g1976b Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Hi all, I'm a newbie here and I think I know most of the answers, but I figure it doesn't hurt to get some other advice. My girlfriend of a year and a half decided last week that she needed space. We've been living together for nearly a year and she's now staying with a friend. This started as a "break", but now is a break up and she canceled dinner plans with me this evening at the last minute as she just had to "stick to this" and see it through. I have admittedly been overly controlling and she has felt pressured and smothered in the past. I know this plays into things. She is splitting an apartment with a friend and moving in this weekend. She has assured me there is no other man and she does not even want to date anyone for a while. She also talks about needing to figure out who she is and be OK with herself before she can be a wife or mother. As an aside, she is only 24 years old and I am 31. She has been under a ton of stress at work and living with me has added 2 hours to her day because of the commute. She resents me for it. Long story short, she says she wants to be broken up but does not know that she doesn't want to possible date again in the future. Do I have ANY reason to believe her? Conventional wisdom says she's done and doesn't know how to completely break it off or is trying to 'be nice'. At the same time I do love her and as recently as a couple of weeks ago we'd been talking about marriage, etc. I know there's no magic bullet or easy answer...just curious as to what other people think. Thanks!
backspn Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I would say that if you love her and you think she is the right one for you, you should give it time. If you arent in any hurry to date again, which you shouldnt be, then if you and her were meant to be together she will come back. The biggest thing you can do right now is let her do all initiating of communication. You are playing by her terms now, thats if you want to see if this plays out. Smothering her has driven her from you and only time can heal that. The old saying time apart makes the heart grow fonder definitely will play into this. On a side note. She is really young still. By what you have written she has is scared and is uncertain if she wants to be married right now. Best of luck to you.
ZEN357 Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 She just did you a favor! Be done with her! That crap "I need time" or "I need space" is crap. It's an excuse. Tell her to take all the time she needs, because you a done with her. And be done with her. Move on!!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 Its a soft break up. It sounds like she is trying to ease out to make it as painless as possible.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 18, 2008 Posted February 18, 2008 I think the situationis either, or! Either she wants to break up with you and dont know exactly how to tell you with out it being painful, or she really does just want space. She is still in her early twenties and shes probaly just not ready to settle down yet. Maybe she has been in relationship for most of her adult life and she just needs to live her life without an SO. if you truely love her and you two have talked it out in depth, then your only choice is to wait it out. But I would have an serious conversation with her and see if she really just want some time or is she ending it. let her know that you would be more than happy to wait on her , but you cant wait forever!
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