Precious K Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 I need to vent!! I thought I was doing so well with my break up and pursuing a new interest. Well that's not working for me and I didn't pay attention to what other ppl on here said. I feel that I keep screwing up. I have my ex which loves me and cares about me... He wants to work things out but I cant anymore I have taken so much from him that I cant keep going back to him. He said he changed but I cant trust him anymore. My new buddy (lets call him R)made me smile again and be happy to like him. But he's just out of a relationship I know there's "REBOUND" all over this kid, I just get so happy talking to him. He likes me too... he said I'm his baby... aww... sweet. But what is it that I cant do this in a way. My heart doesn't let me go after him, plus he still is going through a break-up thing we all go through. Its been 2 months... not long enough! I just cant see myself letting go. He hasn't talked to me for a day and I worry... WOW!!! I have a problem with ppl liking me and I don't tend to like them back. And it feels that when I want someone they don't want me back... Well not like they don't want me but like they seem so hard to get like R. I have another friend who is really into me. Lets call him M. M likes me he pays so much attention to me, we talk everyday, we flirt and we make each other laugh. But I don't feel those feelings I have for R with M... Sorry I know its hard to follow... I know, I'm really screwed up! Anyway, M is straight with me, he doesn't like the idea that R is in the picture. I told him about him. He doesn't want me to even kiss the kid... So I have been hanging out with M for a longer time than R. I told R about M and he did tell me that he is jealous of M he doesn't even want him to touch me cause he feels like I'm his... I know wow!!! What the hell am I doing, like I wonder if I'm acting like this because of my break up. I know I haven't dealt with the emotions of breaking up but it scares me to just think about it. I miss my ex and Ill always love him but its changed... I need some insight to what my screwed up self is doing to me?? Ya get it, cause I really don't. I guess I just want to know if this is coping or if I'm getting myself into a bigger hole than what I already dug up? My ex knows about M and R!! (Im missing R like crazy... sad:confused:)
sandflea Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 I remember a buddy of mine who went through his divo about a year or two before I went through mine. It was great having him around during mine, because he knew the danger signs - and he knew when to tell me that I was getting in deep. I think his motto for this "crazy time" was "God, please save me from myself". The reason that I bring this up - You, my dear, should put down all of the Rs, Ms, and the rest of the alphabet right now, and give all this drama a rest. I know it can be lonely post breakup, but you need a little time for some perspective to set in, and if you keep bouncing around between guys, you won't have that needed space. Go out with the girls, have a laugh, and tease that guy across the room all you want - but no heavy petting for a month or two until everything calms down. I know it always feels good at first to get all of the attention and affection, but if your heart and head aren't ready yet, you will get hurt, and so will all of the Ms, and Rs out there. Besides, Mr. Right is probably watching from the sidelines, waiting for his big chance! Best of luck. SF
Always Wrong Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 So, if having too many options is a bad thing, you're screwed! Sounds like you are tripping on the power you have over them. Calm down... don't let them think you're playing them, or you'll lose all of them. AW
Author Precious K Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 Thx for the comments... Sf, I've had the post break up lonelyness... its about 5 mths. So I've recently been "flirting" with my Ms and Rs and a few other letters. I don't want anything serious! But they do. I've been honest about my break up with the Ex (X), the M and the R. Its awesome having all these dudes attention the problem is they want more. And I end up getting hooked! Oh my drama, it makes it exciting at one point but I see it as when I have a 'high' there's bound to be a 'low'.... Aw- like I said the options aren't bad... its awesome to a point the other party always ends up wanting more of me... I'm the type to get the "talk" from guys... I'm the one that doesn't worry as to where its going. The reason I feel I'm all f'd up is cause I've never seem to be alone in my life. There's always a guy, and I hate that but I seem to need it. And now I have 3... and it doesn't seem to be healty. They all know about each other but that doesn't stop either of them. And I'm not playing them. They are all in the " friend" stage. Who am I kidding right?! This seems so childish of me!!
Always Wrong Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 If they're game to compete with one another for your attention, why not enjoy it. Just be a fair referee and give them equal time. One of them will eventually win you over, and you'll make your choice, or they will lose interest... hopefully not all at the same time... and the last man standing there is the one... right? No? That would really suck if you decided you wanted the first one that gave up, but it happens. You have what many people wish they had... the curse of plenty! And you'll probably be emotionally drawn to the one that's the most unobtainable, which will be the first one that splits... unless the last man standing is just stinking F'n rich, and you know as well as I do, money is a terrible thing to waste! lol
Author Precious K Posted January 27, 2008 Author Posted January 27, 2008 AW- ouch!!! You're somewhat right! The first one that will slip away is R, and that's who I have feelings for the most. And that's the one who just got out of a relationship. The money part isn't what I'm looking for. I'm the one between all 3 that's more stable and has security. But thx anyway!
Always Wrong Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 I'm sorry... I didn't meen that in an offensive way. You have the playing field, there are three teams that want to compete. PLAY BALL!!!
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