4givrnt4gtr Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) I was talking to my mom about my SO. I was telling her that I wanted to asked him something but lately he seems to be really busy at work, as he doesnt aim me as often as he used to. Actually, he hardly aims me at all nowadays. She says that she cant understand why we would want to be talking so much to begin with, that its suffocating. I kinda agree, but, wouldnt the change bother you guys? I mean he went from aiming me every day, at least to say hi, to almost nothing. And its not only that, but also the way he used to be more...sweet I guess, saying hi baby or something like that, to "whats up". Maybe im overanalyzing again...but id like to know ur opinion. To summarize (online) went from: Aim me every day Went to: Hardly aim me at all. Went from: Talking and joking around, being playful and making up cutsey, dumb stories Went to: How's your day Went from: Hi baby, and Big kiss at the end To: whats up and Later (will say bye baby/babe if i say it first) To his defense, he changed jobs (and also at this time is when he changed online too) in person seems to be same. Playful and cute, but not then, not as cute as he used to, and then sometimes he starts working at home too. (i wrote about that too..) And no, he's not cheating. He works with all guys (dont even go there!!) Ive asked him if something is wrong but he says nothing is wrong and that he cant always be joking and playing around. Am i overanalyzing??? if not, what should I do? Ive brought it up and I always get the "nothing is wrong" and a lot of hugging adn kissing to go with it.... Edited January 25, 2008 by 4givrnt4gtr
backspn Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Before I weigh in, how long have you two been seeing each other?
spookie Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 How long have you been together? Usually relationships settle into more of a mundane partnership thing after a couple of months of excitement. Why? Because people have important things going on in their lives and they can't afford to allocate that much energy into retainting a heightened emotional state for themselves and their partner. Hopefully by the end of the hormonally-charged period you have reasons other the rush of it for remainging together, and you've developed a level of trust that makes it ok for each person to focus on his life. Why do you need him to continue being *that* sweet to you? He's still giving you attention and expressing interest in seeing you, right? Are you just insecure that this means his interest is waning? I think that's a dangerous position to take, because oftentimes that's not the case at all, it's just that peope are looking for R's that ADD to their lives as opposed to sucking them dry emotionally.
Leia Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I think it's a good thing that he is still sweet in person than he isn't on AIM or phone. I'd question myself if he acted differently in person. Relationships tend to slow down when it's a year old or later than that. Sometimes it slows down coz one is busy or something is on their mind but they'd rather keep it to themselves for the time being. The best is for you to be yourself around, just like you always are. If you have been together a long time, I'm sure he'll come around to tell you what's on his mind or if there is something wrong somewhere.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Yes. You are over analyzing things. He has slowed down his aim and texts, sooooooo. he is still very affectionate in person. I can see how you get get a little aggravated because you two use to text all day and now its drained . Have you told him that you would at least like an "just thinking about you text" or have a great day text. If I could recieve those kinds of texts every morning , Honestly that would hold me over for a couple of hours.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 We've been dating for 8 months. I know things tend to slow down around this time. Thing is I KNOW but ive never been thru it so i never have seen how it happens and much less how to deal with it. He called me tonight, didnt have much to say. I tried to make conversation but nothing seemed to spark his response. I ended up teasing him about being the strong silent type. He said he wasnt, that he was just the silent type, and laughed. Then he said he had nothing to say. That kind of worried me. Isnt that a bad thing? when we dont have anything to say to each other? Well, i tried, and we did talk a little about his project and about his most adored lover Cricket. Other than that, nothing. We just made plans to go to a party together tomorrow, and then he said good nite. I guess I am afraid of him losing interest since it's happened before (much much earlier...aka less than two months into the relationship) so im afraid when i start seeing less calls/texts/aims. So, from what i gather, i should just sit and wait it out, and try to accomodate into this new style?
KingR Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Give him a break...I would go nuts if my girl IM'd me every day..... At least he is giving you the gift of missing him...
Winfield Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) Give him a break...I would go nuts if my girl IM'd me every day..... At least he is giving you the gift of missing him... ^^ As strange as it may sound, that's true, IMO. And besides, if you're constantly in contact with one another (via IM / text / phone, whatever) when you're away from each other, what are you supposed to talk about when you're together? You still make arrangements to meet up in real life - I'd be more concerned if the "real life" side of things took a downward turn as opposed to the tone of messages / texts, etc... Edited January 25, 2008 by Winfield
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 Haha the things you learn THank you guys for all your responses. I would have worked myself up in a tizzy if I didnt have this lovely forum to learn about relationships. So apparently my mom was right, according to your responses. Being in contact so much will kill us eventually huh. Well im glad i know, thank you guys for the peace of mind
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