katty774 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Well the bad news just keeps coming. Not only is my ex and his gf coming to the wedding, but they come over to my sisters to have her fill out some papers for them so they can convert her religion,.the sad thing is she told me that he was wearing a wedding band and she is wearing a big engagement ring. Its strange how fast things happen. He was still calling me in Oct. and coming over etc. and now he is living with her and their getting married. So now not only do I have to see the happy couple I have to deal with being at this wedding with them. I just wish I never had to hear or see him ever again. I feel like dying. I did get a dress for the wedding and I have lost 8 lbs. but none of that matters bc I still feel like crawling under a rock.
Leia Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 You'll be fine. You're just feeling this way right now coz of what you found out from your sister. You should be proud that you lost 8lbs and now you can show your body to everyone including them on the wedding day! Have fun, Katty... it's not the end of the world! There will be cute guys on that day and they'll be flirting with you! He has moved on and so should you! Think positive!
EmpressDiva22 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 So go out there and get yourself a hot date girly! Look, I know what you're feeling (check out my post from yesterday "did the last three years mean nothing?"), but whether you realize it or not, YOU have the advantage. He's going to be married, he's now back in the gridlock of a committed relationship, and one that move very quickly at that. In my opinion that puts a lot of pressure on someone, no matter how happy they think they are in their situation. You however are free as a bird! You can see whoever you want, go wherever you want, you are fabulous, beautiful, and you need to find some arm candy and sache into that wedding like you own the place (just remember it's the bride's day though LOL!) You may be like me right now ("yeah but I don't want another date, I love him, I don't want to find someone else") but you don't need to jump into a relationship right now anyway. Flirt, be the classy lady you are, and let surrounding mothers know they need to lock up their sons. Just think of it this way: is he that secure that he needed to seriously jump right into a marriage and moving in with someone? I'm sorry, but I'm not a firm believer in love at first sight or "instant soulmates". So at least you can find solace in the fact that unlike him, you love yourself enough to know that you alone are fabulous, you don't need someone else to validate that! Good for you losing 8 lbs, now get in that dress, get dolled up and FLAUNT IT!
Author katty774 Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 I just don't think I am going to be able to pull this one off. I have no arm candy to take, isn't that pathetic? I don't know anyone that I could take as my date. Im all alone. Yesterday was awful. I spent the entire day and night with my sister doing all these last minute shopping things for the wedding and when she told me the craziness about his wearing a wedding band and his gf wearing her grandmothers engagement ring I was physically sick to my stomach. I had to act strong but later that night when I was alone in my car I fell totally apart. I love my sister and I want her to have a perfect wedding I just wish I could die. I know I am weak, I am just so hurt. My track record with men is beginning to look really bad. Before I dated Bryan (my ex) the guy I hated dated for two years just up and got engaged 2 months later. What is it with people falling in love and getting engaged so fast? Why can't I be that way? I cried last night and this morning until I have given myself a headache. I don't know if I am hurt bc he is moving on so quick or because he and his new gf went to my sister to help them get the paperwork taken care of so they can get married. I still can't get over the fact that he is wearing a wedding band. Why couldn't he have loved me like that?
galaxy1282 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I know how you feel. My ex fiance and I broke up a few months ago and everyone around me is getting married. I also had myself a good cry the other day after my friend was excitedly telling me about the possibility of her wedding moving to this Valentines Day instead of August 2009. Don't let your ex bf and his gf bring saddness to you. You determine how you feel. I know it will be hard, but go to your sisters wedding and have a great time. Put on that dress and look fabulous! Even if you don't have any arm candy, you are still fabulous! And I know this is wrong but just think...50% of marriages end in divorce. Since your ex moved into his new relationship so fast, it probably won't last. By the time they are talking about divorce, you will be over him, and probably have a new man in your life that you are head over heels in love with!
EmpressDiva22 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 What is it with people falling in love and getting engaged so fast? Why can't I be that way? Oh honey listen, you don't want to be that way! I am 23 right now, I started seeing my ex when I was 19. He barged his way through help of my roommates into my apartment all the time trying to force me to hang out with him or go on a date with him. Finally, I gave in and do you know how long it took him after that to even get me to be his gf? TWO MONTHS! That is because I know that if someone is worth being with, they will stick around. I put that boy through hell and back making him sleep on the couch for two months before he ever slept in the same bed with me. I made him wait to have sex, I made him respect me. Trust me, he is drop dead gorgeous and I would have jumped him at first sight if I had no respect for myself, but I didn't. And you shouldn't either. Like I said, you can flirt and have a date and etc. But galaxy1282 is also right, you don't need a guy to be fabulous. Picture this: you, 8 lbs lighter in your hot dress, prancing around socializing, flaunting your fabulousness. Oh, and there he is: with the ol' battleaxe, engaged, like I said he's 'gridlocked'. And even if he doesn't show it, he will see how confident and beautiful you look. Trust me, if you mope around that wedding or cry or show one twinge of sadness he will sniff it out like a dog and it won't show him the most important part: You have moved on!! Even if you haven't moved on, fake it 'til you make it honey. Look, i'm not going to lie to you, it's not going to be fun or easy seeing them there. And if you want to, when you go home after the wedding you cry, you break out the oreos and watch reruns of Bridezilla throwing them and cursing at the tv. But during that wedding, you get that 8 lbs lighter cute tush into that dress and you walk around like your booty is made of 14kt gold. In fact, act like you don't even know they are there. It's not going to be easy donning a huge smile when you feel like crying, but when you do (and you will, I have faith) you will be showing not only yourself, but everyone else that you are a force to be reckoned with.
Author katty774 Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 Oh there is no chance of me crying around the wedding over him, I have far to much pride than that. I could never give him that satisfaction. I don't even let my sister see how much it really hurts me. I held it in all day yesterday and then cried on the drive home by myself last night. My bf is the only one who really knows just how hurt I am. She has been trying to get me to let her go as my date, she is married but her husband said she could but I am almost afraid she will get drunk and tell him off. She has been so furious with my sister and Bryan both. I just wish I had a hot date, I live in an area where there is not a lot of elgible men. Slim pickins. I appreciate all the post and support I have received here.
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