beau_cauchemar Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Don't worry, I won't overload you with details (you can always check my other posts.) Basically, we dated nearly 4 years, broke up in Jul 07, she rebounded in Aug 07, official started dating the guy in Oct 07, and now has moved in with the guy Jan 08. And in case you're wondering how or *why* I continue to receive updates, I need to give her mom car payments each month (don't ask, credit thing.) Anyway, my question/issue is, do situations like this usually end up working out? Obviously, I still care about her but am trying to accept that she could be gone forever. Girls, have you had any experience with moving in shortly after a rebound begins? (P.S. - She is 20, the guy's 28, and this will be her first move out of her parents.) Any insight is appreciated. -Me
norajane Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 No, that relationship isn't likely to last. But no, that doesn't mean she'll get back together with you if she and the other guy break up. And you need to start mailing in those car payment checks to her mother.
Author beau_cauchemar Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 Thanks for not just giving me a "you need to forget about her" tough-love response. Trust me, I've come a long way in that department. My life has actually been quite enjoyable for a while now. Many people suspect, however, that she *needed* a new guy in order to bury her emotions. But then again, that's another issue and thread entirely. Thanks for the reassuring, albeit non-definite, advice. -Me
vivrantflo Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Wow, scary.. im in the same boat.. my ex is 21 and her new man is my age.. 28..my ex and I broke up Nov '06. She got into a relationship December '06.. and they are still together.. So yeah, it's possible rebounds can work out.. for how long? Who knows.. but really.. we shouldnt care.
Author beau_cauchemar Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 Hang in there vivrantflo. (Although it sounds like you're doing a pretty good job of that already.) It's only been a couple of months for your situation so hopefully you'll be much better along than me (emotional-attachment-wise) 6 months into it. -Me
catskeepmesane Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Well I am male but after my ex wife I broke up (7 years) I entered into a rebound relationship after 3 months. It did not mean to start that way but it did and it almost immediately turned into a live in one. After 10 months we broke up - that was 3 weeks ago. So now I have the pain of that break up plus getting my head around the marriage break down which I was able to put off through the rebound.....no doubt she will end up in the same boat.
cj1988 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Don't worry, I won't overload you with details (you can always check my other posts.) Basically, we dated nearly 4 years, broke up in Jul 07, she rebounded in Aug 07, official started dating the guy in Oct 07, and now has moved in with the guy Jan 08. And in case you're wondering how or *why* I continue to receive updates, I need to give her mom car payments each month (don't ask, credit thing.) Anyway, my question/issue is, do situations like this usually end up working out? Obviously, I still care about her but am trying to accept that she could be gone forever. Girls, have you had any experience with moving in shortly after a rebound begins? (P.S. - She is 20, the guy's 28, and this will be her first move out of her parents.) Any insight is appreciated. -Me I did the same thing and married the idiot and now we are getting a D.....it never works out........unfortunately it took me 13 years to figure it out and wished I had never did it that way. Me and my EX may have been able to work it out if I had not jumped to the one I was in LUST with........it was sex over love. Good sex made me think I was IN LOVE !
marianne62 Posted January 27, 2008 Posted January 27, 2008 Don't worry, I won't overload you with details (you can always check my other posts.) Basically, we dated nearly 4 years, broke up in Jul 07, she rebounded in Aug 07, official started dating the guy in Oct 07, and now has moved in with the guy Jan 08. And in case you're wondering how or *why* I continue to receive updates, I need to give her mom car payments each month (don't ask, credit thing.) Anyway, my question/issue is, do situations like this usually end up working out? Obviously, I still care about her but am trying to accept that she could be gone forever. Girls, have you had any experience with moving in shortly after a rebound begins? (P.S. - She is 20, the guy's 28, and this will be her first move out of her parents.) Any insight is appreciated. -Me Maybe some of these work out but I've seen more that don't. I had my own bad situation with this. I had a guy whose wife had left him for a woman and 6 weeks later he was pursuing me. This happened when I was a lot younger (believe me, I'd never do this again). Anyway....he pursued me, fell in love with me, blah blah blah and 6 months later was done with me. His ego was bruised and he needed affirmation and he just didn't want to "deal" with the issues of the broken marriage so he used me as an escape. That's my experience and my opinion. Like I said maybe it works for some but I don't think so. By the way, I hope that by the time her relationship comes to and end with the "rebound" you've moved on. That is my wish for you.
Travis L Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 My ex left her fiance of 7 years and the next day she moved in with me. We lasted a little over 4 years and a week before I was to propose to her she left (she didn't know I was proposing). Two weeks later she was seeing a new guy (lasted 3 months). After that ended she was quick to start spending the night with me again...sex...the whole 9 yards. She started partying and spending less and less time with me until we were at one night a week. Fights occurred and just last week she met a new guy. Anyway, that's neither here or nor there... Do I think rebound = bound to fail? No... I read somewhere on here that the dumper has been contemplating the exit for a while prior to them actually pulling the trigger. What is considered to be a rebound in our eyes is a long overdue fresh relationship for her/him. However, if the person has not had an actual break between relationships they are probably doomed to fail as they have not had the adequate time to reflect on what actually went wrong and how they contributed to the failed relationship. I suppose my opinion is that there really is no way of telling whether or not this relationship is going to last... It could be reassuring to think that it will fail but in the end it doesn't really matter. I suppose we receive some amount of solace from the thought that our ex's are miserable without us. In the end, if they were more miserable without us than they were with us....they would be sitting next to us right now. Good luck my friend
Teuen101 Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 agree I got with some one after they had been split up with their ex for like a month we lasted 3 months they moved in with me and all that and would call me their ex-husband all the time- so it didnt work out - always seems to be 3 months for some reason on a rebound. anyway never again- I think in my case she needed more time to heal and deal with her feelings and I told her that and she told me how much she loved me and how that I wouldnt be a rebound. haha now im dumped !
Robert7x Posted January 28, 2008 Posted January 28, 2008 My ex left her fiance of 7 years and the next day she moved in with me. We lasted a little over 4 years and a week before I was to propose to her she left (she didn't know I was proposing). That sounds like my girlfriend... Maybe it was the same one.. Just kidding. Mine left her fiance as well... moved in with me, lived with me for 9 months, then split to another country without actually breaking up with me... She's with another guy there now... who knows how long will that last. Life huh.
Author beau_cauchemar Posted January 29, 2008 Author Posted January 29, 2008 Thanks for all the great responses. Anyone have any thoughts on the effects of moving in soon after dating/rebounding? Does this usually happen due to honeymoon-period feelings? I suppose I'm still going through the "how could she do this and feel this way?" phase. Since I'm 2/2 for the girl leaving me, it's also making me think I'm going to end up like Rob from High Fidelity without the "happy" ending (that love for me will always have a shelf-life.) -Me
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