Jamesith Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I'm curious as to whether LDR's really work,Ive seen many crumble due to alot of things. But why i bring this question up is my best friend is in her what 2nd or 3rd LDR,the others failed due to not seeing each other like ever.But shes in her i think 3 or 4 month mark with this guy,And they won't see each other for 6 or 7 months take into account she lives in Cali he lives in North Dakota. Will 6 or 7 months of phone and internet work for that long of a time,What are your thoughts on this cause I'm curious as to if it will prevail or end like her other ones. Any input on this question would be very much appreciated.=]
TMichaels Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 What are your thoughts on this cause I'm curious as to if it will prevail or end like her other ones. Why do you ask? Best, TMichaels
Author Jamesith Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 Cause I'm just wondering if 6 or 7 months of not seeing each other will keep the LDR alive with only phone and internet. She kinda put herself in the same situation cept she was able to see her last bf.They aren't going to be seeing each other until after graduation.Can this be a well LDR,the only thing I'm really worried about is him finding someone else and cheating on her in the months to come. Thats why i asked.
TMichaels Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Cause I'm just wondering if 6 or 7 months of not seeing each other will keep the LDR alive with only phone and internet. She kinda put herself in the same situation cept she was able to see her last bf.They aren't going to be seeing each other until after graduation.Can this be a well LDR,the only thing I'm really worried about is him finding someone else and cheating on her in the months to come. Same thing could happen if the guy lived around the block. Depends on the two people and their level of commitment. What's your role? Why are you involved? Best, TMichaels
Star Gazer Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Same thing could happen if the guy lived around the block. Depends on the two people and their level of commitment. What's your role? Why are you involved? Exactly. Whether any relationship works - long distance or not - depends on the two people in the relationship and how much they're committed to the relationship. I'm curious though why you care?
Author Jamesith Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 The reason i care and am involved is because at one point in my life i was very much in love with her and i only want the best for her.She took her last break up from her LDR really hard it took her about a month to get back on her feet.I just don't want to see her get hurt again and i know if both people are committed then it can be well. Also were like really close best friends and shes knows i care about her and her life and i only want the best for her thats why i asked if things would be okay.
Star Gazer Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 Well, taking a month to recover from a relationship isn't all that bad, to be honest. If she was back to normal in a month, well then she's stronger than I ever could be. Secondly, you need to remove yourself from her relationship. You're too invested in HER relationship. I'm sure she appreciates that you care about her well being, but she's gotta live her own life.
oppath Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 I know a couple that are more in love than any two people I have ever seen. They were LDR probably 3 out of their first 5 years, before getting married, because even though they met as undergrads they studied abroad at different times and were always someplace else in the summer, then he went away for law school. It worked for them. When there is commitment, and a plan (like: when I am done with law school I will move to your city and I'll find my internship in your city), it can work. Your friends previous LDR's not working out does not mean they would have survived if they were closer. Sometimes the distance will prevent other problems from surfacing because when you do see each other, you are on your best behavior.
Author Jamesith Posted January 28, 2008 Author Posted January 28, 2008 I know that i must let her live this on her own cause its between her and him.And i know I'm to much focused on wanting the best for her and hoping she doesn't get hurt anymore but its a life experience we all have to learn through these things.And i know shes knows ill always care for her and be there for her and shes knows my feelings for her. It's time for me to back off and let her go through this shes a strong girl and i know she can handle herself.But its not like we all haven't worried about a friend and for 7 months it seems like anything could happen.I think it times to take this advice and just be there for her at the times she needs me to be.
j_hunt_12 Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 LDRs work very often... They fail more often, BUT most relationships fail at some point. The main question is if she's willing to go through it. People cheat all the time, it happens in many relationships. I think the fact that two people decide to do an LDR is somewhat a measure of there love and long-term commitment. I would try to not worry about her too much. Just tell her to be careful about anything she does, but she is going to do what she wants to do and it's not crazy what she's doing. 6 months is a long time, but no one will no how it will work except them. Some of my friends give me hell about my LDR, but they dont know me. My friends that support it dont really know me or my relationship either. Like you said, be there for her when you can. That's what friends are for. peace
Author Jamesith Posted January 30, 2008 Author Posted January 30, 2008 Hmm yeah i see what your saying that all i can do right now is be there for her when she needs me to be.It was really them falling in love before this it was basically her Muslim friend making her an arranged relationship type thing kinda like the marriage one.And idk why he decided to put her in another but as of right now there doing well.but yep 6 months is a long time and a lot can happen depending on how much there willing to put in to this or things could happen and not be well if they don't communicate.Cause thats the biggest thing in any type of relationship and trust is another that they won't hurt or cheat on you. But i understand where everyone is coming from on this question i brought up.It kinda helps though I'm still kinda not to sure about this guy but hey i can't be the judge of that.Its up to them how far and how long this LDR will last all i was asking was if it could still work out for them or if the long time away with not much to use to talk to each other would make it end.i seem to have got my answer. Any other comments on this would be very helpful i want to see what other peoples views are as well.
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