EYECANDY000 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Maybe this is it. That's all he wants is arm-trophy and ends up not bothering to find out who she really is underneath it all. You get what you pay for... But theyre sooo hot ! hahah.. ok im done
Star Gazer Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 But why are you with her? You've reduced her to a one dimensional character...all she is a pretty girl to you? You seem to suggest that she should be praising the mighty heavens for having the chance to be with you. If there’s a problem, address it! Attributing your communication or R issues to her being pretty is immature. Too many men use this excuse to justify their own asinine behaviour! And if you don't like this type of woman with this kind of "syndrome" then don't date them. Leave them alone and walk the heck away. ***APPLAUSE***
ahah2322 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 i'm so ashamed to say this but i was 'that type' of girl. i was pretty self-centered and self-absorbed (subconsciously).. and guys tolerated it and they still do.. doing and paying everything i wanted/want. my current bf of three years is the only one who put his foot down right from the start and did not tolerate such behaviour. so my advice to you, stand your ground. your gf is not a bad person (just ignorant of her behaviour.. and such behaviour probably stems from family upbringing, etc.) but you should not tolerate her bad behaviour. teach her and stand your ground firmly. she will respect you, just like how i respect my bf
KingR Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Give it back to her....but turn it up a notch......If this chick is giving you a hard time, disappear for a month ....she will love this....And start spinning other plates...The best way to beat a princess is to run the EXACT same game on her...and then watch your phone ring off the hook.
Woggle Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Why are you still with her. If looks are the only thing that matters get a picture and some lotion because that is all some of these princesses are worth. If all a woman has to offer is looks then you are getting a bad deal. If men stopped kissing up these women they wouldn't be so spoiled.
Pyro Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 i'm so ashamed to say this but i was 'that type' of girl. i was pretty self-centered and self-absorbed (subconsciously).. and guys tolerated it and they still do.. doing and paying everything i wanted/want. my current bf of three years is the only one who put his foot down right from the start and did not tolerate such behaviour. so my advice to you, stand your ground. your gf is not a bad person (just ignorant of her behaviour.. and such behaviour probably stems from family upbringing, etc.) but you should not tolerate her bad behaviour. teach her and stand your ground firmly. she will respect you, just like how i respect my bf I never thought that there was any cure for that disease that you had, but you are living proof that people can change for the better.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Why are you still with her. If looks are the only thing that matters get a picture and some lotion because that is all some of these princesses are worth. If all a woman has to offer is looks then you are getting a bad deal. If men stopped kissing up these women they wouldn't be so spoiled.yeah, but kissing them up is part of whats fun
Woggle Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 yeah, but kissing them up is part of whats fun I meant to say kissing up to and no it is not fun. They get on my friggen nerves.
Author The Studmuffin Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 you guys are really not thinking very far if you think i'm only with her because of her looks, just be because that's all i wrote in this one small internet post. i just wrote was relevant for this particular problem. hell no, she is an intelligent girl that's well worth the attention she's getting. believe me, i don't try that hard with just anybody. but a relationship has to be based on trust, and i can't give her a part of myself if i can expect her to deviate from our plans at every last moment or crush a tiny piece of my heart every week (her not worrying about the consequences, of course). yesterday, we had two classes together (we go to school together) and i pretty much ignored her. so in the evening she texts me asking why i ignored her all day, "did i do anything wrong?" (which of course she had, but apparently already thought it was bygones). i don't think she was expecting me to ignore her like that. so, as you can see, i'm trying to be tough and not take her back easily. i'm sick of her treating my like she's been treating me anyway, and she's done it for the last time. but if i think she'll eventually get the message, get it through her head that this kind of behaviour doesn't work, i'll give her another chance. tell me, ahah2322, what did it take for you to realize this? what should i do? how far should i go in not accepting her back?
