Comparing yourself to the other men in her life

[JackOfClubs]

I need the ladies for this one.

 

Let's say your girlfriend's social circle includes many really successful men. Good-looking guys, athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs, globe-trotter types, etc.

 

Yes she also has female friends as well as male friends who don't have the above. The issue isn't so much as trust, but with wanting what's best for your partner.

 

As an ordinary hard-working joe, I just can't help but wonder why of all these guys to choose from, she picks a regular guy like me. I'm no hunchback of Notre Dame and I make a decent living, I also treat her well, and we love each other.

 

But she could do so much better.

 

This is a dangerous line of thinking, I know. Insecurity and such. So I was wondering if there are any women out there who have this sort of social network but have an average boyfriend and what reasons you may have for staying with him.

[norajane]

There are all kinds of reasons why she prefers a 'regular joe' to one of those other guys.

 

Most important, she loves you. Love crosses all social and economic lines.

 

Also, you love her. Those other guys don't.

 

Those are the best reasons.

 

Good-looking guys, athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs, globe-trotter types, etc.

Those guys don't necessarily make the best partners. If they're globe-trotting, working at their businesses, have groupies, or find it very easy to meet and date lots and lots of women, a woman who wants a serious, committed relationship could feel that she is very low on his priority list...

[carrotgirl]

This is a dangerous line of thinking, I know. Insecurity and such. So I was wondering if there are any women out there who have this sort of social network but have an average boyfriend and what reasons you may have for staying with him.

Yah. I've been there. In some ways, I'm still there. I'm heart, head and soul in love. I could be happy with this man for the rest of my life. He has every quality and characteristic I want in a lover and mate. He challenges me. I learn from him. I learn with him. When we're together I can be myself without worry (my hangup because I don't always). When we're together the world is right and life is good. Even when it's not so good really. We have respect for each other. The list goes on and on.

 

But Jack, none of what I think about him is as important to my man as what HE thinks about himself. My love of him doesn't take away his insecurities. He has quite a few about the most personal aspects of himself - his looks. Sometimes it makes makes things worse; he gets angry that I admire what he finds unattractive about himself. He loves my smallness and he hates his large body. He will never be slender like me. He just isn't built that way. He even hates the color of his hair. He loves the color of mine. And it's THE SAME COLOR.

 

We all bring our issues old and new into relationships with us. Whatever you think is wrong with you, there is something about you that is so wonderful to your girlfriend that she wants to be with YOU. She might adore things about you that you don't even like. And you know she isn't perfect either. So what? Maybe she is perfect for you. She loves you. You love her. Don't you think that's about as lucky as you can get in life? Why make big problems out of little problems?

 

Carrot

[ahah2322]

i love self-respecting, confident men who only wants nothing but the best for me. he, despite his social status, will be the most attractive man on the planet.

 

so, ordinary hard-working joe (JackOfClubs), you sound like a guy who treats her right. there's no reason for insecurities. stay confident

[HoustonScrewed]

Be confident nice and love her. You don't have to worry about the others in her life if she wanted to be with them she wouldn't be with you!

[JackOfClubs]

Thanks for the responses.

 

I needed that.