luvstarved Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I was daydreaming the other day and thought about what if we hit the lottery. At first I was just meandering through the typical thoughts about a new house, travel, quitting work, then an unexpected feeling hit me: oh my God, I could get the F*** out of this hell of a marriage. Then I thought, well, maybe with more money, less daily pressure, etc maybe we would have less conflict and things would be better. I want my marriage to work. I have tried with all my might to make it better. It's a little better, but very little. I can't help but admit that I think winning the lottery would just enable us to give up and move on. The thought makes me sad, but I can't deny my belief in it. Wonder what others think would happen for them...?
Ocean-Blue Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I was daydreaming the other day and thought about what if we hit the lottery. At first I was just meandering through the typical thoughts about a new house, travel, quitting work, then an unexpected feeling hit me: oh my God, I could get the F*** out of this hell of a marriage. Then I thought, well, maybe with more money, less daily pressure, etc maybe we would have less conflict and things would be better. I want my marriage to work. I have tried with all my might to make it better. It's a little better, but very little. I can't help but admit that I think winning the lottery would just enable us to give up and move on. The thought makes me sad, but I can't deny my belief in it. Wonder what others think would happen for them...? A bad marriage will remain a bad marriage, even with the sudden rise in wealth. Maybe you can distract yourselves from the misery...but really, when you hit the sack, you'll still feel as hollow as you did when you were a wage earner.
Curmudgeon Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Wonder what others think would happen for them...? Most likely I'd retire now instead of my planned two years and some months from now. We have no particular financial pressures or worries in our lives so there's really nothing to mend or that needs to be made better. Quite honestly, in the end I think it would be more detrimental than helpful. It might cause more friction in deciding how to spend such a windfall than the comfort level we have now in facing the future together. If it takes money to make a relationship good then there isn't much of a relationship worth saving in the first place.
OpenBook Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I think "big money" ruins a lot of relationships, not just M. I've seen too many stories about lottery winners whose lives just went down the tubes. The rich play by a different set of rules than the rest of us... I think because they CAN. People become more expendable when you're rich. Speaking from personal experience, I like myself a lot more when I'm "lean and hungry" than when I'm rich & spoiled.
Woggle Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 If I won the lottery I would be the same person I am today. I made a killing on the stock market a few years after being broke as hell and it didn't change me at all. Of course financial security and the money to do what I want would be great but it doesn't make somebody a better person. The rich yuppy life doesn't appeal to me in the first place so if I had money I would not want a Mcmansion or some house in the Hamptons. As for marriages any women that would leave me if she had money is not worth one tear or one moment of sadness so I would say good riddance to her.
HisLove Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Well money wouldn't make your marriage better any more than struggling your heart out makes it better. There is nothing worse than worrying about money. Dodging phone calls. Dreading unexpected knocks on the door. Waking up in cold sweat in the middle of the night wondering how you are going to manage. BTDT. My theory is this:- Money doesn't buy happiness...but it sure makes misery a lot more comfortable. I'd rather be wealthy and miserable than poor and miserable.
JamesM Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 While we all think we would remain the same, statistics show that the majority of people are adversely affected by winning the Lottery. Read the story of Jack Whitaker. This was an excellent article written by April Witt of the Washington Post. While we can say it is an extreme, there are too many cases where similar destruction occurred. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A36338-2005Jan25.html You may want to print that story off and share it. Personally, I think unexpected and unearned money such as a Lottery winning, exacerbates an already bad situation. Yet there is overwhelming evidence that it brings out the hidden "evils" that are in our heart. If I don't have a good relationship with my wife, then I now have the means to cheat privately or leave her publicly. Without the money, I may be more inclined to try to fix the relationship. I do not want to win the Lottery...but maybe a little winning would be okay.
Woggle Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 If I won that much money I would put half in the bank and just let it collect interest.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Had a girl working for me at a restaurant in the Midwest; her dad won $5.4M in the state lottery (he took the smaller, lump-sum payout). Within 6 months, parents marriage broke up. Within 1 year, no family member speaking to another as the kids all felt that Mom and Dad weren't sharing the wealth and there were many other hard feelings. Dad started his own business and blew through his money in 2 1/2 years and Mom spent hers on a fast-lane lifestyle. Within 3 years, it was all gone. The funny part was, once poor again, the parents got back together. I lost track of them but wonder occasionally how they're doing today... Mr. Lucky
HisLove Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 My priority would be to look after my parents, set up trusts for my children, and my best friend's three children - where they couldn't access the money until they were 35 or something - set myself up with a beautiful home and car. I would possibly give something to my first xH and his wife (or perhaps trusts for their children too), not sure about my second xH. Then I would lock the rest away in real estate and investments where I couldn't touch it. Not in an immediate way. I would probably still work for play money and pay the bills.
sb129 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 WB and I have talked about this. We would pay off our parents and siblings mortgages, buy my brother a dream home and pay for his care for the rest of his life, and give a large chunk of the money towards funding research to help him overcome his disability. We woudl also pay for him to see the best specialists on the planet. We would also buy our own dream home, travel around the world for a year, and employ someone fulltime to make sure neither of us became cocaine addicts.
sb129 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) Having said that, all the money in the world won't turn back the clock and give my brother back the 11 years he has lost to his disability, so.... I can see how winning big could be bad for you, for sure. Edited January 25, 2008 by sb129
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