Dandy-LionGirl Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I have taken my friend to school for a year now. We are in college. I pick her up, and drop her off at her house. She lives about 10 blocks away from me. I recently moved by the freeway, and it saves me about 15min. when I go home. Going to her house, takes more time. This semester, I don't feel like taking her to school. She never paid me gas, and toward the end of the semester, she has become sort of rude, and has insulted me, and my boyfriend. When she isn't busy insulting me, she is a good friend. She just got a job and I believe she now has money to take the bus, or find her own transportation. Also, I don't know how to tell her that I do not want to take her to school anymore. Am I just being selfish or should I keep taking her to school. And how should I break it to her that I do not want to go to school with her without ruining our friendship if that is at all possible.
Fettman Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 It would be best to let her find her own way to get to school. If she is gonna show you and your bf no respect and not even attempt to help with the gas, then why should you bother. It's been a favor you've been doing for her and she don't seem to greatful about it. As to how to break it to her, that I'm not to sure of. If she gets you mad one day, just dont show up the next time or something, and then explain it to her next time you two meet.
Green Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 the least awkward thing would be to say that now that you moved you cant drive her anymore. Personaly I got annoyed driving this one guy home from a job I used to have, and it didnt end well when I said I didnt feel like driving him anymore... but things went back to normal after about a month. Just be like I can't drive you anymore and leave it at that. If she gets mad at you lay a guilt trip on her as being ungreatful and explain that you just moved and that she should be happy you drove her not use it as something against you because you can't any more. Hopefully she just says nothing when you say your not going to drive her anymore. Just tell her causualy with no explenation that you cant drive her. and then if she confronts you about it or acts like a stinker give her the guilt trip thing I just outlayed
Fun2BMe Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I can't believe how unappreciative some people can be. Stop being her doormat. The least she could've done in the past was offer to fill up your gas tank, but not to pay you and on top of it insult you in any way is unacceptable and you will be disrespecting yourself if you drive her at all ever again, especially now that it is even more out of your way. Tell her your schedule has changed and on top of it she is even more out of your way and the gas prices don't help your situation either, so you can no longer offer your free taxi cab services to her any more. In fact ask her if she knows of anyone who can give YOU a free ride to school every day. I'm sure you'd like that yourself.
Leia Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Oh how classy of her to show her appreciation! I'd tell her that I won't be able to send her to school anymore as it is out of the way. I'm sorry but you have been a doormat to her for a year and she didn't even bloody paid for the gas! Ok, I'd be fine with that but please, at least have the bloody decency NOT to insult me and my boyfriend (that is if I had one!).
Ronni_W Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 There are two different issues, and I'd suggest to deal with them separately. 1. You have moved, making it inconvenient and an added expense to continue traveling together. It is now costing you time and (gas) money...your friend must surely be aware of this so you could point that out: "Friend, as you know, I've moved closer to school. And I'm sure you also can see that, unfortunately, it also is further away from you so..." Do it from a point of knowing that she is reasonable and understanding. You could add that you'll miss your "just the two of us" time during the drive but this is just something you'll both have to learn to live with. I wouldn't talk in terms of "not feeling like it" -- I'd just keep it about the practicalities. Even if she cannot afford to get to school, that is not your responsibility -- do not allow her to put her education or anything else on you. 2. She has begun treating you in ways that you do not want or appreciate. That is about your whole friendship, not just travel arrangements. I'd deal with the travel stuff first...and a couple or three weeks later open a conversation about what you want and expect from your friendships, and the consequences when people don't promote and support good feelings within yourself. If you being honest with her about your needs, limits and desires will "ruin" the relationship...then she might not have similar enough views to be able to call it a genuine and mutual "friendship", anyway.
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