PeteJM Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I'm just going to start off by saying that I'm really good friends with this girl. We actually met because we liked each other, but it sort of turned into a close friendship with a little layer of romantic possibility. We would talk daily about everything and eventually it became heavier on the romantic side. She had to leave for a year long trip and we only had about two months left. She wanted to date me, but I declined because I figured it would just make it harder when she had to leave. Of course I wasn't up front with her about why I didn't want to date her. (I'm stupid, I know) To get to the point, she came back from that trip about five months ago. Once she came back we started talking about everything and hanging out all the time again. This time when it became heavier on the romantic side I told her how I felt about her. She said she felt the same way, so we flirted for a few weeks until I finally asked her out. This time she declined. She told me that she was scared and needed some time to think about why. So I gave her some space. It has been two months since she told me she needed to think about things. She has been sending me messages on Myspace every once in a while. She started off saying she still likes me, she's just not sure if she wants to date. That turned into, she's confused about how she feels about me. So for the past two months the only contact has been a Myspace message every once in a while. I've told her that it's fine if she just wants to be friends, and I've tried to hang out with her and talk on the phone. She tells me that sometimes she feels like hanging out and sometimes she doesn't. My question is, does anybody know what's up? I plan on calling her this week and really trying to bring it to a head, but I have the feeling that she will just dance around the issue. I don't want to lose her as a friend, she means a lot to me.
Winfield Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Be up front with her, and tell her the real reason why you didn't want to date her initially (ie, you finding it hard with her going away on her trip)... I wonder if this is her round-about way of getting back at you for turning her down before she left? From what you've written, she doesn't appear to be holding a grudge against you for turning her down (as you're both still getting along OK as friends)... She wanted to date me, but I declined because I figured it would just make it harder when she had to leave. Of course I wasn't up front with her about why I didn't want to date her. Put her straight - tell her what you told the board right ^^^ there, and see what she says. Good luck!
Recommended Posts