The one that got away?

January 27, 2008

It’s a long and dramatic story. I did the right thing that I left him without a trace before anything happened. He is a decent married man with two young children, I am no self-fish home wrecker neither. It should be the end of story then. However, I became depress after I left. I thought I needed to talk to him and made peace with him to resolve the unfinished business. I didn’t realize he was still upset about my leaving, and his wife knew it. Anyway, it ended up his wife calling the police on me. I hated him for it, although I did make a mistake by not letting it go (I would if I could).

About one year later, I accidently ran into this man in a public parking lot. I was walking without notice he driving his car toward me. The moment I recognized him, he already parked his car right next to me. He open the window all way down, his entire body turned toward my direction, his hands almost reached me, he looked so exciting to see me again. He smiled and stared at me with his big blue eyes as he used to. I admitted I was thrilled for a few seconds. But when I thought about the police called and how he humiliated me in front of his wife to save his own a**, my blood was boiled immediately. Without any word exchanging, I looked away, walked off and gave him a finger.

Well, the story isn’t ended then. About five months ago, another one year had passed by, I saw this man again. This time, I pretended like I didn’t see him. I found his ring was gone and he’s been aging a lot. He looked depress and awful. He didn’t dare to come to me this time, he just stood there staring at me. Even though he did awful things to me, I still feel for him and care about him a lot, plus certain degree of curiosity. I went to his car checking him out while he was gone. There’s one thing that he never did was the baby car seat sit in his car. I reckon that he had separated from his wife for some time.

Later, we ran into each other frequently, not in person but his car parked nearby where I parking in public places, such as shopping mall or grocery stores. One time, I saw him, he looked much better, he had done some major improvement on his appearance including his hair. His car was right next to mine and has a sticker on the window with address and numbers. I drove away immediately, even though I still love him but I just don’t think I could ever trust him again. I didn’t want to get those numbers and address because I didn’t think I was strong enough to resist it. I never ran into him or found his car around my neighborhood again after that.

Two weeks ago, my friends and I went to where he lives to visit some other friends. I saw him and his family back together again with his ring on. They didn’t see me though. It was a large food court in a shopping mall, I looked at them during entire dining time. He was tender and soft toward his children and his wife without smile. He looked miserable. I was happy for him and his family but wondered why he didn’t smile at all.

Now, I doubt about my decision of cutting him off. Both of us are miserable, and I don’t think his wife will be happy with his miserable expression. Or she just don’t care but for her keeps her family together and looks good? I know I did the right thing, but what good to me anyway? I’m still a miserable lovelorn. :(

Edited January 27, 2008 by Jen M.
made the article more readable

January 27, 2008

I read your story with great interest, I don't know if he got away or you did the right thing. It does seem though as you still care very much for him. There is one ex in my life that I hope that I never see, as I don't know if I will be able to handle it. I know that I didn't let her get away but I pissed her away if you know what I am saying.

Even though my heart says that I want her back from time to time, I know that I did the right thing. She was not the right person for me even though it seems like it. There is something that I see in her like the "big blue eyes" that you see in him. I have positioned what I see in her as lust and not love, and my shrink says the same.

Pardon the ramble.

Edited January 27, 2008 by HoustonScrewed
formating

January 27, 2008

Somehow I get the feeling that something doesn't add up. Are you sure you didn't leave out some important details?

...and maybe he didn't wear his ring because he is seeing someone else outside his marriage?

January 27, 2008

You can't judge ONE moment in time because you saw it that he is miserable and so is his wife. Either way, they have their reasons to stay together. Honestly, it isn't your business anymore...The more you focus on him and his life, what he's doing, thinking and all the why's about his choices it will prevent you from moving on.

He isn't divorced and he's not calling you...Please, distance yourself from him and try your best to let go.

January 27, 2008

To HoustonScrewed:

Thank you for taking interest and time to read my post. Yes, it was lust if anybody must say (a very P.C. answer). However, lust doesn’t last long, it has been years for what’s going on between us.

To malaclypse:

I wish I knew the answer. If so, I wouldn't be thismisable. From his reacting, I would consider that he had convicted real adultery to his wife was the time he refused talking to me and letting his wife "taking care of me". He was stone cold to me after I left for only three month, but the way he treated his wife was uncharacterized tender and sweet, I sensed that he was full of guilt. Since we never had done anything wrong, he must got something from somewhere other than his wife and me. However, I have no position and no interest to find out the truth. It’s his wife’s problem, not mine

To whichwayisup:

And again, you are right, I wish I could tell myself the same thing. Leaving him without a trace was the only right thing I had done if you must say.

Edited January 27, 2008 by Jen M.
some typo, am never good in typing

January 27, 2008

It’s a long and dramatic story. I did the right thing that I left him without a trace before anything happened. He is a decent married man with two young children, I am no self-fish home wrecker neither. It should be the end of story then. However, I became depress after I left. I thought I needed to talk to him and made peace with him to resolve the unfinished business. I didn’t realize he was still upset about my leaving, and his wife knew it. Anyway, it ended up his wife calling the police on me. I hated him for it, although I did make a mistake by not letting it go (I would if I could).

About one year later, I accidently ran into this man in a public parking lot. I was walking without notice he driving his car toward me. The moment I recognized him, he already parked his car right next to me. He open the window all way down, his entire body turned toward my direction, his hands almost reached me, he looked so exciting to see me again. He smiled and stared at me with his big blue eyes as he used to. I admitted I was thrilled for a few seconds. But when I thought about the police called and how he humiliated me in front of his wife to save his own a**, my blood was boiled immediately. Without any word exchanging, I looked away, walked off and gave him a finger.

Well, the story isn’t ended then. About five months ago, another one year had passed by, I saw this man again. This time, I pretended like I didn’t see him. I found his ring was gone and he’s been aging a lot. He looked depress and awful. He didn’t dare to come to me this time, he just stood there staring at me. Even though he did awful things to me, I still feel for him and care about him a lot, plus certain degree of curiosity. I went to his car checking him out while he was gone. There’s one thing that he never did was the baby car seat sit in his car. I reckon that he had separated from his wife for some time.

Later, we ran into each other frequently, not in person but his car parked nearby where I parking in public places, such as shopping mall or grocery stores. One time, I saw him, he looked much better, he had done some major improvement on his appearance including his hair. His car was right next to mine and has a sticker on the window with address and numbers. I drove away immediately, even though I still love him but I just don’t think I could ever trust him again. I didn’t want to get those numbers and address because I didn’t think I was strong enough to resist it. I never ran into him or found his car around my neighborhood again after that.

Two weeks ago, my friends and I went to where he lives to visit some other friends. I saw him and his family back together again with his ring on. They didn’t see me though. It was a large food court in a shopping mall, I looked at them during entire dining time. He was tender and soft toward his children and his wife without smile. He looked miserable. I was happy for him and his family but wondered why he didn’t smile at all.

Now, I doubt about my decision of cutting him off. Both of us are miserable, and I don’t think his wife will be happy with his miserable expression. Or she just don’t care but for her keeps her family together and looks good? I know I did the right thing, but what good to me anyway? I’m still a miserable lovelorn. :(

I think your best bet here to to forget this man. You saw him with his family and that's were he belong's. His marriage is really not your business. Just because he did not have a smile on his face this past time you saw him has no bearing on his overall happiness IMOP. I understand that you still have feeling's for this man...however with NC and time it can change. Best of luck.