She really is such a great wife with a heart so good and forgiving. I really hope everyone could forgive for all that I have done. I should never have left her, her love was unconditional...I remember her saying "I just think of it like someone borrowed you from me for 2 yrs and now you're back thank God"......This is my second life and this time I will make it better for all of us me and my family.
Author jrkidd05 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 The OP is obviously not a native speaker, I am just saying keep that in mind. For example you called him a Lucky Bastard... I know how you meant that but for a nonnative speaker that sounds really harsh. I wouldnt have ventured in to this forum if I wont be able to understand what you guys are talking about...Im perfectly fine with the words.
DutchGuy Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 Did you cry tears because you felt sorry for her, or because you felt sorry for yourself? Because I think it might just be the latter.
dgiirl Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 I should never have left her, her love was unconditional... You keep talking about her love for _you_. You do not talk at ALL about your love for _her_. You are still focused on your needs and what you will get out of this situation. Do you REALLY love your wife? Because if you dont, and if you do not acknowledge and fix the real reason you left in the first place, you will stray again in the near future, and that will be even MORE cruel than the first time around. You will hurt your wife AND your kids again. The first time you can call it a mistake, the second time wont be. Right now, you are going through all the high happy emotions of reconciliation. Once all those feelings go away, and you are back to a "normal" life, will you be happy with your wife? Honestly ask yourself why you are going back to your wife? If it's because you are alone right now, then suck it up, be a man, and be alone for a few months. If after a few months, you still want to be with your wife, then by all means try to reconcile. But at the moment, you still having feelings for your girlfriend, and that's not fair to your wife. She deserves to have someone who LOVES her. At the moment, it does not sound like you do. You are still acting selfishly. Karma will get you again.
Author jrkidd05 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Last night I had a talk with my wife and I just broke down in tears realizing what I have done to the woman that I loved so dearly and loved me more...the reason why my OW and me had the rocky times was because I already am looking for the care that my wife had given me and this OW could not give, and I was just holding on to this OW because of the thought of being alone was just scary for me...My love for my wife was never gone I was just so selfish that I strayed for my own satisfaction, I realized that now...My wife told me last night that our relationship will now have to start from scratch. she also want me to just be with my kids for a while and then she will see after a few months if she will move to Kuwait with me, I will be very patient coz this time I dont want to mess things up anymore. I feel like this all happened for a reason I hope that my love for my wife and kids will be a lot more stronger...My kids are all happy for me and thier mother, my eldest told me that my wife had told her before not to think too much of our separation coz deep inside she knew that at the end of the day your father is coming home to us...I told my kids im so sorry for what i have caused you...they said just come home safe.
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