miali Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 Hi everyone i have been reading your stories for a while now and i think this is a good place to tell my story and get help. I know is long but please read it. My affair with exMM started more than 1 1/2 year ago. I went to work for MM and i felt very attracted to him from the beggining. I dreamed about him for 4 1/2 years!! yeah i was affraid to get close to him because he looked like someone who is too conservative,with moral value and you can tell that he adore his family. But after so many years wishing to be with him and crying because i didn't know what to do... i decided to take a long vacation and asked God to help me what to do whether to leave him alone and leave my job or to tell him about my feeling. In a church in the city that i visited i got my answer...believe or not something inside told me that he liked me but was afraid to get close to me. When i came back to my surprise he finally kissed me. It was the most amazing kiss i ever got. we kissed for a long time. MM was very nervous and told me that we couldn't do it again becuase of his family but the chemistry was soo big that we end up doing it again. We both tryed to end it in the beggining but we kept going back to kissing and foreplay. Three months into the affair i got very upset becuase I want him to take me somewhere outside the office but he won't do it since he was too afraid that someone with seen us together plus he said he was too confused and that he had never had a affair before and didn't know what to do!! we had many fight after that and everything went down hill. I started fighting with him during office hour(close door), we didn't seen to understand each other and i became very jelous and him too. We didn't have a phisical affair up to six months into the R becuase he kept saying that he wouldn't have sex with me. I was confused since we did everything but had sex but he kept saying that he was too confused and that he didn't want to get that close. Finally we did it and he started coming to my place but he never stayed long 'cuase his is very busy and he only would see me during business hour and didn't want to take any chance that wife would become suspicious. MM was honest with me from the beggining that he'll never leave his family and that he was scare to lose everything( i know his wife family and i know they will leave him in the street if they ever find out). But i was crazy about him and even though we break up so many time, we would go back together. Even when i left him finally in the summer, i begged him to give me a last time. Then we would do it again, he would stay alway from me for more than a week and i would asked again and he would fall back. last summer thing really went out control since i became very depress and i started become very demanding in the job(he tryed to acommodate me but the more he complayed the more I asked), i was very jelous of a co worker and i acussed him many time of having an affair with her too even though he denied and told me that i was becoming crazy since he would never even would look at her( she was kind of ugly), and i would fight with him even in front of other co worker!! , i also started missing days and wasn't doing my job well(hate working there). He finally got enough and told me that i look miserable and that he was having problem with his partnes since i was missing too many days and my deparment wasn't that productive anymore and hewould let me go if i want to and told me that he would give me x amount of money so that i be comfortable for a while and that he would give me a good reference. So i accepted since i want to leave anyway. i left for another country for more that a month and over there i had so much fun and even though i missed him a lot i didn't call him When i came back i called him and he came the next day to see me even though we broke off before i left. I heard from someone that he was miserable while i was gone and he loked sad. It was true when i came back i notice that he looked sad and lose weight. We went back together but we didn't see much since everything went crazy in his company. I decided to move away and went i told him he went in shock but then repect my desicion since he knows its the best for me. I'm leaving next week for good i know i can't be here anymore that i need to get away from him so that we both can move up with our live. I want to have a family and star a new business and i know he'll never leave his family Do you think i'm doing the right thing?? and you think this man love me??
Babybird Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 Nothing that you've written has suggested that this man loves you. (Ouch. I'm sorry.) That is the impression that I got. I can't tell you how he feels, but between his company, his family, and the fact that you created problems in the work environment it is probably better for the two of you that you are moving away. This affair sounds like it was completely sexual and whatever you heard in the church you visited was more likely your own subconscious and not the voice of God. I doubt God would encourage anyone to break the vows they said in front of him. IMHO, I would move far, far away and forget this man ever existed.
bentnotbroken Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 Nothing that you've written has suggested that this man loves you. (Ouch. I'm sorry.) That is the impression that I got. I can't tell you how he feels, but between his company, his family, and the fact that you created problems in the work environment it is probably better for the two of you that you are moving away. This affair sounds like it was completely sexual and whatever you heard in the church you visited was more likely your own subconscious and not the voice of God. I doubt God would encourage anyone to break the vows they said in front of him. IMHO, I would move far, far away and forget this man ever existed. I agree that God didn't tell you to go after him. He wouldn't say not to covet what someone else has and then go get it cause you want it. But in all honesty, it appears you know what ever you and he had is over. And he has chosen, with your help, his family and job. Make a new life for yourself and it seems as if you have a good start.
Author miali Posted January 26, 2008 Author Posted January 26, 2008 Thanks for the reply. I think there was more than sex...we know each other for 6 years now and he had been very supporting of me. He had helped me a lot and taught me everything i know about the business. Trust me I saw many revelations in that church that day even some of the thing that happenned later on between us. I know God doesn't approved this type of R but it was meant to happen. We both learned a great deal out this. And yes i'm moving veryyy far away and he wouldn't hear from me in a long time!! we said good bye today and it was so sad but we understand it is for the best please keep responding to my post!! Do you think that he'll miss me??
