browneyedtide Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 How do you get someone to trust you again after they have found out you have lied to them and cheated on them? I'm ready to change... seriously. i just dont know how to prove it to him? any ideas?
Ocean-Blue Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 How do you get someone to trust you again after they have found out you have lied to them and cheated on them? I'm ready to change... seriously. i just dont know how to prove it to him? any ideas? It won't happen overnight. The rebuilding of trust takes a while... You have to factor in the extent of the damage, that someone's emotional history, etc. The best way to begin, I think, is to apologize sincerely. After that, you have to talk, listen and take things slow.
spookie Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 Having cheated on someone once, I KNOW I will never do it again (after knowing how it feels to have betrayed and hurt someone that much, I know I wouldn't be able to do it agian) so I do believe people can change. But trust... it takes a long time to rebuild, and sometimes it's not possible. There's nothing you can really do. You can be transparent, but you won't be able to live that way forever. Besides, trust involves faith, wheras transparency for the sake of the partner involves knowledge; so while that would work to soothe his mind, it wouldn't really work to get him to TRUST you. You just have to give it time... a long time, during which you DON'T lie and DON'T cheat. But as I said, it may not even be possible to regain his trust in you; and it may not be worth it. If I were in your situation, I would move on.
Pyro Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 I agree with the big eyeball. Couldn't of said it better myself.
Ronni_W Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 If he hasn't shown an interest in rebuilding trust, then I agree with Spookie -- you can't "get" people to trust you so it would be time to move on. But if he wants and is willing to work towards trusting you again, first up is to find out what HE wants and needs to see. Then decide if it is realistic and reasonable, and something that you actually can and want to do. You could "prove" until you're blue in the face...if he can't let go of the past for whatever reason, it won't work in the long run.
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