EmpressDiva22 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 My boyfriend and I were together for three years. We were so in love it was sickening. I have to say, I was a wonderful girlfriend for a girl that had so many trust issues with men. He knew this, and for three years he was understanding of it. We even had our own language, we were so close. Everyday he made a point to tell me how happy and in love he was with me, he did things for me that no one would ever do. We even currently work together (which I begged him not to apply in my company in case this happened). Things that proved he really genuinely wanted me to be happy. Until a month ago. He all of a sudden started being really disrespectful and not keeping plans and make up excuses like "well I texted you to let you know i couldn't come tonight, I thought you got it". Yeah, that's why it went unanswered by me and then I was pissed when you called and acted like I should've known? Okay. So, because he was acting this way it led to a few arguments and we decided to take a few days to "clear our heads" and then we could not continue to fight. I definitely agreed. Tragically within the week we decided this, a woman in my department at work passed away. I was too upset to go to her wake. But guess who did? Um, yeah you guessed it. He has never met this woman that died, keep in mind. He simply was there escorting the BIGGEST WHORE IN OUR COMPANY to the wake. He showed up there in front of everyone in my department with another girl. My friend at work had to tell me and I had to go home. It's been two weeks now and he has been seeing her since they met at their department christmas party a few weeks ago. And silly me, I thought he just was too mad from all the fighting when he refused to even come see me on my birthday a couple weeks ago! On the contrary, he was making out with Lady Skanksalot. How can this be? He is normally a respectful, clean cut English guy who is very driven and is not a scumbag like this. At least he wasn't before. She has nothing that I know that he likes. He is a self proclaimed "face man" (you know, as opposed to "boob man" etc.), but she has the face of a swollen chipmunk with rat teeth. And i'm not just saying that because I don't like her, the girl is homely. For god sake he knew she slept with all the grody guys in his department but he still goes for her? One thing we have in common is he and I don't really want children, in fact he really doesn't like them at all he's even ventured to say he hates them. She has a two year old, what the hell??? She is unintelligent, I am not. She is loose, I am not. I was the love of his life for three years and he just hurts me and humiliates me and doesn't look back? What happened? Is he ever going to realize what he has done, and what a mistake he made. I'm not being egotistical but WHY would you eat burger king dollar menu over prime rib? I'm sorry this is so long, but I need help with this. Unfortunately I am the time of person who needs instant gratification. So I feel like if three weeks or so into this mess he hasn't apologized whole-heartidly or left her then he never will and that rips my heart apart.
THE THRONE Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 It's been two weeks now and he has been seeing her since they met at their department christmas party a few weeks ago. And silly me, I thought he just was too mad from all the fighting when he refused to even come see me on my birthday a couple weeks ago! On the contrary, he was making out with Lady Skanksalot. What is an apology going to get you? If he has been with her for two weeks, but has been with you for three years but failed to spend time with you on your b-day because he was locking lips with her why even question it? He has detatched himself from the relationship, so you need to decide what it is you're going to do--move on. I was the love of his life for three years and he just hurts me and humiliates me and doesn't look back? What happened? He told you that you were the love of his life? What happened? He lost interest and wants to stick his penis in another woman. THE THRONE has to make things P.C. so there it is. I'm not being egotistical but WHY would you eat burger king dollar menu over prime rib? THE THRONE can answer that. A person may not have enough money to afford prime rib. A person may not know prime rib exists. A person may not like the taste of prime rib. A person may be closer to burger king. Burger king is less trouble and you can have it your way. What THE THRONE is ultimately saying is you probably made him jump through hoops and rationed affection to where things were on your terms. This may be the reason why he chose her over you, but this does NOT excuse his behavior.
fishbowlsoul Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 hes a loser. forget about him and move on, I know its tough to hear, but you shouldnt give this jerk any more of your time. it would just be a waste. find yourself someone that actually respects and cares about you.
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 The answer to your thread title is no, it didn't mean "nothing". However, unfortunately by being in a relationship, people can and do fall out of love. Whether it happens in a week, a month, a year, 10 years, or never, we never know. It's basically the chance we take, when we let someone into our hearts. Your time with him meant something to both of you, dont let it's ending devalue what was, however to look back to the past and long what won't be, because that will not get you anywhere but sad and lonely. Take this time to get over the relationship. It's not going to happen overnight. 3 years is a long time. If he did indeed move onto someone else that quickly then it's quite apparent he checked out of your relationship long before he actually left. People don't just fall out of love overnight, it's a gradual thing over time, just like falling in love is. Take your time to get over the relationship, and when you're ready for the next one, you'll meet somebody even more suited for you.
Nemo Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 So I feel like if three weeks or so into this mess he hasn't apologized whole-heartidly or left her then he never will and that rips my heart apart. I really feel your pain. And I am so sorry. :lmao:
Trimmer Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 (edited) He lost interest and wants to stick his penis in another woman. THE THRONE has to make things P.C. so there it is. Dude - that was the P.C. version? Empress - as Aria said, it's not that the 3 years meant nothing, it's just that in a relationship, things often get more heavily weighted toward "what have you done for me lately?" Edited January 27, 2008 by Trimmer
Author EmpressDiva22 Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 What THE THRONE is ultimately saying is you probably made him jump through hoops and rationed affection to where things were on your terms. This may be the reason why he chose her over you, but this does NOT excuse his behavior. I never did any of that. That is something that I made very careful not to do. I was not demanding of him, I never tried to control him or tell him what to do, I never suffocated him. All I ever did was offer my unconditional love. And yes, at one point during the relationship he told me I was the love of his life. Whether he meant that or not remains to be seen. Hate to say it but as much as I can deal with the truth, your reply kind of made me feel a lot worse lol.
NickP Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 heyy empress.. i went thru the EXACT situation u went thru. i went out w my gf for 3 yrs too, b4 probs startd and we had a few arguments, n when we decided to give each other space for just a wk or two, she was in the arms of another guy b4 i knew it. all i can say is, it will hurt less and less with time. u gotta remember that if it didn't hurt, then u're just like him. the fact that u're feeling the loss shows that you're capable of true love, and one day the right person will come along and appreciate you for that. its bn 3 months for me since we broke up, and yes i do still think of her frm time to time tho not that often. but then i realise that what i am missing are the gd parts of the relationship. if tat happens for u, try to think about the times u guys don't get along, lyk the last mth of the relationship, it might make u slowly realise that things were just not meant to be. dun push urself to feel in any certain way to quickly, i.e. dun "force" urself to get over him too quickly. u might do something which ur heart can't handle just yet. give it time and distance urself away from thoughts about him,etc. as to whether he will realise his mistake or not.. yes my gf did realise her mistake and she did come back to me askin to be forgiven, but i cld neva forgive her for what she did & i had already started moving on. but this isn't always the case (as you may be able to read from some cases in this forum). think about how you'll need a life-long commitment from some1 one day, and if he couldn't handle 3 years, do u still think he's the right person for u? hope i helped. stay strong. nick
katty774 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I know your pain. I am having a time myself dealing with the ex moving on. It just seems so quick. In your case however, I believe he has 3 wonderful years with you and this is just something new and different and he will be crawling back begging forgiveness before to long, the question is will you want him then, probably not, you will have moved on yourself. I am sorry you are hurting.
82knightrider Posted January 29, 2008 Posted January 29, 2008 THE THRONE can answer that. A person may not have enough money to afford prime rib. A person may not know prime rib exists. A person may not like the taste of prime rib. A person may be closer to burger king. Burger king is less trouble and you can have it your way. Haha
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