Leia Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 I doubt he'll miss you. He has his W and family to concentrate on. IF I were you, I'd focus on my move and enjoy the single life. There are plenty of single guys out there and I am sure wherever you are going, you'll meet one.
bentnotbroken Posted January 26, 2008 Posted January 26, 2008 Thanks for the reply. I think there was more than sex...we know each other for 6 years now and he had been very supporting of me. He had helped me a lot and taught me everything i know about the business. Trust me I saw many revelations in that church that day even some of the thing that happenned later on between us. I know God doesn't approved this type of R but it was meant to happen. We both learned a great deal out this. And yes i'm moving veryyy far away and he wouldn't hear from me in a long time!! we said good bye today and it was so sad but we understand it is for the best please keep responding to my post!! Do you think that he'll miss me?? He will work with whatever we give him. And yes, we all learn lessons that are meant to move us in the directions that are best for us. The important thing is you have learned something. Don't be concerned whether he will miss you. Be concerned with what you will do to improve you and how you will take care of you. No one can love you like you love yourself.
Author miali Posted January 26, 2008 Author Posted January 26, 2008 I'm very depress please I need more advice
Meaplus3 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Hi everyone i have been reading your stories for a while now and i think this is a good place to tell my story and get help. I know is long but please read it. My affair with exMM started more than 1 1/2 year ago. I went to work for MM and i felt very attracted to him from the beggining. I dreamed about him for 4 1/2 years!! yeah i was affraid to get close to him because he looked like someone who is too conservative,with moral value and you can tell that he adore his family. But after so many years wishing to be with him and crying because i didn't know what to do... i decided to take a long vacation and asked God to help me what to do whether to leave him alone and leave my job or to tell him about my feeling. In a church in the city that i visited i got my answer...believe or not something inside told me that he liked me but was afraid to get close to me. When i came back to my surprise he finally kissed me. It was the most amazing kiss i ever got. we kissed for a long time. MM was very nervous and told me that we couldn't do it again becuase of his family but the chemistry was soo big that we end up doing it again. We both tryed to end it in the beggining but we kept going back to kissing and foreplay. Three months into the affair i got very upset becuase I want him to take me somewhere outside the office but he won't do it since he was too afraid that someone with seen us together plus he said he was too confused and that he had never had a affair before and didn't know what to do!! we had many fight after that and everything went down hill. I started fighting with him during office hour(close door), we didn't seen to understand each other and i became very jelous and him too. We didn't have a phisical affair up to six months into the R becuase he kept saying that he wouldn't have sex with me. I was confused since we did everything but had sex but he kept saying that he was too confused and that he didn't want to get that close. Finally we did it and he started coming to my place but he never stayed long 'cuase his is very busy and he only would see me during business hour and didn't want to take any chance that wife would become suspicious. MM was honest with me from the beggining that he'll never leave his family and that he was scare to lose everything( i know his wife family and i know they will leave him in the street if they ever find out). But i was crazy about him and even though we break up so many time, we would go back together. Even when i left him finally in the summer, i begged him to give me a last time. Then we would do it again, he would stay alway from me for more than a week and i would asked again and he would fall back. last summer thing really went out control since i became very depress and i started become very demanding in the job(he tryed to acommodate me but the more he complayed the more I asked), i was very jelous of a co worker and i acussed him many time of having an affair with her too even though he denied and told me that i was becoming crazy since he would never even would look at her( she was kind of ugly), and i would fight with him even in front of other co worker!! , i also started missing days and wasn't doing my job well(hate working there). He finally got enough and told me that i look miserable and that he was having problem with his partnes since i was missing too many days and my deparment wasn't that productive anymore and hewould let me go if i want to and told me that he would give me x amount of money so that i be comfortable for a while and that he would give me a good reference. So i accepted since i want to leave anyway. i left for another country for more that a month and over there i had so much fun and even though i missed him a lot i didn't call him When i came back i called him and he came the next day to see me even though we broke off before i left. I heard from someone that he was miserable while i was gone and he loked sad. It was true when i came back i notice that he looked sad and lose weight. We went back together but we didn't see much since everything went crazy in his company. I decided to move away and went i told him he went in shock but then repect my desicion since he knows its the best for me. I'm leaving next week for good i know i can't be here anymore that i need to get away from him so that we both can move up with our live. I want to have a family and star a new business and i know he'll never leave his family Do you think i'm doing the right thing?? and you think this man love me?? Hi..From what you have posted here it very much sound's to me like the mm is after a sexual affair and that's about it. IMOP.. getting away from him right now is the best thing. You need to have NC to break the feeling's and the whole cycle of an affair....most affective way is NC. Good luck to you..Please forgive yourself...we are all human and make mistakes. Hug's! AP:)
nextel Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 The funny thing about life as an adult is this...... only you can make yourself happy. Someone might make you happier, but you have to make yourself happy. Do what feels right for you. Always put yourself first. It sounds selfish, but that is the way life is. If you don't put yourself first, no-one else will. While moving away MIGHT make him sad....you need to find happiness and you cannot be happy with a part-time lover. Good luck to you and I hope that you find peace, strength and happiness as you move forward. BTW: Once you move on, never look back.
Author miali Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 thanks again for responding. I already left and moved to another country. I first i felt much better but now i'm feeling sooo sad. It is hard to start life all over again and to think that he didn't have change anything to be away from me i can't stop thinking about him
bentnotbroken Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 thanks again for responding. I already left and moved to another country. I first i felt much better but now i'm feeling sooo sad. It is hard to start life all over again and to think that he didn't have change anything to be away from me i can't stop thinking about him Lots of BS start all over again and do it successfully, you will be fine.
Recommended Posts