ahah2322 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 i'm sure she's intelligent as well. and so am i. people like us are ignorant of our behaviour. we may be well aware that we are getting our way most of the time.. but very much unaware of the impact of such behaviour on others (our significant other and even our friends) because they tolerate us. when did it take for me to realize that i was unreasonable/princessy/self-centered (whole world revolves around me mannerism)? well, my current bf does not tolerate it. he sits me down (unhappily) and explains the impact of my selfish behaviour. this happened several times. make it EXPLICIT that such behaviour turns you off and you will not stand for it. if it gets bad/ if she's still whiny, ignore her but don't be mean to her. i.e. if she's really whiny/demanding (cos i know i am very often), tell her. if this happens on the phone/on a date... tell her you would like to stop whatever it is you guys are doing because such behaviour makes the together-time unenjoyable. do say you will go out another time/ call her back sometime later and express hope she will be nice. BE COOL and NICE/ NOT AN *******. she can get really unhappy and send mean texts (saying she can't believer you're treating her in that manner, not pandering to her whims and fancy etc), ignore her for the day. since you're in the same school, it will be totally rude to ignore, so i suppose being distant works. i hope this helps. always explain her bahaviour. self centered people often don't know that they are and much less the impact of their behaviour. they will keep saying 'sorry', and expecting everything to be alright again. if it has happened only once or twice, let it be. but if it's frequent and you're getting sick of it, tell her something along the lines of ''do you realize that you've been apologizing but nothing ever improves. it doesn't mean anything anymore...'' ps. YOU ARE NOT MANIPULATING HER. what you are doing is telling her the hurtful impacts of the behaviour and tell her its not cute to be self-centered and that you will not stand up for it. EXPRESS APPRECIATION FOR A CHANGE IN HER BEHAVIOUR, making it clear that being nice makes her much more appealing. haha Pyro, i still have a little streak in me, but i am more aware now. friends like me better
torranceshipman Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I don't think she's into you enough to change....this is who she is, how she is, and who she wants to be so don't try to change her. Maybe she just fits with a different type of guy. I admit to being this girl all over, but thats why I rarely get serious with anyone as I know how belligerent I am, lol! I only date guys who I am completely crazy for, and a certain type of guy (captain of the football team type who is very confident and also knows how to handle my dating/personality type). If I was dating someone that let me walk all over them, I would...and I'd lose respect for them and the R would be over quick. I'm not saying thats a good or bad way to be -it's just who I am and I guess its preobably how your girlfriend is too. ...and I agree with posters here that you've reduced her to 'pretty girl only'...there's a lot more to her, I am sure! I'd recommend just totally laying the law down and saying you'll walk away if she doesn't sort herself out...if that doesnt scare her, then she isn't that into you anyway!! - and you deserve someone really into you! Good luck!
Citizen Erased Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 i'm so ashamed to say this but i was 'that type' of girl. i was pretty self-centered and self-absorbed (subconsciously).. and guys tolerated it and they still do.. doing and paying everything i wanted/want. my current bf of three years is the only one who put his foot down right from the start and did not tolerate such behaviour. so my advice to you, stand your ground. your gf is not a bad person (just ignorant of her behaviour.. and such behaviour probably stems from family upbringing, etc.) but you should not tolerate her bad behaviour. teach her and stand your ground firmly. she will respect you, just like how i respect my bf Scary how much I relate to this. You guys have no idea what I was like before my current boyfriend. And thank God for that. I was pretty screwed up because of a number of issues in my life, and being treated like a piece of meat as soon as I grew breasts didn't help me to exactly become a nice and meek studious girl Hence my sexual escapades at school and whatnot. I figured it was all I was worth. I believe my rather nice nickname to some girls was "The English Whore" Guys were so easy to play with, I'm not like that now however. Although I usually get my own way, but that is only because I am stubborn not because I make guys think I will sleep with them or whatever. Thankfully I have my darling boyfriend to tell me when I am being a pain in the arse
lino Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Girls like this should just be treated like sh*t, usually they like it. If not they'll leave & you've not lost much. I'm very familiar with this type as pretty much all the girls I've ever attracted were/are like this!
Woggle Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Girls like this should just be treated like sh*t, usually they like it. If not they'll leave & you've not lost much. I'm very familiar with this type as pretty much all the girls I've ever attracted were/are like this! This is very true. They respect it when a man puts them in their place which I can very easily do but I want a relationship where I have to do that.
Author The Studmuffin Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 thanks a lot for your answers guys, especially you ahah2322! you can't imagine how precisely you're describing my last days and weeks... well, maybe you can when did it take for me to realize that i was unreasonable/princessy/self-centered (whole world revolves around me mannerism)? well, my current bf does not tolerate it. he sits me down (unhappily) and explains the impact of my selfish behaviour. this happened several times. make it EXPLICIT that such behaviour turns you off and you will not stand for it. if it gets bad/ if she's still whiny, ignore her but don't be mean to her. this i've actually tried. i've told her that what's she's doing hurts me and does not work for a relationship. she doesn't seem to realize. she says she's sorry. and then she'll do it again. so i'm getting the impression that i have to really scare her... scare her into realizing that this is the perfect way to lose me. and as you other guys are saying, if that doesn't work, she doesn't really care much. or is just psychologically not ready to have a relationship. was talk enough for you, ahah2322, or did you have to be scared into a reality check ? she can get really unhappy and send mean texts (saying she can't believer you're treating her in that manner, not pandering to her whims and fancy etc this is precisely what happened yesterday! i told her i was ignoring her because she hurt me and i didn't want to see her. she goes: i'm not at all happy with they way you are treating me. "TREATING ME"?!?! ****. i sent her a message back asking if she did not realizing how self-centered she was being. these things have happened only two or three times, but i'm already fed up with it. i know i deserve better, and i can get better. but i've been with her for three months and i have some feelings for her now, so i'll give her one more chance. if i think she might actually be realizing something... i'm gonna leave town for the weekend on a group trip that she's not a part of. take a break. and i'm gonna write her a letter before leaving telling her clearly how she's being self-centered and how it's not working. thanks a lot for your advice... awesome. ps. i know she can change. well, for starters, you have. and also, after we started dating and i told her i didn't like waiting for her and i needed to talk about things (being a very open communicative guy) and when i started noticing this tendancy i told her she needed to adapt to me as well. after this i've noticed her replying to my messages most of the time not unacceptably late and letting me know if she's gonna be late, and stuff like that. and wednesday, when we talked after her last "act" and she knew i was going to tell her off, she was precisely on time!! pss. any tips for that letter? things i could say so that she can clearly understand herself how she's acting? because apparently a lot of what i say doesn't seem to get through her thick head!
