Why does my husband lie abou everything then tell me about it ?

[jacquimarie22]

My husband lies about practicaly everything. He lies then tells me the truth afterwards,then says im sorry and doesnt do it again.He does weird messed up things to me then feels bad appologizes then doesnt do it at all.BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO TRUST SOMEONE WHO'S ALREADY LIED TO ME ONCE?hes cheated on me Once never again, did drugs and told me about it days later,just does so many things and lies why is he doing this?we just got married 4 months ago and he says hes stressed about his job and school and his home life can a women bitching at him for lying be stressing him out?!

[whichwayisup]

How old are you and your husband? Honestly, it sounds like he has alot of growing up to do, let alone he needs to understand what marriage is all about, being a loving husband.

 

If he has a drug problem, encourage him to seek help. He DOES have a compulsive lying side to him, so that definately needs to be fixed as well. If he doesn't change his behaviour, your marriage WILL end up getting worse. Please, do not have ANY children with this man until he gets his stuff together.

[JackJack]

Something doesn't sound mentally right. Perhaps he is into playing mind games. In which, if that is in fact the case, you might want to think about WHY you would stay in a situation that is not healthy.

[Ronni_W]

He must be getting something out of his behaviour, whether it's from the lying part, or the apologizing part, or the being b!tched at part (or all three.)

 

Do you know how they showed "love" in his family home? What did he have to do to get noticed?

It could be that growing up, negative behaviour was "rewarded" with (negative) attention, and he hasn't learned that positive behaviour will score him positive love and attention.

 

If it's all subconscious childhood patterns then, yes, it will stress him out to be b!tched at as an adult...even though he is the one acting out in childlike ways.

 

I would ask him what he's getting out of it (he may need a bit of therapy to help him uncover the exact needs), and if he will please come up with more adult and effective ways to get his needs met (with which the therapist can also help him.)

[PandorasBox]

Sounds like either a pathalogical liar or maybe even a habitual liar, or maybe a little of both. Any case, that is something that needs to be delt with and he needs to seek help for.