mine Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 My bf of 9 months just dumped me, when things were going great and we were closer than ever. I know I had a tone in my voice for a few days...I was worried I was pregnant. I needed to talk but, he just got custody of his son 2 weeks prior. Anyway, it was my birthday and he canceled because he had a meeting for his son...I understood. Besides it was a school night. He said he would make it up to me and we would celebrate later. We talked for the next few days...granted not as much as usual or seeing each other. But we were together 5 days prior...with the kids...cooked dinner...went to the movies...played games, etc. He was very affectionate, more so than I ...kids were around...He wanted us to stay the night. Then, he drove up the next day and went to lunch with us. Then 5 days later, he called and dumped me...saying it's because he cares so much and liked me, he still does, but he can't give me what I want and I deserve so he had to end it...because it wouldn't be fair...and that he has no time even for himself. I was crushed...I had no say...worse...I turned out to be pregnant...only to miscarry two days after. I told him, he asked if there was anything I needed...of course, mad...I said no way...I am strong...I'll get through it...I don't need you, maybe when I was physically/emotionally better, I would like to talk...he said to call him...when I felt ready so I did, he hasn't called back...its been 5 days... Is it over, did he mean what he said? Is there a chance? This has been very hard...nothing was wrong before...he was always sincere...honest, etc. One more thing...upon breaking up...he said it was because his kid was so screwed up. I too, have a child... Finally, he also e-mailed my 9 year old back...b/c she went behind my back and invited his son swimming. He thanked her for the invite, yesterday...but said the Brendon was unfortunately sick...
Jackieboy Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Mine, I'm so sorry to hear your story, some people can be so cruel. This is a common theme of mine but it will still be difficult for you to hear this. You must move on from this man and live life for yourself. Don't pay any heed to the reasons he gave you when you split up, people routinely lie in situations like that because they are basically scared of the reaction they will get for one, and two they are justifying their thought processes to themselves as they don't want to be thought of as a 'bad' person. You will have been lied to so don't dwell on the reasons he gave. This guy is not worth one minute more of your life, honestly. I know (sadly from 1st hand experience) how hugely you are hurting right now. It can consume your life, it can take up every waking thought and the gut wrenching sense of overwhelming loss is huge - yep, been that soldier, got that T shirt. But here's the good part - it WILL improve in time but you must sever contact with this guy. No foolin is on this site and gives excellent advice, search him out but basically seeing your ex again is like putting your hand in boiling water. Every time you contact him splash, in goes the hand again, on comes the agony. To heal stop putting your hand in the water. Its called the No Contact rule and it is hard to do but it does work, I know again, also from 1st hand experience. You are too good a person to waste one second of your life worrying about someone who doesn't care for you back, and he doesn't. It doesn't feel like it now but you WILL meet someone who treat you the way you should be treated. Hang in there, you will be fine trust me, It is always darkest before the dawn, but dawn will break.
Author mine Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 It's just amazing that men can lie, 5 days prior to the break-up he was all over me...in front of our kids... I'm trying to move on...its hard... I do want to share my life with someone...and I'm feeling old...
Jackieboy Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Mine, I know its hard, I really didn't want to get on the dating bandwagon again. I had been out a long time (12 years, married) and I simply couldn't be bothered with all the hassle. BUT, now I am on the bandwagon again I have found its actually quite fun. Remember that tingle of excitement as you went to meet someone on a date? well that feeling doesn't go away and there are simply thousands of lovely single people out there who will want to be with you. You will in all probability meet some who are not suitable but don't despair, that special person is out there and you will be fine, Good luck!
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