fishbowlsoul Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 My girlfriend and I of about 3 and half months have decided to take a break. I tend to have a sort of smothering personality sometimes if I am insecure about myself and i often am too intense when I should just relax. My girlfriend broke everything down to me this past wed night and we had a huge discussion, which mostly involved me pleading with her not to break up with me. At the end of the night, she still didnt know if we should stay together or not. I call her up thursday night, we talk for a pretty long time, and I propose the idea of taking a break. We can't date other people during the break, because I really just want to give her space. We pretty much agreed on no contact except for email. I sent her an email that night, and she never responded. Now, we both talk a bit on aim, and I was online today when she came online. I didn't talk to her, this was probably a good thing right? I figure if I would have said hi, that would have been against the point of a break. We just need to figure some things out by ourselves and we plan on hanging out again when the break is over. I was thinking about sending her another email around tuesday or wednesday, just kind of like a "how are you doing? still alive?" sort of deal, nothing too long, just kind of want to see how shes doing. should I just wait for her to contact me instead of emailing her again? or is it acceptable to kind of want to know how shes doing after 6 days of no contact. she is really important to me and I dont want to lose her, but I understand that everything is completely in her hands at this point. suggestions?
Author fishbowlsoul Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 *update* she contacted me tonight telling me that her grandmother is doing okay now (her gma was close to dying in the hospital) she asked how i was doing, i said okay, figuring things out, i asked her how she was, and she said okay. I told her to take as much time as she needs, and that she knows how to get hold of me. then she kind said she would talk to me later and we said goodnight. personally, I think its a good sign that she is still thinking about me and decided to contact me. ill wait for her to contact me first again. again, any input or suggestions would be appreciated, thanks guys!
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 If you need to take a break 3 months into a relationship i'd say get out now, else you'll be taking future breaks at 6 months, 9months, 12, months, etc. I speak of this from experience. If people need to be away from eachother so much that they declare they are on a break, they should just break up. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth in most of the cases you'll see.
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 well first of all...let me tell you by experience and by what i have read that things after you get back from a break things get worst than how they used to be...i say let it go if you guys are meant to be in the future you both will find each other but before you get hurt at this point and get attached, let it go......
jerbear Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 3 months is a short time to have a break. Having her being importnat after 3 months seems needy and clingy to me. Your 3 month GF is having family obligations, so tell her that you'll support her and let her go to you when she needs you. She needs to sort things out without you in the way. Just be there for her.
Author fishbowlsoul Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 3 months is a short time to have a break. Having her being importnat after 3 months seems needy and clingy to me. Your 3 month GF is having family obligations, so tell her that you'll support her and let her go to you when she needs you. She needs to sort things out without you in the way. Just be there for her. i think yours is pretty much the most constructive here. this is exactly what i plan on doing. i understand the concerns of other posters, and i would be lying if the thought hasnt crossed my mind. but i just want to make sure, you know?
backspn Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I would agree with most here. If it was a "break" she wanted then its too soon in a relationship to have a break. If she wanted space and to slow things down then you would be ok. Move on now before you get too attached and its too painful.
Author fishbowlsoul Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 I would agree with most here. If it was a "break" she wanted then its too soon in a relationship to have a break. If she wanted space and to slow things down then you would be ok. Move on now before you get too attached and its too painful. its easy to say that when not in the situation. im optimistic. if things dont work out after the break at least i tried.
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