i've had enough.

[OldSchoolHollywood]

im really confused. im a 16 year old girl and im dating a 17 year old guy, we've been together for 2 years and i just dont know how to feel about him anymore.

 

he started college in september and soon after, i went on holiday for a month, we had little contact. when i returned in january, he didint seem himself anymore. hed snap at me for little things, tell me to "sh" everytime i opened my mouth in front of our friends(we have mutual friends, but he is closer to them, they are nearly all guys. but i really get on with them all and like seeing them), this really started to upset me, but i just assumed he was stressed out about college, so i didnt mention anything. but it just carried on getting worse and worse, to the point that i just didnt feel like saying anything in the presence of him anymore.

 

the other night it came to a head, i came round his hosue and said i was cold, he pretty much ignored me, so i asked if i could borrow his jumper. he sighed and huffed and rolled his eyes so much i just thought **** it. Later on we were outside when one of his mates girlfriends came over, she said she was cold, and without hesitation, my boyfriend offered his jacket. i couldve screamed at him. Later on tht same night, i told him i wanted to go on a break, no contact, for a while. i needed to figure out how i felt about him and i thought it might do him some good (i then mentioned how i thought hed been acting towards me). he didnt seem to show much emotion, but i figured that was just becasue we were near his friends (now i dont know, i keep thinking he just didnt care). i kept trying to talkt o him about it, but he would avoid it, bringing his friends over and basically making it imposible to talk to him. As he was walking me home (with our friends) the girl called again, and his voice lit up like it hadnt in ages, it was like the way he used to talk to me. i just broke down and went home.

 

He called me once hed got home and we had a really long conversation about how he felt trapepd, like he wanted more time alone to spend with his mates. i told him how i felt hed been acting differently and nastily, he just put it down to stress.He even said id been acting differentlya nd trying to show off allt he time and how he didnt like it.

 

So then i saw him last night, and i thought that after wed had this conversation, things would be better, and they were, he wasnt being mean, he was actually listening to me and cuddling me (thigns he hadnt done in a ling time) but i didnt feel right. i felt like there was a barrier between us, and i just cant figure it out, i didnt know if he was acting genuinely, and i find myself not trusting him. he seemed to be okay, as if everything was fine for him, but i dont feel right. right now hes out with his mates (and yes i do feel a bit bitter, jealous even) and all i can do is feel angry and empty;for me at least theres a massive void between us. i used to be so close to him but now i just,hate the thoguht of...him. i dont know, im so confused. Is this over? shoudl i even bother trying to figure this out?

 

please please help me

 

amy

xxxxxxx

[norajane]

As he was walking me home (with our friends) the girl called again, and his voice lit up like it hadnt in ages, it was like the way he used to talk to me. i just broke down and went home.

 

He called me once hed got home and we had a really long conversation about how he felt trapepd, like he wanted more time alone to spend with his mates.

Both of those things are clear signs that he is no longer into your relationship.

 

I think it's time to move on. You want your guy to light up when he is around you, not with other girls. And if he'd rather spend time with his guy friends and not with you, it sounds more like he'd rather be single and available to other women.

 

I'm sorry, I'm sure you care about him. But, you have so many options available to you as far as guys go. Why waste your time on someone who isn't excited to be with you? What's the point of being with someone if you don't feel loved and appreciated?

[kitty_candy_4040]

Hey girl,

It seems like you and I went through basically the same exact thing. At the end of my last relationship, that is to the T exactly what happened between me and him. Only during the last month I really started to notice things weren't right; he'd be short with me on the phone, giving me one word answers, always cancelling on me because " i have school work i forgot about " or, "im just too tired and stressed from work to hang tonight". And the affection went away too; same as yours did. He'd never hug me when he first saw me, never kissed me upon greeting when we met, and barely noticed that I was there half the time.

 

But it's great you and your b/f had time apart and the fact that your talking now is great too. But if you feel that things still aren't right, then trust your gut! That's the greatest advice i can give to anyone. If something is telling you that things aren't the same, or things aren't right, listen to it. If you do want to be back together with him, I wouldn't jump into a relationship. Go out a few times. Start dating even if you want. But don't do anything serious until you know in your heart that things feel right and they are what u want them to be.

[Da_1_n_OnlyN3na]

i also went through the same thing and still are going through what you are going through right now. We have been toguether for 1 year and 2 months now, we had some jealous issues especially on my part and i was being a bitch and overpotective over him. We went on a break for 1 month when we got back i thought everything was going to be just like before and even better because i had changed the way i had been with him. i did it for him because i loved him. well during the break i kept hearing that he was smoking weed even more than before ( i hated when he smoked at times although he didnt do it as much and we had arguments about that). Well that got me worried but i decided to let him be and not tell him anything about him smoking if we got back toguether.

 

Well we go back a little over a month ago,when we got back he was soooo different, he was mean to me he didnt talk much on the phone. He would tell me that i was annoying on the phone, he would insult me and call me stupid all the time (and still does). He wanted to have sex alot at the beginning, we did it for like 3 or 4 days straight and we usually didnt do it that much before. he told me that every 2 times when we hang out and go out we were going to do it. i was getting tired and i told him i wasnt going to get him used to that, i rejected him one time when we were drunk and after that he had told me he was going to be "abstinent" lol w.e. Well i talked to him about him being mean and treating me bad and he started changing and listening to me and being more sweet, then later he was mean again...right now he is both....i know the reason why he is like this, so many mood swings, holding back thinking i dont have the same feelings for him as i used to etc. That weed he smokes with his twin brother and his friends has morphed him into a whole different person. i dont even know who this person is anymore. i dont love him, i love his old self.

 

i am trying to understand him at this point because i know this isnt him, he isnt being himself right now. well my advice to you is that i think that there is something that is going on with him that he doesnt want to talk to you about and is holding back...i dont think he has stopped loving you because he keeps looking for you...i would say be patient. Dont jump into conclusions. trust me........

Edited January 26, 2008 by Da_1_n_OnlyN3na

[ahah2322]

OldSchoolHollywood, like the title of your post suggested, you've had enough.

 

that is unacceptable behaviour. ignore him until he makes an effort to explain things to you and treat you right. you shouldn't ever bear the brunt of the dysfunction in his life/mind/etc.

[THE THRONE]

THE THRONE suggests you place more emphasis on your studies than your love life. In other words, forget this guy and move on with your life.