sally4sara Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 It doesn't sound to me like it is as simple as "she's pretty and thats why she is self absorbed". She is also very young. Most people are self absorbed at that age. We learn better social skills as we mature. Maybe she just doesn't feel like enough time has gone by to be factoring you into her every decision yet. What bugs me is this feeling like you have to be the one to show her and right now too. you are also in college and have not known her long. Why are you so hell bent on fixing this girl to suit your wants? You too could also be struggling with managing your responsibilities and social calender. You are also being self absorbed. I'm sure she isn't the only attractive girl on campus. But you've decided that this one is the one you want because she is pretty. You didn't pick her because she was a wonderful, caring humanitarian. She just needs to change for you after only three months and you feel like you should be the one to change her. Not saying she might not be a brat, just questioning why you feel its your right to make her change so early in.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 You can't change people you can only deal with them. I agree you don't speak much of her or your feelings for her other then shes "hot" thats shallow. Maybe shes picking up on that from you and giving you back the same kind of simple vibe if you get my meaning. Do you even know her past her looks? You also sound a bit demanding and like your gods gift yourself like some one else here said. Whats wrong with saying she needs some time to concentrate? long as it wasn't said in a nasty manner was it?
Author The Studmuffin Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 ... And also, how harsh should i be? "I know I can get a girl that respects me, if you don't" sounds very nasty to me... but is that what it takes ?
Woggle Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 If you want her to respect you you have to be that harsh but I wouldn't even waste anymore time on this woman. What are you getting out of this?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I'm confused why would any one have to be harsh to get respect? Wouldn't that just make the girl harsh in return? I don't get that mind set I guess its just me. Maybe theres some kind of different rules for hot women are they different then the rest of humanity?
peace_pipe Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 I'm honestly sick of hearing some men paint their SOs as selfish, vain, and "princessess". There is no freakin' such thing. :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: And then I woke up.....
ahah2322 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 haha studmuffin, i was trying to detract you from that path. yes, a good part of my change was owed to the fact that my bf was the type who won't hesitate to take the highway anytime (not heartless tho). i love him (and his confidence) alot and i chose to make a conscious effort to realize my flaws and change. she will only do so if she likes you alot. GOOD LUCK! if not, she's really just not that into you.
Cobra_X30 Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 But why are you with her? You've reduced her to a one dimensional character...all she is a pretty girl to you? You seem to suggest that she should be praising the mighty heavens for having the chance to be with you. If there’s a problem, address it! Attributing your communication or R issues to her being pretty is immature. Too many men use this excuse to justify their own asinine behaviour! And if you don't like this type of woman with this kind of "syndrome" then don't date them. Leave them alone and walk the heck away. There is a pretty pretty princess syndrome. It's like those lines at night clubs where they let the really hot girls skip to the front. Because a lot of guys will treat you better when your really attractive... it can create a sense of entitlement. I find it's best to treat women as though you are not taking their looks into account at all!
Author The Studmuffin Posted January 25, 2008 Author Posted January 25, 2008 yes, a good part of my change was owed to the fact that my bf was the type who won't hesitate to take the highway anytime (not heartless tho). did he ever ?
torranceshipman Posted January 25, 2008 Posted January 25, 2008 Just a point - there is a difference between treating a girl like s**t and being harsh with her!!! If a guy treated me like s**t he wouldnt see me for dust - but if he was harsh (or firm, maybe) with me at moments that warranted that behaviour, then great - I'd respect him for it (because otherwise I can get quite princess-y, because I am used to getting my own way! I think its just personality types that match....
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